Dating Advice Guru Q & A: "How do I get the passion back?"

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

Sometimes marriages can cool off. You might find yourself wondering how to get the passion back. How to find the romance you once had.

That's what I'm going to address in today's -

Dating & Relationship Advice Question from a reader:

Hi Carlos,

I just read Connection Code. I have been losing interest in my husband over our 2 decades together. I feel like so many of the men you describe in your written content.

My husband has many good qualities and I feel bratty that I am now taking him for granted. We went through a period of at least 6 years where he took me for granted (in the past). I’ve been in therapy and recently another man has shown interest in me which has kicked my husband into high gear, he is making us travel plans, trying to understand me, going to counseling, bringing me chocolates, finding fun things to do.

I know it’s ridiculous at age 59 to start over when I have a good man wanting me.

How do I get my passion back for my husband?

- Anna

CARLOS' RELATIONSHIP TIPS ANSWER:

This is a great question, and thank you for posting it…

This is also a VERY common cycle that many relationships and marriages get into, yet few ever speak of. And that topic is Feminine Sexual Boredom.

feminine sexual boredom Dating Advice Guru Q & A: How do I get the passion back?

I don’t mean just sex in the way of sleeping with him – I mean in attraction. Period.

Look, the truth is that marriages beyond a few decades are not what we’re wired for. Up until a few hundred years ago, it was unlikely that you’d live much past your kids growing up and moving out on their own.

So having a relationship that lasts for many years WITHOUT a dip in attraction is the most likely thing you will face.

The question is: How do you get it back for him?

And the answer is that HE carries a good 50+% of the responsibility. If he’s a traditional “nice guy” who has taken his relationship for granted (and both men and women do this) then he’s going to have to really up his “alpha man” game to get you feeling the mojo.

I’m not going to kid you – this situation should be hit with a strong dose of TNT to get things to either move back into gear, or just end it.

By the way, is it so bad to end a relationship that’s not working anymore?

If there are kids involved, I always say that you should work to make it last until the kids are into their early teens.

You owe them that much.

Even mom and dad being basically roommates is better than the kids feeling the weird rift of divorce. Sorry, but this is proven to be a better alternative.

(And if you reply, “But Carlos! If the kids see our constant tension and fighting, isn’t that MORE damaging?” Yes – Except for the fact that your bickering and fighting is COMPLETELY controllable by mature adults. This situation usually becomes a cop-out for one or both parents to bail and attend to their own issues. Deal with it for the kids. But I digress…)

If there are no kids, then just move on with your lives. Make room for BOTH of you to find someone else who can meet your needs TODAY.

Relationships only need to be “FOREVER” when we pile our insecurities into the relationship as a way to soothe our crazy bits. We’re afraid of losing a person, but we forget that we lived a lot of our live WITHOUT them before we met them.

Ok, I’m all over the place here…

Look, if you can get back to dating each other again – and make each other WORK and CHASE each other – the way you did when you were trying to WIN each other, you’ll see some transformation.

Ultimately, there is a chance that your feelings of love have just flattened to apathy.

This happens frequently with women who wait it out in a relationship that isn’t working for her.

For now – remember that passion comes back not from sex, but full engagement in the activities you do together.

shared activity Dating Advice Guru Q & A: How do I get the passion back?

Go take a trip down the Amazon (the river, not the site) and have an adventure together. That’s the BEST way to revive that feeling of love again.

Building a connection with a man is easy enough in the beginning. The novelty of meeting someone new and the crazy chemistry going on is all you need to get into a relationship.

But what happens after you've been together for some time and the years have piled up?

You'll need to make sure your shared connection stays strong over the years (or decades) because ALL couples are at risk of drifting apart.

walking couple Dating Advice Guru Q & A: How do I get the passion back?

It WILL happen one way or another if you ALLOW it. But there is a way to prevent this, and that's figuring out your man's connection style.

Every guy has his unique way of connecting to his partner. Not only will knowing your man's connection style close that emotional distance between you, it will make sure neither of you will ever think about cheating ever.

This is pretty easy to learn how to do, and you can go ahead and check out my free video for more details.

CLICK HERE to get started...

 

UPDATED 10/8/2021

Carlos Cavallo's Dating Advice Guru Relationship Tips For Women
Carlos Cavallo - Dating Advice For Women

Carlos Cavallo Dating and Relationship Guru

FREE Report!

The 7 Mistakes Women Make That Make Men Pull Away...

  • The REAL Reason Men Run From Relationships...
  • How To Know If He's Still Interested In You...
  • Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out...
MORE
  • Take The Quiz!...
  • Listen to Carlos podcast

  • Carlos Cavallo's Relationship Tips

    Dating & Relationship Advice Published By:

    Morpheus Productions, LLC
    1115 Madison St NE #1047
    Salem, OR 97301

    1-888-414-0780

  • More Articles

    13 Things You Should Never Say To a Guy

    It's probably pretty obvious but there are things you should never say to a guy. Some things are better left unsaid when all is said and done. One of the questions I ask all of my newsletter subscribers is, "What have you said to a man that you regretted?" And it's one of the most […]

    Read More
    What A Man Is Thinking When He Pulls Away

    What is a man thinking when he pulls away from you? Is he thinking about the relationship? Is he thinking about another woman? What exactly goes through a man's mind when he pulls away from the relationship? That's what were going to investigate here. The truth is going to surprise you. Very often a woman […]

    Read More
    The Best Cure For A Broken Heart

    If there's one pain that we experience that we would prefer to avoid it's a broken heart. But there is a cure for a broken heart, no matter how painful it may seem right now. But the most important thing you need to ask is, "Does my heart have to stay broken?" "Can I win […]

    Read More
    The 7 Attitudes Men Love About Women - Do YOU Have Them?

    Let's talk about the attitudes men love about women. A lot of people get this wrong, so it's really important for you to get it right. If you do, he'll find you irresistible. If you don't, you'll struggle. Let's look into the most irresistible attitudes for women - the ones men can't resist. And probably […]

    Read More
    How To Tell If He Likes You By His Texts

    So you're texting a guy, and you're wondering how to tell if he likes you by his texts. How do you really know what he thinks about you? It's hard to NOT read into whatever words he sends to you, after all. You finally exchanged numbers with that guy. You know the cute guy you […]

    Read More
    Unhappy In a Relationship - How To Fix It

    When you're unhappy in a relationship it's one of the most difficult situations. When you've got relationship problems, everything else just seems to fade into the background, and you want to know how to fix it. You wish you had a Magic Pill that would turn your unhappy relationship into a healthy relationship. Whatever the […]

    Read More
    How To Get Over Someone You Love

    According to relationship experts, the best way to get over someone you love is to just "get over them". But, this is the worst advice ever for how to get over someone. Breaking up hurts. But it doesn't need to be constant suffering. If you want to know how to get through a breakup, that's […]

    Read More
    How To Get His Attention Back Fast - Without Looking Desperate!

    You can be in a real panic when a guy stops paying attention to you or ignores you. When you feel him slipping away, all you can think about is how to get his attention back fast - and without looking desperate. If you sense he has lost enthusiasm for you, you don't want to […]

    Read More
    How To Get The Spark Back In A Relationship - 8 Must-Read Tips

    Every relationship is awesome at the beginning. But it's also perfectly natural to have slow periods in your relationship. You may be wondering right now how to get the spark back in your relationship. Falling in love is easy when the feelings of passion and desire run high. Staying in love is a little trickier. […]

    Read More
    "My Boyfriend Won't Make Time For Me!" - 9 Tips To Be His Priority

    If you've ever been in a relationship where you want to get the attention you deserve, you might have found yourself feeling neglected and unwanted. You may have even told your friends "My boyfriend won't make time for me! What the heck should I do?" Let's tackle this tricky situation and give you the tips […]

    Read More

    WHY HE STOPPED LOVING YOU...

    FREE EBOOK & VIDEO Shows you why you're not his priority anymore

    - The REAL Reasons Men Disappear

    - How To Know If He's Still Interested

    - Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out!

    Your Book is on the way... Check your email now!

    linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram