Invest In YOU – Carlos Shoots From The Hip
Want to listen in on a conversation I had with a friend recently?
She’s a really great friend – let’s call her Helen – who is actively dating. Helen and I have a good relationship, and she counts on me to call her on her B.S., which I’m happy to oblige.
By the way, if you’re not the kind of person who likes to hear the truth, or you’d rather I blow smoke up your skirt and hide what’s really going on … you might not want to read this.
Still with me?
Okay let’s eavesdrop on my conversation with Helen as we drank our coffee:
HELEN: “So I want this guy to like me…”
CARLOS: “Oh? Why is that?”
CARLOS: “I said, why do you want him to like you?”
HELEN: “Well, uh, I like him.”
(She starts to squirm here, realizing that her answer is a bit – well, lame.)
HELEN: “I mean, he’s cute, successful.”
CARLOS: “Sounds promising.”
HELEN: “Well, what should I do?”
CARLOS: “Let me ask you something…”
CARLOS: “Why SHOULD he like you?”
CARLOS: “You heard me… why should this guy like you back?”
HELEN: “Because I’m awesome!”
CARLOS: “Nice! I like the attitude. But really, c’mon. Give me the highlights from your dating resumé.”
HELEN: “I dunno. I like wine, I’m interesting…” (She genuinely seemed uneasy as she searched her memory files…)
CARLOS: “I’m not trying to be a jerk. I think you’re great, but that’s not what will sell this guy on Helen. You dig?”
HELEN: “I’m starting to…”
CARLOS: “Do you know what the number one indicator for a guy is that he’s found a high quality candidate to date?”
CARLOS: “It also happens to be the most important signal to him that he needs to switch on his ‘chase her‘ attitude.”
HELEN: “Wow… what is it?”
CARLOS: “It’s not your body. Or your hips. Or how quickly you’ll sleep with him.”
HELEN: “Yeah, yeah – what is it, Carlos?”
CARLOS: “Let me ask you this: What have you bought for yourself in the last month?”
HELEN: “Hmm… a few pairs of shoes… a coffee maker… some new mascara…”
CARLOS: “Important stuff…”
HELEN: “Okay, wiseguy. I got a few books from Amazon.”
HELEN: “Yeah, why?”
CARLOS: “Better than nothing, I suppose.”
HELEN: “I also bought a jumprope.”
CARLOS: “Okay, now we’re getting warmer.”
HELEN: “What do you mean?”
CARLOS: “How much of your income this past month did you spend on investing in yourself? On making yourself a better person?”
HELEN: “Well, like I said, the jumprope…” She was starting to look sheepish.
CARLOS: “About $20, maybe?”
HELEN: “Yeah.” She shrugged, breaking eye contact.
CARLOS: “I think you see where I’m going with this. I’ve worked with countless clients – and every time I ask them what they’re doing to make themselves smarter, more fit, more valuable to a possible partner, I hear crickets.”
Helen just blinked, no response.
CARLOS: “Yup, just like the ones we’re hearing now. So when I ask you why this guy SHOULD like you back, you expect it to just happen, like you’re entitled to have men like you instantly for no other reason than you’re within his field of vision.”
HELEN: “You’re lucky I like you…”
CARLOS: “You might not after I’m done.”
HELEN: “I’m starting to think that, too.” She smiled.
CARLOS: “I’ll tell you what I tell all my clients. Especially the ones that write emails that go on forever, expecting me to just hand out free coaching to them because they got their heart broken recently.”
HELEN: “What’s that?”
CARLOS: “I don’t invest in women who won’t invest in themselves. And funny enough, that’s the biggest signal to a man that he’s met a quality woman. He sees that she values herself enough to invest in herself.”
CARLOS: “I’m happy to send a word of encouragement or a tip to a woman who owns one of my programs. But not to people who are just looking for some ‘free advice’ that they probably won’t even use. If you want that, go buy a mindless vanity magazine from the grocery store.
“I don’t deal in entertainment. I show women how to make a REAL difference in their dating life.”
HELEN: “You mean those magazines don’t have good tips?”
CARLOS: “Those magazines are there for one reason only. To get you to buy next month’s issue. It’s all fluff. If they put real information in there that really worked, you wouldn’t need to keep buying them. Except for the fashion stuff, I guess.”
CARLOS: “I know. Which is why I don’t invest in women who won’t spend a few dollars to really GET men. Understand guys, and finally find out how to unlock a man’s heart. They’d rather spend a hundred dollars on shoes – something that guys don’t really care about – than spend half that money on a course to get her love problems solved.”
HELEN: “Yeah, that makes sense. I know that if I pay for a gym membership, I will actually GO and work out. I’ve got some skin in the game, as they say.”
CARLOS: “Exactly! You ever notice how a teenager who bought their own car keeps it clean and takes care of it, while the one that got a car as a gift doesn’t?”
HELEN: “The one who got it as a gift doesn’t appreciate it.”
CARLOS: “YES! There’s an old saying: Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.”
HELEN: “What’s that really mean, anyway?”
CARLOS: “Everyone wants the goodies, but no one wants to commit to earning them. Nobody wants to pay the price.”
CARLOS: “I get women who ask me for advice all the time, looking for a freebie. I don’t mind their asking as much as I really dislike how they will proceed to argue with me over what I’ve told them. As my old sales mentor used to say, ‘If you ask for my advice, it’s because you’re probably not successful getting what you want.’
“So you better use my advice, because I’m the one who’s got what you want. Youtube is full of wannabe smarty-pants who think they know it all. Just read the comments. Or … better yet, don’t.”
HELEN: “Sounds kind of arrogant.”
CARLOS: “It isn’t arrogant if you can deliver. Besides, people ignore the truth because they don’t like the source. It that doesn’t change the fact that I know how to get them what they want. I know the password to get them into his heart. I should, I’m a guy – and my wife did it to me. She hit the bullseye.”
HELEN: “So what is this password you talk about?”
CARLOS: “I’m glad you asked… It sounds like you’re finally ready to start investing in yourself.”
HELEN: “Yeah, I am.”