Okay, let's be clear about this... If you want to make a guy want YOU, you have to demonstrate high value. This is called "D.H.V." in relationship terms.
D.H.V. = Demonstrate High Value
Let me explain... h There's a balancing act to getting a man to feel attraction. The more he thinks he's got you all won over, the less interest he's going to have. (To be fair, the same thing happens to you when you find a guy who's a little too "into you.")
Do you feel balanced?
It's a natural reaction to avoid people that we think need us more than we need them.
It comes from a part of you that wants to know that this man is STRONG. You need to know he's capable of keeping you safe if the chips were down.
Unfortunately, the culture in the world today seems to keep tilting towards having women believe that they don't need men.
Women DO need men...
And men need women...!
But we need each other for different things at different times. So let's drop the "I can do it all" act so that a man can feel like he can fit into your life.
No, don't act weak. Act accommodating.
But not TOO accommodating...
You see what I mean? It's a balancing act.
Don't be confused. I'll straighten this thing out for you here, as we go through:
How to make a guy want you - 3 tips...
TIP 1 - Make him want you like nothing else: Love Your Life...
This is probably one of the most overworked bits of advice you've heard, right?
"Be happy in your own skin first..."
"Love yourself, and he will appear!"
"Live your own life first..."
Blah blah blah...
Don't you just feel like slapping them when you hear it?
Well, it's true - but it does need some explaining...
First of all, what many of these sayings mean is that you don't want to set up shop in someone else's life just because you're not happy with your own life. If you do, you'll just keep finding the same problems coming up over and over again.
You have to start by getting rid of your own neurotic baggage first.
Let it go.
What many young couples don't realize is that they are often trying to avoid themselves when they get into a relationship. We blame the other person rather than stop after a breakup and take an honest inventory of what our contribution to the problems was.
Sure, we could blame everything on women being "needy," but that's not going to help you get the results you want. (It's also a bit too pat a response.)
Just get to work on the rough edges that you know come up in your relationships. It's not really too hard when you sit down and make a quick list of the areas you know are an issue.
- Tend to get jealous easily
- Don't like being criticized about my taste in movies
- I'm late a lot...
Not too bad for a starting point, and I'm sure we can all relate to those.
So what you do is pick out the first one as being a real roadblock to your past relationships. You know you act up when you feel jealous.
How do you get past your challenges?
What do you do about it?
Start by journaling a bit. Write down how that habit or weak area of your character has impacted your relationships in the past.
When do you typically get jealous?
What do you wind up feeling when jealousy hits you?
What insecurities does it point to?
How can you script something to remind yourself to be cool when it happens?
Believe it or not, this is the simplified process of what they call Cognitive Based Therapy - one of the most effective ways of getting past your inner roadblocks. And the beauty of it is that this is something you can do for yourself...
Without paying some therapist $100 an hour - or more - to do with you.
TIP 2 - Make him want you like nothing else: Be The Prize...
Earlier I mentioned how a man needs you to D.H.V.
Demonstrate Higher Value.
Let me clarify and expand that a bit...
When I say you need to "demonstrate higher value," it's going to sound a bit mercenary and not very ... well, not very loving.
But here's the gosh honest truth that I have to tell you:
(WARNING: Science up ahead!)
We are all attracted to people that we believe have higher status and social "value" than we do. Human beings learned this over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.
How are you giving value?
After all, if you want to survive in a small tribe of 150 or so humans, you have to have your social alliances STRONG. This was the way of life for people for countless thousands of years.
Hey, humans were pretty ruthless, but we managed to do pretty well.
So we developed a natural desire to associate and bond with people we feel are strong and will help us survive.
Okay, science break is over.
What this means to you is that if all other things are equal, a man will choose the woman he feels is the best PRIZE.
Men seek status through higher quality mates.
Yup, just like women do. (Only for women, a man's status is much more important. But we'll go into that another time.)
How do you make him choose you?
So you have to show him you're the Alpha Woman of the tribe.
Really, it comes down to this:
How would you behave if you knew you were the Prize?
What would your attitude and confidence be like?
How would you move?
That's the mindset you need to focus on acquiring right now.
Not later! Act the role you want to play this MINUTE, and not "someday."
It's a self-perpetuating cycle. You believe you're worthy, and you start acting it... which makes other people believe it and start treating you better. And your confidence goes up, and it's an upward spiral...
TIP 3 - Make your guy desire you like nothing else: Trigger His Fantasies...
This is the magic ingredient to the process of getting a guy to want you and fall for you.
It's probably no secret to you that if you can get a guy to just think about you and daydream about you when you're not around, he'll fall in love with you.
The weird fact of love and infatuation is that it happens mostly when you're not around!
Think about it...
When we're not with someone, we're WISHING we were. That tension in your mind creates a kind of crystallizing effect on our emotions. It makes them MORE vivid and intense.
Here's the real amazing part: His brain even goes to work on his emotions WHILE HE'S SLEEPING!
Be the woman of his dreams.
It's been long accepted that your unconscious mind works on problems and processes things while you're not aware of it. This is doubly-true while we sleep, where our dreams work out our emotional unrest...
Think about it - wouldn't it be great if you could trigger his subconscious mind to bond his love to you?
All it takes is knowing how to get him thinking about you...
And all that takes is knowing what words to use to get him fascinated with you.
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