Many women think that you need to be a fashion model beauty to attract a man these days. And that's simply the furthest thing from the truth.
Yeah, we could pretend that guys don’t go after girls who are horrible, obnoxious, and completely wrong for them just because they think they’re hot. We know that guys do that.
But we also know that this is completely superficial - and it's almost a sure bet that it will not last.
So we're going to put aside the shallow hookups for the time being so that we can look at what really makes men fall in love with you - and STAY with you.
Because you have to draw him in with those parts of you that have nothing really to do with makeup and fashion. And they have everything to do with your "soft qualities."
What are "soft qualities"? And what is it that really makes a woman attractive to a man?
Well, let's dig into it here with these 7 things that make a girl pretty to a guy. And you can trust these, because I'm a guy - and I've been around many women.
Look, no one is asking you to be a super-happy, bubbly life of the party. (Actually, those people can be downwright annoying.) Nor do you have to act like you're one of those over-the-top positive thinkers.
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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But if there's something that can make a woman twice as pretty at first sight, it's her overall attitude. Regular girls are usually only that way because they're never all that happy.
You ever find yourself in a conversation with someone, and two minutes in you feel like you need to run away as fast as you can?
Or they have that grumpy mindset that takes whatever topic you bring up and makes it instantly negative and a downer.
They talk about whatever topics come up, and are just generally more agreeable.
They also have a certain amount of joy in their view of life that makes conversations a pleasure instead of a burden.
It's a relief from the gloomy, defeatist people that you run into almost all day long. They either hate their jobs, their life, or both.
So focus on a smile and being a bright spot in someone's day if you want them to feel a natural gravity to be near you.
We men need stability and peace in our lives. And nothing ruins that faster than a crazy girlfriend throwing a big pile of drama into our world.
Sure, you have your occasional moments of crying-for-no-reason, and maybe a freak out or two every so often. But you should do your best to keep them out of sight for the first couple months of dating.
If there's anything you can do to be attractive and interesting to a guy, it's keep him believing that you can manage your own emotional situation without involving him all that much in the 'drama.'
Later on, he'll have no problem providing the occasional calming hug for you and emotional support. He just needs to know he isn't dating a train wreck.
Oh yeah, I know what you're thinking: "Carlos, you're giving me sexist stereotypes like this? Next thing, you'll tell me I need to be barefoot and pregnant..."
Uh, no. This one might seem like a dated concept, but it's true for a reason: Hands down, men like it when women can cook for them.
These days, everyone is either ordering from a fast-food window or microwaving something in a box. So it's a huge relief when you know that you can get a nice home-cooked meal every once in a while.
It doesn't have to be an exquisite 3 course meal, just something simple that shows you care about caring for him.
Look, I get it... a relationship is important. For many women, doubly so.
But you can't let your focus become all about THE RELATIONSHIP. Guys sense when a woman is too into the relationship and makes it her only focus - as if her very future depends on it.
It may feel that your connection with him is all that matters - especially after you've had a disagreement or a fight.
The women that are most attractive to a guy are going to have other things going on in her life, and she won't get too caught up in the small stuff of the relationship.
Trust me when I tell you that most guys view this as a major red flag.
Ask any guy what his pet peeve with his ex girlfriend was, and he'll start out with something nice and rational - like "We were headed in different directions" - and then he will finish with: "And she wasn't that great in bed."
When a woman is halfway decent in bed, a guy won't complain. But if she's too laid back and inanimate - he starts to think that this means she's not happy with him.
Maybe he's not that interesting, or attractive.
And if he starts to sense that maybe she's not all that into him, he'll start to think she's looking to cheat, or maybe just end the relationship. And a lot of guys will break up first just to avoid all that drama.
Many girls have a fear of being viewed as a slut, and so they're more reserved in the bedroom. But men also have a huge fear of getting into a relationship and then the sex grinds to a halt.
You don't have to do insane gymnastics, or have the flexibility of a rubber band, but you should focus on keeping the energy and excitement up in bed.
We men don't need superhuman tricks with your tongue, but we do need you to show that you're into it emotionally.
This one is actually much more important to men than it is for many women, and it's also one of the chief complaints I hear from men.
You remember when I told you that it's very attractive when a woman doesn't take the relationship too seriously? Well this tip is directly related to that.
If a woman is too focused on the relationship, she tends to let her own needs slide. And eventually a man feels that pressure - and it explodes when you have a crisis after having not taken care of your own needs.
We want the woman in our life to have her own interests and hobbies to fulfill and recharge her.
It makes it easier for a guy to do things to show his love for you, too. He can buy you gifts and participate with you - which any guy will tell you is the way guys naturally show their love.
If there's any one tip from this list you pay attention to, it's this one.
It's not much of an exaggeration when I tell you that many guys see women as complainers. We hear women complaining about their bodies, their mothers, their girlfriends, their boss, their period, their job, their ... okay, you get the point.
There's simply nothing more unattractive than a person who complains all the time. For a man, dating an Eeyore is kind of a buzz kill.
A guy can look out and imagine the next 30 years of his life, and he won't want to see that time filled with nagging and unhappiness.
She isn't whining about how he's watching sports AGAIN, or how he's acting like a child - AGAIN.
She's out there enjoying and celebrating the things that make him a MAN, even if they're not always the things she would choose.
I'm not talking about kissing up to him and false flattery, either. I mean that you can find those things about him that other women find annoying, and realize that many of them are not going to change in your lifetime.
And look, if we're being perfectly truthful about this, we know that there always has to be SOMETHING to complain about the other person.
And this goes for men, too. We're never going to say that a person is perfect.
So even if you found the guy that was into everything you did, you'd find a way to complain about him being TOO good of a match.
That's super huge, and maybe worth reading again...
We will chase the woman that makes us feel good about ourselves. So it pays to pay attention to HIS feelings in the relationship.
(Yeah, believe it or not, he's going through a ton of emotions behind that calm, unflappable exterior.)
You see, the most important thing for a guy is to choose his girlfriend - and possible wife-to-be - VERY carefully. He knows that his happiness and his future success depends on making the right choice.
He has to choose THE ONE.
But most women don't know HOW a man makes that choice.
If you'd like to discover the unspoken process a man goes through when he chooses his SOULMATE, you can check out my new course that covers this.
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