Home Forums Dating And Relationship Advice He seems like he's pulling away but is he?

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Carlos Cavallo 4 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #5009

    lisaliv
    Participant

    Hi Carlos,

    I just found your podcast and gobbled up episode after episode over the past two days and just purchased your Connection Code today. I can’t wait for a little more insight.

    But, of course I’m here for a specific situation and was wondering if you might be able to shed a little insight….. I’ve been getting to know a guy over the past 4 months… casual, we’ve both been traveling and such. There’s a connection, we have fun together and made out a few times.

    Over the past month we’ve seen each other more frequently and it’s been good. I met a couple of his friends. And then we slept together for the first time two weeks ago. He was sweet the next morning and gave all the signs things were fine. He had me over and made me lunch a week and a half ago and it was sweet, easy, casual, not hot and heavy like we just wanted to jump each other but like we wanted to spend some time together. By the time we ate, he had to go to a meeting so nothing physical happened (though I think it would have if he didn’t have to go).

    And, now, relative radio silence for almost a week! Ack! He was out of a long term relationship at the end of last year and I know it left him quite heart broken (he’s mentioned it a bit and a couple of mutual friends have alluded to this). He’s also pretty busy (travels a lot for work) so this isn’t totally unusual, it happened early on getting to know each other. He’s not the chatty text-er type.

    I kind of feel like he might be working through new/old emotions but I also don’t want to be a dumb girl thinking there’s a shot if he’s not interested. Or perhaps what I want him to think is ‘she’s awesome, of course we should spend time together’ when he’s thinking ‘i made her lunch, it was great, i’ve been busy and we will hang out again when things slow down a bit’?

    The one thing I have learned- lay off! I am giving him his space. But, of course, it’s driving me nuts!

    I was wondering if you had any words of wisdom.

    Thanks for reading and for all of the good information you provide online. …. it’s super helpful.

    #5047

    Carlos Cavallo
    Keymaster

    Here’s an idea-
    Be bold and brave.

    Call him up, ask him out to something short and sweet. Like a coffee, or a single drink.

    Keep the meeting low-key and no-strings-attached.

    Laying off is good – to a degree. But to answer your question, you might have to get him out and near you to really read him.

    Try that and tell me what happens… post it here….

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