It's not the same when you're dating men over 40. Whether YOU are over 40, or he is...
If you've been around long enough, you know that things change when you get a little older. Especially when it comes to love and relationships. Dating isn't just a giggly trip to the movies like it was in your teens and twenties...
Now you have to deal with mature dating - and know how to handle things as a grown-up. Yeah, I know - bummer.
But things are better later on. You're wiser, more confident, and you don't have time to waste on game-playing with those "players" out there.
And if you have to date a guy over 40, you should know how to handle yourself - and not get surprised in the process.
So I'm going to cover 5 special tips for you if you're dating a "silver fox" - that's a more affectionate way of describing those guys that are a little more gray.
First - the benefits:
Now, that last bullet point leads us right into the first tip:
Watch how he treats you, and his money...
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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It goes without saying that if you're dating a man, you want a guy that treats you right.
But you also want to choose a guy that has his financial $#!+ together.
Look, let's be realistic - if you're a woman dating a man, you care how much he makes. Nothing says "unattractive" like a low-ambition guy who's content to just scrape by on a minimum wage job. And frankly, if you're still dating these guys, you need to level-up, honey.
"What?? Carlos, are you saying it's okay to be a gold-digger?"
No, I'm not saying you should look for some sugar-daddy to support you for the rest of your life...
HOWEVER, if you want a relationship with a real man, you need to choose a guy that's earning his keep.
You see, women are attracted to rich men for a very practical reason: His earnings generally show how ambitious a provider he is. Women are attracted to providers. And men are happy to provide for you.
So don't feel guilty that you're turning into one of THOSE women. Looking at his earnings potential is just a way of seeing if you're going to be stuck with Homer Simpson, or a guy who will lift you a bit higher up in life.
Oh, and watch how he manages and handles that money, too.
That will give you insight into his character that you might not be able to see until years into a relationship, so pay attention.
A guy in his 40s is not going to be clay, my dear. He's going to be pretty well set in his ways by now...
Meaning that you're not likely to change him. And the worst thing you can do is to turn on your "change machine" and make him into your fixer-upper.
I might argue that trying to change ANY man is a bad idea - mostly because it sends the message that he's not good enough as he is. This is the same as REJECTION to a man.
I'd also suggest that trying to change him is even more of a waste of time on a guy in his 40s or later.
When a person has reached their 40s, their personality is now set in stone. He knows who he is, and who he doesn't want to be. And any woman that steps in and starts trying to make him "perfect" is in for a rude awakening.
The key for you is to choose a guy that's "perfect enough" and leave it alone. Show gratitude for what you have.
If you want to hook a guy who's in his 40s and is a better prospect for a partner, you gotta know what he's looking for in a woman.
In a study of over 650,000 (yeah, that's thousands) online dating profiles, here's the top 2 traits men want in a woman - in order:
If he's in his 30s:
If he's in his 40s:
If he's in his 50s:
Yeah, the top two traits were the same: Fun & Honest women.
Now, there's a bunch of other important stuff he's looking for that he WON'T tell you about (but I can show you in my programs) - but if you can keep the knowledge of the fact that he wants FUN most of all, you'll understand why all those UN-fun things you did may have pushed men away.
You'd be surprised how few women actually try to be fun in a relationship.
You might wonder -
What do men consider a "fun" woman?
Oh, another trait that's essential to a guy is up next -
Wait... that doesn't sound quite right. But it's true.
You know those furry little pets that stick by your side, through thick or thin?
Renowned for their loyalty?
If there's one trait that a man values (but probably would NEVER tell you directly), it's LOYALTY.
Men are very aware of the relative loyalty level of the women they date. It's like we have a loyalty meter in our brains that registers every word and action of yours.
I can't emphasize this one trait enough.
The unspoken battle cry of men everywhere is: "Give me loyalty, or give me bachelorhood!"
And if you SHOW him your loyalty, you'll earn his a thousand times over.
This one is going to blow your mind - mushroom cloud style!
Yes, all men do, but especially men over 40. We're looking at the second half of our life, and we want someone to spend it with, to share laughs and adventures with.
At this age, we've also been able to establish ourselves more in our careers, so we're less focused on spending every waking minute at the office.
A guy in his 40s is also starting to feel a little insecure about his marital status - especially if he's not married like his friends. Being single will take a toll on a man's ego.
And if he's over 40 and past his first marriage, he knows better what he wants...
He's ripe for picking!
You see, for all women's complaining about getting a man to commit, there are a few things you need to know:
When a man acts "scared of commitment," what he's really doing is telling you that he's seeing some behaviors that make him worry about his long-term feelings of attraction to you.
A man worries about commitment more than women do - for a simple reason:
If a man has a bad marriage, he's:
The list goes on and on.
So you can understand how he might be careful about who he lets into his heart.
Maybe you've tried everything:
If you've tried everything, you should know that there's a simple way to get into a man's heart. When you know what a man is looking for to commit to a woman, you'll have a roadmap to getting his complete commitment.
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