5 Ways To Make Men Chase You – After You Slept With Him
I’m going to get a lot of guys pissed off here.
They’re going to be unhappy with women finding out how men REALLY work. Especially when it comes to attraction and the dance of love.
Most men I know would be much more happier to hear that women are FINALLY starting to understand how we feel.
Take this for instance: There’s a song called “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”
Lately, this romantic and fun little Christmas song has come under fire for being kind of … sort of … maybe… a wee bit rapey.
So they recorded a new version that is about the dumbest update of a song I’ve ever heard. They even inserted a line about how he knows “She always has the ability to say no.”
Really? We need to actually SAY that?
There are men out there who will hear this song and suddenly correct their ways when it comes to sexual consent?
I don’t think so. Those guys don’t need to have any songs written to coddle their childish minds.
Now, my opinion is that this focus on “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is completely ridiculous. The recent wave of “political correctness” is trying to steal every ounce of fun out of life that it can.
We’re in over-correction mode, and free speech seems to be on the line as well.
The heart of romance is a certain level of uncertainty. And that is where chemistry and romance lives.
Consider the kind of world it would be if men were afraid to start conversations – because of their fear of being too “sexually aggressive.”
Trust me, you don’t want that kind of world. Because it’s a place where men stop chasing, and that means both sides lose.
Contrary to what you may have read in the “news,” the election in the US has had no negative impact on how men view women. A few comments that a reporter heard on the street while writing for a faceless blog doesn’t make it real.
Plus, you want men to chase you. Because if he’s investing time and energy into connecting with you, that means he will be that much more attracted to you.
But I don’t want to get off on a rant about this. And I also don’t want you thinking I’m in support of some kind of misogynist double standard.
I’m all for treating women with respect and civility.
Because you never know… you might need this sometime.
And, I want you to enjoy the life where men desire and want you, and you don’t have to run around chasing HIM.
Now – let’s get started with:
MAKE HIM CHASE YOU – 1: Be accepting… ALL the time.
There’s a made-up motivational poster that jokes: “It’s only annoying when the guy who approaches you isn’t attractive.” Which is kinda true.
It’s one of those unfair burdens that women have to bear, unfortunately.
Men have the burden of mustering his courage, braving possible rejection, and initiating approaches and conversations. Women have to try to be graceful when some clueless douchey dude decides to talk to you about your day.
But it’s one of those things you gotta do.
For one reason, it’s for the team.
If you want men to reach out and start those connections, you have to help create a climate that encourages men in this role.
Even if they occasionally come across like gorillas in the China shop.
Another reason is that it keeps you positive (mostly) and accepting of men. That in turn reflects in your energy.
If a guy senses that you’re already on your guard against the douches, he can – and will – change his mind about trying to start a conversation.
The “nice” guys you want are usually skittish about approaching and initiating contact with women. Hey, these days, can you blame them?
MAKE HIM WANT YOU – 2: No games – play it straight.
When it comes to your interest, being too coy will work against you.
Because this new social climate has already left men very ambivalent about reaching out to say hello and talk to you. If he encounters an ounce of discouragement, he’s going to interpret that as “NO MEANS NO!” and walk away.
Guys don’t get to be persistent and overcome your challenges the way they once did.
But more importantly is that you have to show up front that you’re not into game playing. Guys see through this behavior, and any kind of game playing will turn him off right from the start.
He’ll think it indicates a manipulative personality, and he’ll pass on any contact. Then he will wait and talk to the next woman who has open energy.
Remember another side benefit of him chasing you is that you get to see how much confidence he has.
So after you’ve ‘done the deed’ with your guy, don’t suddenly change your attitude and start playing hard-to-get.
When he texts you or calls you the next day, answer.
Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, but don’t resort to trickery to get him to stay connected.
MAKE HIM DESIRE YOU – 3: Stay sexy…
This phrase was burned into my brain since I first heard it from a woman I worked with back in the 90s.
All the women in the room were giving their advice to one who was about to get married. And my friend simply said, “Stay Sexy.”
It took me a while to completely GET what she was saying. But when I did, her words haunted me.
You gotta keep up the effort to make yourself the goddess in his eyes that he wants to see.
So after you spend the night that first time, work to keep up some of the mystique. Work to let him know that he’s valued.
Because a man interprets the effort you put into looking good as the amount of desire you feel for him.
And, if you “let your hair down” too early, he’ll think he’s got this all wrapped up. No need to work to win you over!
And that’s not the message you want him to hear.
GET HIM TO CHASE YOU – 4: Hook him in, but throw him back in the pond.
So when you’re enjoying that morning after, bask in the afterglow. Spend that time cuddling to build up some real connection with him.
But eventually, cut it off and send him home. That will give him the kick in the butt he needs to resume the chase again.
One of the biggest mistakes women make is to overdo the “I got him” phase. She tries to keep him around too long after that first night of fun.
You have to know when to boot him for his own good.
Nudging him back out sends a good message: That you both had a great time, and now he needs to get back to work winning you over ALL OVER AGAIN.
It tells him you’re not needy. And you’re not going to try and swindle him into a commitment just because you got down and dirty.
Be nice, but make sure there’s a boundary on the good times. No guilty feelings, and definitely no shame on your part.
Nothing but respect.
And if you’re saying, “Carlos, that sounds like game playing. Didn’t you just say to not do that?”
Game playing would be if you did this solely to manipulate his emotions. But you’re not that kind of woman, right?
You’ve got a life. You’ve got things to do, places to go, people to see.
KEEP HIM AFTER THE SEX – 5: No calls. No texts. No emails. LET HIM chase you…!
Another big mistake that I see women making is that – in their efforts to reconnect with him – they do want him to chase… but then she starts chasing him as quickly as she possibly can.
The morning after, she’s already on her phone, sending texts to soothe her insecure fears.
“Hey, whatcha doing?”
And guys know what that’s all about. We know you’re fishing for a little “are we okay?” feedback. Yeah, we know you don’t want to get married instantly, but we also don’t want that weird pressure.
You gotta LET a man have the room to miss you before he will chase you. Even if it takes weeks for him to figure out that he’s missing out on a good thing.
Because you can’t MAKE him realize that. It’s something he has to come to all on his own.
I don’t care how terrific the sex was.
He needs you to trust him to reach out if he’s going to continue the chase. And the funny part is that he WILL keep up the chase if he senses that you’re just fine without him.
Funny how that works, huh?
Match him text for text. Don’t send a message unless he sends one – and don’t volunteer more information than he asks. Leave that until he asks you out again.
You don’t have to be cold or distant, just don’t go out of your way to get in contact first. Don’t chase!
Make yourself unavailable, stop reaching out, and WHAM! Suddenly he’s reaching out to you, asking what you’re doing this weekend.
There’s a lot of confidence and power in this method – not to mention self-respect.
And if you’re wondering, “But Carlos – what if he never calls?”
Then he was never that into you to begin with. And if he responded to your chasing, you would have been chasing him until he finally dumped you.
So it’s better this way.
It’s a statement of self-respect that you can’t afford to NOT make.
Look, being irresistible is about tipping the scales of power just enough in your favor.
We want to know that we’ve “got” you – yet we also want a WOMAN, not a mouse.
Guys are weird that way.
More than ever, men know you’re your own person and don’t have to rely on anyone for a sense of self-worth. Believe me, the quality guys out there don’t want a pushover.
We WANT to feel that resistance from you. Your inability to take crap from anyone is what TURNS us on.
At the same time though, the fact that you’re ALLOWING yourself to be vulnerable around us is JUST as tantalizing.
So what you really need is to strike that balance between nice and bitchy. And what we’ve covered today is your introduction to that – but only one part of the picture.
If you want to wield the TRUE power of your irresistibility, here’s a short video I made that teaches you how to be worshiped and adored by your guy – or any guy for that matter.
No, I’m not exaggerating.
My free presentation talks about my friend Kate who managed to turn her love life around after being dumped by her husband for another woman. Brutal stuff, really.
This was the man she had spent a shade of a couple of decades together and had kids with. But none of that mattered when he suddenly walked out on her and their marriage.
However, she bounced back from her miserable situation and found the love of her life.
Kate used the secrets in my Irresistible Desire course and rediscovered the power that ALL women have. It helped her blast away all her innermost fears and insecurities.
You know what I’m talking about – it’s that voice in your head telling you that you’re not good enough. But being irresistible means doing away with all of that FOR GOOD.
If you want to find out how she changed her “Forever Alone” status to “Forever Blissful”, click here to check out my video now. It’s the key to renewing your self-confidence and turning into an unstoppable force of attraction.
- 1 I’m going to get a lot of guys pissed off here.
- 1.1 What I do want to do for you today is to share with you a few ways that you can make men want to chase you. Even AFTER you sleep with him.