What are the signs a married man is in love with you? Well, I’ll be straight up on this one: Because this subject is taboo and it’s not for the faint of heart…
It’s when a guy who’s already married starts to show interest in you. It’s when men cheat. But at the same time, if you’re reading this article, you’re probably – dare I say it – kinda hoping for a little of that interest?
Attraction can happen at any time and any place...
You know it’s messing around in a place you don’t want to go. Like when a married coworker starts to show interest. Attraction can happen at any time and any place… I mean, think about it: You spend upwards of 8 hours with some of the people you work with, and usually less with your own family during the week. It can get very intimate.
I have a close relative who was once seeing a married guy – ironically right after she got divorced from a husband who had… well, cheated on her. Go figure. So whatever the situation may be for you, you now have a situation to deal with.
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So how do you handle the possible signs a married man is in love with you? Let’s take a look – starting with:
Sign #1 A Married Man is Falling for You: He hides the band…
You know that little gold or silver ring married men normally have on their left hand? You might see it catching the glint of the sun in a few of his social media pictures. Or when married men are at certain places with … her.
But when he’s able to just hang out with you, for whatever reason that ring keeps disappearing.
You might even see that telltale line on his finger… slight tan line. Of course he’s going to feel a little guilty and weird about this attraction, as you probably do. So taking that visual reminder out of the picture is a way to alleviate some of that feeling.
And the ring makes him feel like there’s an invisible tentacle of “wife” there watching him. And POOF! He’s single!
Let’s be clear here, though: He’s not necessarily going to act on this feeling.
So, you know that this guy is married. And when you see his social media photos, he always has his wedding ring on. But whenever he is with you, it is like his ring has suddenly disappeared and you keep wondering why that is so.
If the guy is in love with you, he probably feels guilty about it. He is also scared that his wife will find out about his feelings. When he has his wedding ring on, it serves him as a reminder that he is a married man who shouldn’t allow himself to feel or acknowledge any romantic feelings for some other woman because he has a wife.
Another reason is that when he has his ring on, he feels like he has a part of his wife together with him.
And POOF! He's single!
This ring probably makes him think of her and everything he is doing and that is the last thing he wants. But when he takes the ring off, it helps him forget his status and he subconsciously thinks he is free to court you.
Another possibility is that he doesn’t take his ring off when he is with you but that he constantly plays with it without even being aware of it. If he does that, it is probable that he hasn’t reached a decision about whether or not to act on his feelings for you just yet.
If his marriage isn’t a happy one, sure, it could happen. But most likely he’s just looking to flirt and play with that kind of romantic energy every once in a while.
We ALL want to feel desired.
And it’s probably been years since he felt that initial thrill of new attraction with a woman. Married women do this sort of thing all the time. (I should know, I liked to flirt with them, too.) When the wedding ring disappears it lets him play with the notion that he is free to flirt.
It always comes down to whether or not his flirting will be acted on when the time comes, of course. Which brings us to:
Sign #2 Married dude is flirting: He gets closer…
If someone has feelings for you, his body language will be the first thing that will give him away. One of the signs that a married man is in love with you is the physical contact he tries to have with you all the time.
If you encounter this man at work or in a group of friends, he will make sure to sit or stand next to you. When he talks to you, he will touch your shoulder or your hand and when the two of you greet, he will want to hug you or at least kiss you on the cheek. He mimics your moves and he always stands with his feet directed toward you.
This man obviously has a secret crush on you but he is aware of his marital status and is not sure if he stands a chance with you.
However, his body has an urge to be close to you and touch you and he can’t control it. Besides, he wants you to get used to having him close to you, because he hopes that will make you fall in love with him.
Body language is inescapable. When we’re into someone, we definitely act differently than we do when we’re just friends with them. You’ll feel that magnetic pull of wanting to get closer to that person, on the chance that you might come in contact with them… feel that static charge of skin on skin.
“One of the signs that a married man is in love with you is the physical contact he tries to have with you…”
If you’re out and about, he will make it a point to be near you, often intruding on your personal bubble. If you ever find yourself excited by the sudden change in distance to him, chances are he moved closer intentionally.
When he talks to you, he’ll make it a point to touch your arm or shoulder. (Most guys will avoid the hand – it’s far too intimate too soon.)
He probably has a secret crush on you, and probably wants to know if he actually does have a chance with you. (Whether or not he decides to act on it.)
Remember that the body works on a different frequency than the mind. So his subconscious desire for you will act out with his body language.
You’ll also see him mirroring your body language – facing you, pointing his hips toward you, leaning in, etc.The one thing you can be sure of is that his body is keeping the score – and it will show if he’s falling in love with you by how he lets these “tells” out.
Sign #3 Married dude wants you: He starts unloading…
If a married man is falling in love with you and especially if he wants to act on it, he is very well aware that his feelings are not something he should be proud of. So, he will do whatever is in his power to justify himself.
Therefore, he will probably talk to you about his marriage. And let’s face it – married life is hard for a lot of people. He will open up to you about all the alleged problems he’s been having with his wife for years.
Does he share his feelings like he would with a therapist...?
He will tell you that the two of them don’t share any common interests or goals. He will lie to your face that he hasn’t been intimate with her for years. According to him, he is almost single and the only thing that connects him with his wife is a worthless piece of paper.
He presents his marriage as a formality, because he wants you to think that he would leave his wife in no time, if you just gave him a chance.
This man will open up to you about other things as well. He will talk to you about his past, and his dreams, hopes and desires.
But be careful as none of it is probably true, he is only telling you everything you want to hear. Of course, it is unlikely that he’ll be frank about his intentions with you.
Instead of confessing his feelings to you, he will tell you that there is no one who understands him and that he just needs someone to hear him out. He has found a friend, a shoulder to cry on, in you but actually, his only goal is to get under your skin so that you grow feelings for him before you know it.
The reality is that many people (both men and women) in a relationship or marriage are not getting their emotional needs met. This is simply due to the fact that they are not working on their communication, and have no idea how to foster that kind of real-world intimacy. Yes, ladies – this means you, too.
Women relate easily to women, and men to men. If a married guy is falling in love with you – especially if he wants to act on it – he’s very aware that his feelings aren’t something to be proud of. Quite the opposite.
Does he share his feelings like he would with a therapist…?
But he also will feel the pull of his emotions near you. He’ll want to start opening up to you and telling you what’s going on with him emotionally.
Men have a habit of being vulnerable this way to a woman to signal her that she’s “special” to him.
He’ll also start complaining about his wife in detail…
To get sympathy…
To see if you are also going to move in to take over for her – thus showing your interest in him
He’ll tell you that the marriage is “dead,” “sexless,” “over,” or a million other things…
He’ll tell you about his past, his desires, his plans… all in hopes that you’ll fall in love with his potential…
But you have to be wary that he will not verbalize that he’s a married man falling in love with you. He’ll skirt around that to see if the interest from YOU is there first.
Sign #4 Married dude wants you: The monkey starts to dance…
Men live to please women.
This is a fact that most women are not taught these days. I was very surprised to find that moms are rarely talking to their daughters about how men work. This explanation was something that has been done for countless centuries. And now that it’s not happening, women are having a tough time understanding men.
I guess that’s where I fit in!
I know... It's not a monkey, but you get the drift.
So let me be very clear with you that men do live to make women happy. It’s a priority for us.
Hard coded in our wiring.
Even more for men who are the “true gentleman” type.
When a guy starts acting like a dancing monkey to impress you and make you happy, there’s a good chance this married guy is in love with you and looking to act on it.
When he starts checking in with you to see if you’re okay, he’s starting to fall for you.
When he asks if anything is wrong, or if anything is bothering you, that’s another clue…
There exist men who are true gentlemen in all situations. It is in their nature to be polite to every woman who crosses their path and it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that they have feelings for these women. But if a married man goes out of his way to meet your needs, it is a sign that you mean something more to him.
This guy will take care of you, he will be worried about if you are OK in every situation.
He will worry whether you have had enough sleep, if you are tired or if there is something bothering you. This man wants to protect you and to show you that you have his support, no matter what.
Of course, it is possible that he is just being friendly and polite but if he puts in extra effort to take care of you, it is probably because he is in love with you and he does it in order to gain your love. He wants for you to perceive him as a reliable man who will never leave your side.
This guy will show you this in numerous ways; he’ll start with little things, like being the first one to offer you a ride home and bigger things such as helping you with more serious life issues. It is likely that he doesn’t know how to get closer to you, so he wants you to perceive him as a friend and he wants to become the first person you’ll call whenever you are in trouble.
When a guy puts in effort to be polite AND works to please you, he might also start doing this next sign –
Sign #5 Married dude wants you: He goes out of his way…
When someone has romantic feelings for you, it is perfectly normal that this person wants to spend as much time with you as possible. But, when that someone happens to be married, he knows he can’t just ask you out as if he were single.
Therefore, one of the signs a married man is in love with you is his excuses to make any kind of contact with you. This guy will use every opportunity he gets to talk to you or to be near you. He will try to initiate any kind of communication with you. He’ll probably start with some casual topics and small talk, with the intention of deepening that communication.
Is he trying to impress you...?
This man is interested in you and he wants to get to know you better and at the same time, he wants you to get to know him. Besides, he will always have an excuse as to why the two of you need to see each other. He’ll offer you his help just to spend time with you and he’ll ask for yours.
If he is truly, deeply in love with you, it is possible for him to start showing up at places where he expects to see you. This man doesn’t want to be out of your sight, because he hopes that you’ll fall in love with him if he becomes a part of your life.
In other words, when he realizes that he’s interested in you – and this married man may be falling in love with you – he’s going to start making it a point to go out of his way for you.
How a man, married or not spends his time is directly correlated with what is most important to him. If he wants to spend all of his free time with you, this is a good indication that he sees you as “the other woman”.
But what does this mean for you exactly?
Well, he’s trying to do a few things…
He’s trying to please you (we already talked about this)
He’s trying to demonstrate his value as a mate – All animals on this planet do this…
He’s trying to look good in front of you – He wants you to see him in the best light…
He makes excuses to talk to you and to see you – Since he can’t ask you out, he will do his best to find ways to get time with you…
Is he trying to impress you…?
Some of the indicators you might catch are:
– He’s dressed nicer when he’s around you
– He’s wearing cologne – or just smells good
– He’ll also preen and adjust his appearance to maximize it for you
The one clincher – the all-time granddaddy when it comes to signs he’s starting to fall for you, though – is when you can tell he’s starting to get jealous of other guys.
He knows he’s falling for you, but he really can’t show it. And he’ll be threatened by any guys that show interest in you. He may even try to convince you to break up with your guy for reasons that sound a bit weak. Maybe pointing out flaws that just don’t sound very good or even accurate.
Look, I’ll be straight up with you: Don’t court married men. Don’t get involved with them.
Let these guys pull some other unsuspecting woman into their flytrap of discontent.
If he’s really not getting any sex or good times from his wife, getting less from women OUTSIDE his marriage will give him more incentive to do the right thing and leave his marriage.
How to Avoid Having Feelings for a Married Man
It’s true, that most women who find themselves on the receiving end of a married man’s affections, didn’t set out to fall in love with a married man. It’s a lonely path – being alone on holidays and weekend nights while he’s spending time with his wife and kids.
When you find yourself faced with feelings of attraction for a married man, it’s time to take a serious look at the situation you are in and move in the opposite direction.
Why do you want to be involved with this man? Is it the excitement of being with someone who is “off limits”? Discover your motivation and take a hard look at your inner issues so an unattached man is more appealing to you rather than the unavailable married man.
The reality is, this is not just your life and his life you are playing with. When the dust settles, if it ever does, you will be living with the consequences of the affair whether or not you marry him, and your reputation with family, friends and co-workers will likely suffer – and you will be the center of gossip behind the smiles.
Taking a realistic look at your future may now look far less appealing.
Can he truly give you what you need, or is taking what he needs? Ask yourself how he can meet your need for honesty and openness if you started your relationship on lies and sneaking around?
But if you won’t listen to me, you’ll probably want to know the secret ways to make a man feel obsessed with you…
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