Forums Forums Dating And Relationship Advice Getting him back

This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Jules 3 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #5681

    Jules
    Participant

    I recently had the experience that is mentioned in your video, Complete Commitment. I met a great guy, he was messaging,chasing and we had an incredible time. He said he wanted me to be his girlfriend, which was really refreshing for him to suggest moving things forward. We slept together, which he said the next day was amazing and hoped I hadn’t been disappointed. We arranged to go shopping the following weekend but he seemed relunctant to sleep over again but wanted to see me. He asked what day would be best and I answered, but then nothing. He read my message and didn’t reply. I left it a couple of days and messaged, still no answer. I was so shocked. It went on for another couple of weeks until I asked him for help, he answered straight away and gave me his advice. I then thanked him and said I was surprised he had behaved that way and that I had deserved a message at least. But wished him well and I didn’t expect a reply. He replied instantly saying I had deserved a message and to be treated better than he had. I don’t know what to reply, I really want things back how they were. I don’t know if I accidentally gave off some signals, he mentioned in previous messages about not disappointing me. I’ve read your Complete Commitment programme, which is brilliant but I but would some advice in text messages to see if I can sort things out. Many thanks

    • This topic was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by  Jules.
    #5850

    Carlos Cavallo
    Keymaster

    Keep in mind that text messaging is a bit of a “chicken” way to communicate. I don’t mean for that to sound harsh, but it’s true.

    Texting is for trivial communications, like “I’ll be a bit late” or “Just thinking of you.”

    It is NOT for communications with deeper emotional content.

    There’s a saying: Email has no tone.

    Meaning: Your typed words have no vocal tone to communicate their true meaning.

    This is even MORE true for text messages which are short and very concise.

    No matter how many emoticons you use!

    I do have some texting examples to help you trigger his interest and desire, but I will warn you to never have a text conversation about important relationship issues. It’s a recipe for disaster.

    And it won’t be the fault of your phone if there’s a “disconnect.”

    Instead, learn how to communicate with him in his love language.

    I talk about this more HERE: CLICK HERE for a short presentation

    #5994

    Jules
    Participant

    Thanks so much for replying. I didn’t expect to be in this situation now. We met up again after a few weeks of messaging and him saying he missed me. I was happy as I really like him, despite everything. We had a nice date and yes, slept together. Truth is, I feel a complete amateur in the modern dating world. I’m 33 and have a 10 year old daughter. I took some time after splitting with her Dad to decidecide what I wanted. I’ve been truthful with this guy from the start about what kind of relationship I was looking for and he agreed and said he wanted that too. I’m still unsure why he disappeared on me when he did. It’s so strange. I decided that I couldn’t carry on not really knowing what we were doing. I sent him a message, explaining the I really enjoyed being with him but casual sex isn’t really me and I’m looking to be with someone properly. I said if that’s not where he was then it’s ok, there’s no pressure but at least I knew to keep my options open and be with someone who wants the same as me. I said I didn’t like long winded messages but didn’t want to say all this if we met incase he felted tricked. He replied saying he wouldn’t have felt tricked and asked what I would like to happen. I said I’d feel happier if we are dating only each other and have a healthy balance of seeing each other and our own space. He said he’d like that and really liked me. The thing is recently I feel like I am initiated contact. He replies and we’ve arranged another date but days go by without him contacting me but when we do message, it’s nice and fun. Can I bring up firstly, why he vanished and also about the contact thing, without him running for the hills? I felt do confused. I know healthy boundaries are good but don’t want to scare him either. What do you think?

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by  Jules.
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