Reading guys is tough enough - but the best insurance a girl can have is knowing the signs he just wants to hook up with you. That there's no chance for a relationship.
Wouldn't that save you so much time and heartache?
Have you ever been on a date with a guy, and the chemistry is just so... YEAH, baby!
But then there's that suspicious little voice in the back of your head that's wondering if maybe he's just looking for a quick hookup.
Some women think there are only 2 kinds of guys - the ones that want to hookup, and the ones that want the REAL deal.
This is an oversimplification. It's one of the reasons many women miss out on a lot of drop-dead-easy opportunities to snag a real catch.
(And another reason to get your dating advice from a man who knows what men REALLY think. Not a bunch of theory from someone who ... ahem, isn't a man.)
Now, of course, it goes without saying that if a one-night-stand is fine with you, then by all means, go for it. There's nothing wrong with the occasional fling, right?
BUT - if you let yourself become merely a booty call for him, you'll discover that it's much harder to turn that hookup into a relationship later on.
Don't try luring the fish with the bait, and then try to pop the hook into his mouth.
As my friend JC says, "Oh, NO - he don't play that game, girl."
If your goal is to harpoon your guy and get him into the boat, you can do that without trickery or head games. There are plenty of guys looking for a girlfriend and the whole enchilada.
What I'm going to show you here is how to avoid the ones that ONLY want a night of fun.
Hook-up Only Sign - 1) He's calling you up regularly late at night
Let's face it - some guys are just trying the lottery. They call you at the odd bedtime hours hoping to catch you in a horny state.
To be fair, sometimes this strategy works.
As the saying goes, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
But if a guy is only calling you up asking if he can come over, and it's always at the late odd hours, it's pretty obvious he's just trying to test the waters for sex.
Also, if he's never actually taken you out on a date of any kind, or doesn't at least offer to meet you in place that is not 10 feet from your bedroom or his...
Yeah. You know.
One Night Stand Sign - 2) He's not really interested in YOU
Sure he's hot for some action, and his hands are in non-stop exploration mode. In fact, you're probably getting really turned on by his interest in you.
Women are often blinded when a man comes on strong and makes her feel powerfully desired.
But unless there's a little intellectual probing going on - where he's asking about your likes, your dislikes, your favorite movies, your favorite wine, etc...
If he isn't digging deeper into your life and personality, that's because he only wants to stay on the surface.
He doesn't need details and is probably trying to keep some distance to avoid things getting complicated later.
If he's not asking you about who you are as a person, he's probably just looking for some quick action.
Only Looking For Fun - Sign 3) Always on the prowl
Does he flirt and get a bit bawdy with you, but then he's also flirting with other women everywhere you go? This is a guy who might date you, but will not be settling anytime soon.
And how does he act when he's 'caught'?
If he's not really focusing on you and flirts with other girls - even when he knows you’re there and you can see what's happening - then that’s him telling you, “I’m just not serious about us”.
Some guys just can't seem to let go of their need to be in demand. Call it ego, call it low self-esteem, call it childish...
Remember that it's not your job to change him.
Only to find the guy that's ready and willing for something more. Because that's the only kind of guy you can create a real relationship with.
You're Only A Friend-with-Benefits - Sign 4) Avoids all that "relationship stuff"
If you're sending texts in the morning and not getting any response from him, there's usually two possible reasons: He's one of those guys that just doesn't pay a lot of attention to his phone (perhaps genuinely busy) - OR - he's trying to keep a certain level of distance from you.
He's thinking: "Hmmm... if I get going on a text conversation with her, then I've got to pretend to be really interested in her day. Then when I text later, we've now got OTHER stuff to distract us from getting horizontal. Gotta keep this simple."
This "avoiding relationship stuff" pretty much means avoiding all patterns that might hint that you two are an item.
- Doesn't introduce you to family or relatives...
- Doesn't introduce you to friends...
- Doesn't take you out much if at all...
- Rarely, if ever, initiates contact...
- Won't stay the whole night to cuddle and whisper pet names in your ear...
- Won't add you on social media - this one is particularly big. Even hookups are usually friended...
- No prolonged time together - like going away for a weekend somewhere...
- Avoids pet names - no "honey" or "sweetie" or any of that. After all, we all know the feeling that comes with a term of endearment. And if he's just having fun, he's probably not indulging in fantasies of a relationship.
- Another sign might also be if you notice that the sex leaves you a bit wanting. This is because he's not all that concerned about your satisfaction. This isn't always true, since most men do consider part of their "performance" to be your pleasure.
But if he's just not into making sure you're getting yours, that's a clear sign of BOOTY CALL. After all, in a loving relationship, you both want to make each other happy.
You're His Booty Call - Sign 5) He's telling you straight up.
If he's told you that he's only into it for the fun times, and he says he's not into a relationship right now, he's probably giving you all the hint you need.
Especially if he refers to you as a "friend with benefits" or any other term, jokingly or otherwise.
He may even be open about seeing other people. There's a good chance he'll make it a point to hint or tell you this so that you don't get any wild ideas about wanting more from him.
Sometimes the obvious is just too obvious to ignore.
Look, the one thing you have to be able to do is take the emotions out of the situation and be able to look at things with a cold critical eye.
No matter how much you may like a guy and want him, that's not enough to get him to feel the same about you.
Very often we become convinced that if the other person just knew how we felt about them, or the depth of our love, they would somehow make a spontaneous decision to be attracted and fall for us long-term.
Sorry... it just doesn't work like that.
If you truly want more from a relationship, then you have to hold out for a man that can give it to you. Find the strength within you to do what needs to be done.
Sometimes that's walking away from a guy you think is "perfect" in every way.
Don't ignore the signs that he's just not that into you.
Yes, men can have sex without love or attachment, and then just move on like nothing happened. That doesn't mean that they are bad or evil or even "dogs."
On the other hand, there are guys that are just looking for a hookup. AND - and this is huge - just because he's looking for a hookup doesn't mean he isn't open for MORE than just that.
If he's younger and obviously into his singles life of fun and sexual adventure, let him go. He's probably not worth salvaging.
But if he's a guy who has a past of being able to commit - perhaps with a bit of serial monogamy - than maybe it's in your best interest to stick around a little while longer and see where this thing goes.
But recognize that you are taking a calculated risk! He doesn't owe you anything for your devotion - or your patience.
If you choose this path - and many women do, and succeed - you can't let yourself become bitter if it doesn't pan out. Especially if he's communicated a desire to be single or unencumbered with a relationship.
Remember, his desire to not be in a committed relationship is part of what can drive you to want his commitment.
That thrill of having what you can't have. SO be prepared for this, and know that YOU might not even really want a relationship with him.
It could just be his scarcity is triggering your desire to conquer him.
But what if you could turn the tables on a guy and make HIM feel that scarcity? Then he'd be the one wanting to chase AND conquer YOU.
What if you could turn that guy with the potential to commit into someone who wants to go the whole nine yards with you?
To some women, pulling a guy out of the "Friends With Benefits" zone sounds like an impossible feat. However, this free presentation I just put together says otherwise.
Pushing a guy over the edge - and into your arms - is completely doable. As long as you know how to trigger his Irresistible Desire, that is.
Check out my video here to learn more.