Dating Advice Guru Q & A: "How do I get the passion back?"

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

Sometimes marriages can cool off. You might find yourself wondering how to get the passion back. How to find the romance you once had.

That's what I'm going to address in today's -

Dating & Relationship Advice Question from a reader:

Hi Carlos,

I just read Connection Code. I have been losing interest in my husband over our 2 decades together. I feel like so many of the men you describe in your written content.

My husband has many good qualities and I feel bratty that I am now taking him for granted. We went through a period of at least 6 years where he took me for granted (in the past). I’ve been in therapy and recently another man has shown interest in me which has kicked my husband into high gear, he is making us travel plans, trying to understand me, going to counseling, bringing me chocolates, finding fun things to do.

I know it’s ridiculous at age 59 to start over when I have a good man wanting me.

How do I get my passion back for my husband?

- Anna

CARLOS' RELATIONSHIP TIPS ANSWER:

This is a great question, and thank you for posting it…

This is also a VERY common cycle that many relationships and marriages get into, yet few ever speak of. And that topic is Feminine Sexual Boredom.

feminine sexual boredom Dating Advice Guru Q & A: How do I get the passion back?

I don’t mean just sex in the way of sleeping with him – I mean in attraction. Period.

Look, the truth is that marriages beyond a few decades are not what we’re wired for. Up until a few hundred years ago, it was unlikely that you’d live much past your kids growing up and moving out on their own.

So having a relationship that lasts for many years WITHOUT a dip in attraction is the most likely thing you will face.

The question is: How do you get it back for him?

And the answer is that HE carries a good 50+% of the responsibility. If he’s a traditional “nice guy” who has taken his relationship for granted (and both men and women do this) then he’s going to have to really up his “alpha man” game to get you feeling the mojo.

I’m not going to kid you – this situation should be hit with a strong dose of TNT to get things to either move back into gear, or just end it.

By the way, is it so bad to end a relationship that’s not working anymore?

If there are kids involved, I always say that you should work to make it last until the kids are into their early teens.

You owe them that much.

Even mom and dad being basically roommates is better than the kids feeling the weird rift of divorce. Sorry, but this is proven to be a better alternative.

(And if you reply, “But Carlos! If the kids see our constant tension and fighting, isn’t that MORE damaging?” Yes – Except for the fact that your bickering and fighting is COMPLETELY controllable by mature adults. This situation usually becomes a cop-out for one or both parents to bail and attend to their own issues. Deal with it for the kids. But I digress…)

If there are no kids, then just move on with your lives. Make room for BOTH of you to find someone else who can meet your needs TODAY.

Relationships only need to be “FOREVER” when we pile our insecurities into the relationship as a way to soothe our crazy bits. We’re afraid of losing a person, but we forget that we lived a lot of our live WITHOUT them before we met them.

Ok, I’m all over the place here…

Look, if you can get back to dating each other again – and make each other WORK and CHASE each other – the way you did when you were trying to WIN each other, you’ll see some transformation.

Ultimately, there is a chance that your feelings of love have just flattened to apathy.

This happens frequently with women who wait it out in a relationship that isn’t working for her.

For now – remember that passion comes back not from sex, but full engagement in the activities you do together.

shared activity Dating Advice Guru Q & A: How do I get the passion back?

Go take a trip down the Amazon (the river, not the site) and have an adventure together. That’s the BEST way to revive that feeling of love again.

Building a connection with a man is easy enough in the beginning. The novelty of meeting someone new and the crazy chemistry going on is all you need to get into a relationship.

But what happens after you've been together for some time and the years have piled up?

You'll need to make sure your shared connection stays strong over the years (or decades) because ALL couples are at risk of drifting apart.

walking couple Dating Advice Guru Q & A: How do I get the passion back?

It WILL happen one way or another if you ALLOW it. But there is a way to prevent this, and that's figuring out your man's connection style.

Every guy has his unique way of connecting to his partner. Not only will knowing your man's connection style close that emotional distance between you, it will make sure neither of you will ever think about cheating ever.

This is pretty easy to learn how to do, and you can go ahead and check out my free video for more details.

CLICK HERE to get started...

 

UPDATED 10/8/2021

Carlos Cavallo's Dating Advice Guru Relationship Tips For Women
Carlos Cavallo - Dating Advice For Women

Carlos Cavallo Dating and Relationship Guru

FREE Report!

The 7 Mistakes Women Make That Make Men Pull Away...

  • The REAL Reason Men Run From Relationships...
  • How To Know If He's Still Interested In You...
  • Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out...
MORE
  • Take The Quiz!...
  • Listen to Carlos podcast

  • Carlos Cavallo's Relationship Tips

    Dating & Relationship Advice Published By:

    Morpheus Productions, LLC
    1115 Madison St NE #1047
    Salem, OR 97301

    1-888-414-0780

  • MOST RECENT POSTS:

  • Take The Quiz!
  • DATING & RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

  • DatingAdviceGuru Product Catalog
  • START HERE - RELATIONSHIP GUIDES:

  • featured program
  • More Articles

    Are You Smothering Him? Find out...

    When it comes to a relationship, there are signs you are smothering him. And like it or not, one of the things in life a girlfriend doesn't want to do is smother her partner. There are lots of reasons for this coming up in a relationship. But the most important advice for you to know […]

    Read More
    "How Compatible Are We?" - Find Out If He's Right For You!

    When you're looking for a life partner, the first question you need to ask is how compatible are we? Compatibility in a relationship will help you understand if you're right for each other. Yes, you can take a quiz to find out more about your compatibility. (I'll point you to my compatibility quiz in just […]

    Read More
    How To Kiss A Guy - Tips & Secrets No One Taught You!

    For most women, the first time you kiss a guy is important, because it's the first intimate contact you have with him. Let's talk about how to kiss a guy - and how to make him crazy for you when you do! Let's get real here - you're probably not a beginner. But you do […]

    Read More
    How To Start a Conversation On Dating Apps

    It's tricky enough talking to people in person, but what if you want to start a conversation on dating apps? How do you do it? After all there are a crazy number of apps out there for your phone, and even websites for those of you dating on your computer. Online dating is a huge […]

    Read More
    How To Apologize to Your Boyfriend

    It can be tricky to admit you're wrong. BUT if you made a mistake, you need to know how to apologize to your boyfriend (or your husband). It's an essential skill for any woman that finds herself needing to make amends. After all, anyone can make a mistake or act out of impulse and say the […]

    Read More
    13 Things You Should Never Say To a Guy

    It's probably pretty obvious but there are things you should never say to a guy. Some things are better left unsaid when all is said and done. One of the questions I ask all of my newsletter subscribers is, "What have you said to a man that you regretted?" And it's one of the most […]

    Read More
    What A Man Is Thinking When He Pulls Away

    What is a man thinking when he pulls away from you? Is he thinking about the relationship? Is he thinking about another woman? What exactly goes through a man's mind when he pulls away from the relationship? That's what were going to investigate here. The truth is going to surprise you. Very often a woman […]

    Read More
    The Best Cure For A Broken Heart

    If there's one pain that we experience that we would prefer to avoid it's a broken heart. But there is a cure for a broken heart, no matter how painful it may seem right now. But the most important thing you need to ask is, "Does my heart have to stay broken?" "Can I win […]

    Read More
    The 7 Attitudes Men Love About Women - Do YOU Have Them?

    Let's talk about the attitudes men love about women. A lot of people get this wrong, so it's really important for you to get it right. If you do, he'll find you irresistible. If you don't, you'll struggle. Let's look into the most irresistible attitudes for women - the ones men can't resist. And probably […]

    Read More
    How To Tell If He Likes You By His Texts

    So you're texting a guy, and you're wondering how to tell if he likes you by his texts. How do you really know what he thinks about you? It's hard to NOT read into whatever words he sends to you, after all. You finally exchanged numbers with that guy. You know the cute guy you […]

    Read More

    WHY HE STOPPED LOVING YOU...

    FREE EBOOK & VIDEO Shows you why you're not his priority anymore

    - The REAL Reasons Men Disappear

    - How To Know If He's Still Interested

    - Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out!

    Your Book is on the way... Check your email now!

    linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram