How To Get Him Back – 7 Steps
How To Get Him Back – 7 Steps To Getting Your Ex Back
Sometimes love runs wild and free…. You get involved with a guy, and you have a wild and passionate love affair.
Sometimes love stalls. And there’s a “pause” in your relationship.
And sometimes love just comes to an end…
So how do you know what YOUR situation is?
I’m going to explain how you can better understand where you stand with him while you’re apart, and I’ll even help you press “PLAY” again on your relationship.
Before we get to the steps to getting your ex back, let’s make sure it’s a situation you can recover from.
There are two kinds of Break-up Zones:
- One of you says: I’m done, enough, go away… And you really mean it. You’re sick of it all. And you’re pretty sure you’re not in love anymore.
- One of you says: I’m done, enough, go away – but you don’t really mean it. You’re just kinda hoping the other person will finally appreciate and respect you again after you draw a line.
Obviously, #1 is not a good situation. If you’re in that zone, you’re in trouble. The good news is that if you don’t know if you’re in that zone, you’re probably not. There’s a lot of very certain emotions that happen in a real breakup, and you’ll know if it’s for real.
So now let’s talk about 7 steps to get your ex boyfriend to come back – and without looking desperate in the process!
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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Get Your Ex Back – Step 1: Confession is Good For The Soul
Yeah, we gotta talk… you know that you need to admit something…
You both had a hand in how things went down.
I say this because it’s tempting to get on the “I was right and you were wrong” bandwagon. Trust me on this: Blame will not work in your favor.
So be sure to validate what he says he felt in your relationship, even if you don’t entirely agree.
In HIS eyes, he’s right. (The same way you feel.)
He won’t start dating you again because you made him more wrong.
But it’s not ALL your fault…
You should also sit down and make a list of the things you both need to work on together.
What’s that? You want some suggestions?
- Communication – UBER huge, dude… I’ll bet any amount of money that there were plenty of things you both should have been talking about. Now’s the time to fix that…
- Communication. Yeah, seriously, I know you read that last one and just kind of “whatevered” it. You hear it all the time, but no one actually WORKS on their communication. You just keep going from relationship to relationship – hoping that the next person will not force you to change at all, because that’s what compatibility seems to mean. But really, work on the talk therapy.
Get Your Man Back – Step 2: Put Your Lariat Away
If you’re not a farmhand, you might not know that a lariat is the lasso used to rope cattle.
That’s how a lot of women try to get their man back – they try to get needy on him – or even compromise their boundaries and standards.
Sometimes… they beg.
If you look desperate, that will push him away – superfast.
Men are most attracted to women who have their act together, and being needy/desperate is the complete opposite.
So don’t try to convince him to come back. He has to know that you are fine without him before he’ll value you again.
Don’t be distant, because that will also feel artificial and weird.
But keep your posture and your dignity.
Pull Him Back To You – Step 3: Get Your Support Team Ready
One of the best things you can do is to get your lineup of tried-and-true gal pals ready to do the support work for you.
You want to have at least one good female friend that you can call when you have a moment of weakness. If you’re starting to sense that you might slip up and call him in a panic. Or message him, or whatever.
Having a woman who can “talk you down from the ledge” is essential to retaining your sanity.
Don’t worry, she’ll do it for you – if she knows you’d do it for her. Kind of like “I’d hold your hair!”
Make Him Want You Again – Step 4: Keep Your Eyes On The Prize
A big part of manifesting the relationship you want is keeping the attitude of the woman that deserves to get it.
You need to have a really clear vision of the kind of relationship you want to be in.
I suggest some journaling and some serious thought to this. Mostly because, if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll wind up anywhere the wind blows you.
EXAMPLE: Let’s say you want to spend your vacation in Bermuda.
If you push a boat off into the ocean, and just let the wind and currents take you wherever, what is the likelihood you’ll get to Bermuda?
Yeah, about zero. Or close enough to zero to make it absurd.
But if you get a chart, and a captain, and a motor and a compass… What do you think your chances are now?
Super good that you’ll make your destination in Bermuda, ma’am.
So why not apply that to your love life?
Why not get a chart and a captain?
I’ll tell you why most women don’t do that: They’re afraid that it will mean they’re cheating. Not cheating on HIM, cheating the game of LOVE. She didn’t let Destiny make love happen.
NEWS FLASH: “Destiny” is not responsible for lasting, loving relationships. PEOPLE are.
Sometimes destiny puts you together, but YOU are the one to make it work.
Make Him Come Back To You – Step 5: Make HIM Come A’ Knockin’…
One of the best ways to make sure that your man comes back to you with the right attitude is to make sure he comes to YOU instead of the other way around.
Yup, you want him to be the one asking you to give it another try…
There are a few reasons for this:
Reason 1: You’ll KNOW he’s still feeling the love…
You want him to demonstrate his feelings for you, or you’ll just always wonder if he just got back together because he had no other options.
Reason 2: You’ll be in a better position…
If he had to work to win you back, you’ll be in a better position with him. He’ll value your relationship more.
Reason 3: He’ll be reinvested in your relationship again…
You want him to work to get back in your arms so that he will appreciate what he’s got – AND he’ll be the one trying harder to keep you. The person doing the work is the one that is investing heart and soul in the relationship.
Eventually, you’ll start putting your heart back to work on your connection, but you want him there first.
You want him to be the one to reach out to you and initiate…
Make Your Man Come Back – Step 6: Avoid The Easy Mistakes…
There are a few mistakes every woman makes when trying to get her ex to come back, and they’re easily avoided if you know what to watch out for:
MISTAKE 1: Trying to use pity, guilt, or other emotionally manipulative tactics to get him back
Guys really hate this one. If you’re working his emotions – with or without tears – he’s going to feel like you’re just manipulating him to get what YOU want, and he’ll feel ripped off.
I’ve had women use this on me, and it made me run for the hills.
MISTAKE 2: Letting jealousy take over…
If he starts dating someone else during the process of healing the rift, you could be caught off guard. Especially if you create expectations that were not communicated clearly.
Which brings us to…
MISTAKE 3: Wild Mood Swings…
Wildly fluctuating mood swings, going from cold to aloof to nasty, all the way to sweet and loving – that’s going to weird him out. And probably make him feel very unstable in your connection.
You’re already uncertain enough where you are, so you don’t want to leave him feeling unbalanced.
If you feel those mood swings coming on, you should tap into your friend network and resources to keep you from obviously whipping back and forth between extremes.
You want to look stable and grounded to him, so you can put your best foot forward…
Get Your Ex Back – Step 7: WASH, RINSE – Do NOT Repeat…!
I’d be kidding you if I didn’t mention that all this work is for nothing if you don’t know how to KEEP HIM once you’ve won him back. I’ve seen many women get to the point of having him fall in love with her again, only to make the same dumb mistakes and lose him all over again.
The problem with these mistakes is how easy they are to make if you’re not aware of what they are – and just as important: where they are hiding.
There’s a very simple trick to keep a guy interested in you and desiring you.
You have to you be able to CONNECT to him on a level that no other woman can.
Connecting with a man takes a very special understanding of how guys think, and what motivates us.
I spent over a decade working with men on all their most intimate desires with women.
I worked with the guys who decided to get back together with her, and the guys that didn’t…
I heard their secrets…
What they wanted – and didn’t want…
And I’m here to tell you that I took a LOT of notes!
Can you imagine what that would be like?
If you could sneak a peek into the intimate details and the exact words that these men used when they revealed their most secret thoughts…?
- Would you like to get a look at all my notes and discoveries?
- Would you like to know what men are thinking about you?
I’ve got a great way for you to discover all this information…
I’d like to give you this key to connecting with men.
Connecting to YOUR man!
Because there’s a code to connecting to a man – in a deep and meaningful way…
Go watch this short video presentation right now…
You’ll learn the secrets of the stealth ways to connect with a man that will leave him eating out of your hands…