You ever wonder how you got along without your phone?
Seriously, these days you can't even date without having a smartphone to help you through it. Sorry, I'm a bit old-school - I was doing online dating before I was really into texting.
But now you have to be able to text a guy you're interested in - and have an impact on him.
The cool thing about texting is that you can send a message just like passing notes in the 4th grade. And it feels about as flirty and fun as that did when you were a kid...
The problem comes in when you don't get the response you expect from him.
Whatever the situation may be, you can use those 160 characters to tease and tantalize his interest. You just have to embrace a few psychological tactics to engage his emotions.
Just in case you were thinking that there's something sly or deceptive about this, let me assure you that the simple act of flirting is a kind of "manipulation" if you get right down to it.
So if you have any problems with using some skills to get the man you want to respond to you, this might not be the article for you.
Let's kick it off with a few rules of the road first:
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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Seriously, if you get too caught up in this stuff, you'll wind up nuttier than a box of all natural cereal. You have to take a balanced approach and not be too serious. Just be cool about it, and don't get caught up in the "game" of it all.
I've had women ask me: "Should I put the comma here, or HERE" when composing a text to a guy. They get so caught up in the details that they think this kind of obsessing helps them win their man.
Don't get too caught up in the details. Don't over-analyze what you're sending. Just follow the spirit of the instructions and you'll be fine.
Seriously, do your best to avoid sounding like an infatuated teenager. Just say it in plain English and leave it at that...
Don't get caught up in a 5 hour texting session, no matter how tempting it is.
I get it - it's hard to resist when you're just eating up all that adoration from him. But if you go too long, you run the risk of him getting really tired of the banter. Short is sweet.
And now let's jump into What To Text A Guy You Like... 7 Flirty Texts:
The truth is that you're going to have to be the one to start at least half (if not more) of your flirty text conversations.
The reason being that most men just don't dig on texting very much. If you have a guy who likes to text you and does, consider yourself lucky. Guys just aren't prone to jumping on their phone to start a conversation.
I know, I know, you want him to - because when a guy sends you a text out of the blue it's like diamonds falling from the sky... It shows you he's thinking about you. And it makes you feel special.
But if you let yourself get hung up on this need, you're going to miss out on a lot of fun. And a lot of guys.
So get to the acceptance as soon as you can that men are not always going to chase you like love-starved dogs - and then use this text on him:
TEXT HIM: "So you're the strong silent type?"
This is gently challenging to a guy. It's a power opener that's sure to make him respond. He can't just let this one sit and not answer it.
A "callback" is a kind of "inside joke" that you have with a guy.
For example, if you found yourself in a conversation about his new electric car, and you started calling him Mr. Musk (after the CEO of Tesla - Elon Musk) - you have yourself a callback to use later.
TEXT HIM: "Hey Mr. Musk, where's my ride to the airport?"
You get the idea. It's all about making it something that only you two joked about, and is exclusive to you and him. It's your inside joke with him.
When you defy a man's expectations, you're going to stand out in his mind. It's practically guaranteed.
So when you send him something seemingly random, it's going to be like a pattern interrupt to his brain. And he's going to have a tough time resisting the urge to ping you back.
The more random the message (but without seeming weird) the better.
TEXT HIM: "This is going to seem random, but if you were stuck on an island, what books would you want?"
Or music, or food, or whatever you like.
The key is to get him thinking and working on your question. This effort tells his subconscious mind that you must be valuable since he's spending this time thinking about you.
And imaginary dilemma questions are a good way of learning more about him in the process. You'll see into his character by the answer he comes up with, so don't ignore the power of this Randomizer...
One of the best ways to trigger a man's emotions is to confuse him a little with your text. Just like #3, it's a bit of a scrambler to his circuits.
So one really good way to get him to respond to you is to "fast forward" your relationship a bit, and then jokingly act like a rich celebrity breakup.
It's easier to explain this one with an example -
TEXT HIM: "Okay, so with my new movie coming out this summer, I think we should get a divorce to keep the paparazzi buzzing. I'll keep the dog and the house in Maui... What do you want?"
Now, obviously you're not married yet, and this is so out-of-the-blue that he'll get your funny tone. And if he responds confused, you dial up the heat a little with some teasing:
"C'mon, play with me. When celebrities break up, they always get on the cover of Us, or In Touch or whatever magazine..."
A little confusion is good, because it makes him work a little to figure out what's going on. And that increases his fascination with you.
One thing I've noticed is that many women take their relationship with their man too seriously. Because it can be so difficult to create a connection with a man, women often treat their relationship like a fragile jeweled egg.
Unfortunately, when you treat him like he's so "precious," he gets a false sense of value. The reason it's false is because it's derived from SCARCITY and not abundance.
So the best way you can communicate that you're not over-protecting this relationship is to play with the energy.
The 'Sorta Compliment' does that job very well.
What you do is you compliment him, but you do it with a small tease embedded in it.
TEXT HIM: "You won the golf match? Awesome! But don't go crazy and drive that cart into the water, Mr. Caddyshack!"
So the formula is a genuine compliment, but then follow it up with a joking tease to keep him humble.
One thing guys love is a challenge. You may have heard this before, and I'll bet it was from me.
You can't underestimate the power of a good challenge to a man.
Some of the benefits:
The fact is that you can't go wrong with a good challenge for him to overcome. This is why all the old fairy tales have the princess giving a challenge to her suitors to complete. There's a deep psychological principle in this fairy tale plot device that has been understood for thousands of years.
So when you text him, you want to make him work a little for you.
TEXT HIM: "You mentioned you're a decent cook. I'm not sure I'll be convinced until I try something you cook up for me. What do you say, Iron Chef?"
That one is even better because it slyly challenges him AND teases him all at once. Now he's got to prove himself!
Guys don't get much appreciation these days. In fact, you might say it's a bad time to be a dude.
Scandals... sexism... patriarchies...
Oy, it makes my head hurt.
There's a lot of positive change out there, but there also comes a lot of hysteria with that.
If you really want to win a guy over, do the simplest thing on the planet THAT NO WOMAN EVER DOES: Appreciate him.
Tell him in no uncertain terms what's awesome about him, then drop the microphone and leave it.
TEXT HIM THIS: "You know what I like most about you? The way you make sure other people smile after talking to you. That's priceless..."
Boom! Drop that mic, and let that sit with him. I can pretty much guarantee he's going to gush to everyone he knows about your text. At the very least, he's going to re-read it about 234,000 times over the next 6 hours.
Tell me THAT won't cement your place in his heart.
And ultimately it comes down to one simple thing to win any guy over: Know what he wants from you - and then give it to him.
You might THINK you know what a guy is looking for, but I'll venture to guess that you're probably working from dated or inaccurate advice from other women who really don't get guys at all.
Have you ever sat down and thought about how few friends of yours really understand men at all? Have you looked at the quality of their relationships?
As my old sales mentor once said:
"I don't go to the guy with $40,000 in debt to tell me how to invest my money. I go to the guy with a BIG PILE of money. I go to the source."
Well, if you want to discover the secrets to winning any man you want, why wouldn't you ask a guy who knows what men want?
I studied and coached men for YEARS - and I put all that research into this program to help you connect and win his heart...
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