Guys are often seen as stoic, silent creatures who "don't want to talk about it." If my coaching client calls tell me anything, it's that a lot of women struggle with getting their guy to open up about his feelings.
Strong, silent type...?
Like I've said in my past blog posts, men are often taught at an early age that losing their cool (i.e. showing emotions) is a sign of weakness.
It might seem like we're the unreadable Sphinx, but the truth is that we do have a soft and gooey center – if you know how to get to it.
(I just realized that sounds a bit gross...)
But the hidden, private part of him is reserved for that special woman in our life.
If you can crack the secret code to make him open up, he’ll know you’re "The One".
Text messaging is one of the ways you can tell a guy that you're the right girl for him - but indirectly.
Men are known for communicating in a straight-to-the-point, let's-not-beat-around-the-bush kind of way.
But not when it comes to dating and romance...
You're "The One"...
He won't say it (or even be consciously aware of it), but your guy is always be up for a nice, steamy session of text flirting. He lives for the thrill of the chase.
And beating around the bush is, in fact, a GOOD thing for both of you.
Considering the way a guy's brain is wired, sending him a well-crafted text message is just like throwing a match into a gunpowder.
Yes, your man is a powder keg of love (and lust!) that's just waiting for a chance to explode. Here are 10 of the best text messages to light his fuse:
#1: "My mind's been running wild with naughty, naughty thoughts all day…and it's all your fault"
Just like you, men want to be WANTED.
Most women want men to acknowledge their beauty and personality, but your typical guy is after a more sensual kind of longing.
Desire begets desire.
Your man needs to know that he's running through your mind harder than a triathlete gunning for the gold medal.
Make him race to the finish line...
When he's aware that you're ALSO thinking of him in an R-rated kind of way, you'll create a feedback loop that's directly wired into a primal part of his brain.
Naturally, he’ll push you to elaborate on what you just told him - the next step is to supply him with one detail at a time.
EXAMPLE: "I was thinking of the weight of your body pressing against me."
After you've texted back and forth for a while, wrap things up by saying "I'd love to keep this going, but I have to get back to work (or any other reason of your choice).”
You want to end it - and leave him wanting more.
Then, finish it off with:
“Besides, I'd rather continue this conversation face to face... I'll let you count the minutes until then :)"
How detailed you want to get is up to you. But if your conversations at this point aren't getting sexy yet, I suggest keeping the tone suggestive rather than using actual explicit words...for now.
#2: "I'm feeling like FedEx right now…because I'm interested in a certain package of yours "
Did you just indirectly reference a part of his anatomy?
Yeah you did - and he'll love you for it.
You know you want it...
Let me be totally blunt with you - a red-blooded man loves it when his woman "wants his biz".
The thought of a girl craving his manhood is all it takes to get him firing on all cylinders.
A man derives a BIG part of his masculinity from this part of himself, so he'll feel extremely gratified knowing that you want him in this very specific way.
Yet another flirty text - #3: "Nothing sounds better than hearing you say my name when you _________. I'll just let you fill in the blank :)"
Never underestimate the power of a horny man's imagination. We're first and foremost visual creatures, so give our mind's eye something to work with.
We're tantalized by what we can't (or want to) see. Give your guy's mind an excuse to work overtime, and he’ll create the perfect image to burn into his brain.
By letting him "fill in the blank", you're basically giving him a free pass to picture the two of you in the dirtiest situation he can imagine.
Trust me, he'll want to fill in those blanks in more ways than one... if you know what I mean.
Try this text - #4: "Wanted: sexy, handsome guy to supply love-starved girl with a steady shower of kisses. Generous perks and benefits await qualified candidates."
Send this separately: "Only one spot open... Let me know if you're interested."
Know what to send and when...
Pro tip: Your text messages don't always have to read like a page out of "Fifty Shades of Grey".
You don't have to sound like an erotica author all the time, and he'll appreciate you mixing it up with a little levity. Also known as FUN.
As much as he appreciates the raunchy stuff, shifting gears every now and then keeps you from being too “intense”. A dash of humor will break up the monotony, give him a nice chuckle and STILL keep the sexy vibe going.
(Oh, and feel free to customize this “sexy ad” text with your own “job description”.)
A good girlfriend knows how to tickle his funny bone… along with the other parts of his body.
Super texting - #5: “I was just thinking about the sounds we make when we’re alone together. It’s like a song stuck in my head and I can’t think of anything else.”
Guys aren’t just turned on by visuals. Supplying his brain with the right soundtrack is just as powerful and will complement his dirty daydreams.
Use audio and engage his senses...
#6: “I need to hear you say my name…especially when it’s out LOUD and you’re out of breath.”
As with the last text, planting strategic “audio clips” will have a HUGE effect on him – sometimes even more than the pictures in his head.
Give your guy the best snippets from the last time you got physical with him, and he’ll be craving you so much that it hurts.
#7: “Licking a lollipop right now, and I can’t stop thinking of you for some reason. I can’t put my finger on it…maybe you should come over and help me figure out why.”
And we’re back to visuals! I’ll admit some guys can be dense, but 99.9999% of men will immediately understand this text.
Trust me, this is one metaphor that WON’T fly over his head.
#8: “Just thinking about the way your tongue feels against my skin...great, now I need to freshen up down south... Care to help?”
Yeah, this one’s self-explanatory, so make sure you’re ready for what happens next when you fire off this little gem.
#9: “It’s freezing here and I’ve buried myself under a bunch of blankets. Not wearing anything was probably a wrong move.”
Not all sexy texts have to be graphic. In some cases, less is more and implying nakedness is a good way to pull this off.
It's all in the details...
Remember, sexual desire is like gravity...sometimes all you need is a little push and the rest takes care of itself.
Keep it to hints as much as you can. Guys like dirty when you're WITH him, but they prefer imagination when you're not.
#10: “I’m playing film critic today and found a movie online…but it’s a porn flick. Wanna watch it with me? Your input would be highly appreciated.”
“Playful” is the operative word when it comes to texting a man. Inviting him to watch porn is a guy’s secret wish, so you get extra points by being creative about it.
Of course, choose something that you genuinely DO want to watch.
Most of the time, turning him on boils down to a matter of pointing his mind in the direction you want. Give him the right material, and he’ll run with it.
Make the right connections to his heart and mind...
You probably know by now that it doesn't take much to get him started.
While sending him the right text messages is a step in the right direction, it’s only ONE PART of that special combination that will unlock his heart.
And by "combination", I mean cultivating certain behaviors, attitudes and habits that speak to your man in a way no other woman can.
If you want to be THAT girl in your guy’s life, I’ve found a way to simplify the process and take you to the quickest path to his heart.
For instance, did you know that you need to know how to match his connection style?
I've prepared a short video that will explain what his connection style is - and why it's critical you know this about him.
This is the missing piece in the love puzzle that a lot of women miss - and this often spells the difference between staying together and splitting up.
Once you've got this sorted out, turning a guy into putty becomes a matter of WHEN rather than IF – click HERE to watch this FREE presentation.