Beauty is only skin deep…? Really?
WARNING: This email has a shocking revelation in it. Please be ready for some earth-shaking and not-so-politically-correct talk.
If you’re easily offended, you might want to skip this newsletter.
You’ve probably heard that saying: “Beauty is only skin deep…”
And it’s mean sister saying: “But ugly goes right to the bone.”
Very often we get caught up in the trappings of beauty, without ever really discovering what beauty REALLY is for a woman.
After all, you’re sold a bill of goods when you’re growing up…
Every girl is a princess – just like in the Disney movies. And every man is a prince, waiting to come rescue you – whisk you away in his carriage and carry you away.
And marry you the next day.
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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Some women spend a good portion of their lives either angry that this fairy tale romance doesn’t really exist (at least not literally), or they fervently believe that it’s their destiny to have this become their reality.
They put their real lives on hold while they wait for their ‘prince’ to show up at their door.
I suspect you’re a different kind of woman…
You’re probably past most of that kid stuff, and you’re really looking for that guy that wouldn’t “save” or “rescue” you as much as “complete” you – in the HEALTHY way.
I really believe that it’s a good thing to find a person that complements (and compliments!) your life… That’s like a lego block you can feel comfortable snapping together with.
NOT a person you become reliant on to either give your life meaning – or depend on for your state of happiness.
But someone you find an essential companion on the road of life, that enhances your experiences and helps give them real meaning and depth.
That is the big difference between that old term “codependence” and the healthy kind of love you need most.
So back to what I started talking about here: Beauty.
What is beauty to a man?
Beauty is something to him that is *completely different* than what most women understand about it. (Stick with me here to the end, because what I’m going to share is going to surprise you…
Many women think that beauty is just a feature of a woman that helps her attract and draw a man in. Some women even believe that beauty is the most powerful trait they can possess in life.
Here are three things about beauty you might not know about – from a man’s point of view:
1) Beauty is hypnotic and often disabling for men.
When I say “disabling,” I mean that it has the incredible power to turn off a man’s logic and rational capability.
A man is often in awe of beauty as something that is almost mystical in a way. He can’t control it or explain it… even though a lot of men try to recreate it.
Which means that…
2) Men consume beauty.
To a man, beauty is like a wine. It’s there to be consumed and enjoyed.
Which is why so many men look at women all the time. Men are more visual than women (in some ways), and this is the way a man consumes beauty and things that he finds pleasing to the eye.
It’s not meant in disrespect to the woman we’re with – it’s simply the way a man takes pleasure in his world.
But wait before you make any decisions about what that beauty is… I have something pretty shocking for you coming up…
And here’s probably the most important thing about beauty to understand:
3) Beauty is not EXACT.
Beauty is not a quantifiable quality.
ALL women possess some form of beauty. Sure, there’s “popular” beauty – like the kind you see in magazines or with models.
But this one comes with a little bit of a myth to bust up here…
I’ll point it out through the use of a common misperception that many women have, and that is that all men want is a skinny runway model.
In real-world (not just imagined) studies, the most common body type that men search for on the Internet is…
Can you guess?
Women with a little meat on their bones. (Sometimes a whole bunch more…)
But still the media insists on these images of emaciated women with no curves to them.
Why is this…?
Believe it or not, there IS a reason for this.
Read this next sentence very carefully:
In any society, the popular image of beauty is always that which is *the most difficult to attain.*
In other words, we find the least common ideal to be the one we’re attracted to. There might be something about the scarcity and uniqueness of it.
(Review my section in Forever Yours on the power of this principle, by the way…)
At one time, the “ideal” or most desired appearance was the whitest, most pale skin. I know, it seems kind of gross.
But why was this the ideal of “beauty” at the time? Because if you had dark, tanned skin – which is the attractive option now – it meant that you were a common laborer, probably working the fields each day.
A peasant… ick!
Now that ideal has flipped, and dark skin implies that you have the luxury time to be able to be outside and gather the sun’s rays. Never mind that it ages you a bit prematurely.
The same is true with weight!
At one time, having a few extra pounds was considered the ideal, because there wasn’t a heck of a lot of food around in those times. And if you had the extra weight, that meant you were a person of means and privilege.
i.e., NOT poor!
So having those extra pounds was more difficult to attain, since most people were literally starving. (Funny, in a world of today’s abundance, now we’re starving ourselves on purpose…)
The funny thing about this “ideal” image of a woman is one that most women don’t realize that men have PROGRAMMED into their brains.
REALITY: Men are MORE attracted to women who are a healthy weight, with a few extra pounds, rather than this skinny stick bug appearance on magazines.
Those few extra pounds told our ancestors (who had no real ability to do genetic profiling or a lot of rational thinking) that a woman of a healthy weight weight was probably stronger, more physically resilient, and could bear children well.
Sounds kind of harsh, but that’s one of the “programmed” parts of a man’s sexual brain: “Is she going to be a good choice for mother of my children?”
Now we’ve got the opposite promoted on TV, magazine covers, and in the movies.
The truth is that this new skinny idea was created mostly by…
(Wait for it…)
The Crowd Gasps In Shock…
Yeah, I know. Not politically correct, but it’s been shown to be true.
Men are often blamed for this ideal, but it’s not the true sexual norm for men.
I have a sneaking suspicion that the “beauty” that is popular, and the “Beauty” that men really respond to, is NOT always the same.
The truth I’m talking about is this: EVERY woman has beauty! And it has very little to do with appearances. (I discuss exactly how to be the right “type” for almost any guy in the Forever Yours program as well…)
I suspect that in order to compete and make it more of a contest among women, very often the definition of beauty is made into a moving target. I’ll probably get a lot of irate emails about this.
Look, if it was only physical beauty that made you successful with men, why do all those gorgeous celebrities have such tragically drama-filled relationships…?
And so many are cheated on?
Obviously there MUST be another secret to the real sexual desire that men respond to.
But here’s the point that I want you to walk away with…
If “beauty” is mostly malleable – something we can define for ourselves – then it’s time you realized where your REAL beauty comes from.
It’s a simple two step equation:
1) Maximize your assets.
Exercise, do your best to eat right. And be reasonably fashionable.
2) Discover what the real “attraction” and desire triggers are for men.
So you can stop having to play the game of looking like someone you can’t (c’mon, no woman should even consider being as skinny as many of those models are) and don’t want to.
And you can start creating the kind of gut level attraction that men everywhere respond to…
And NEVER walk away from.
After all, beauty really is only skin deep…
But the kind of woman that radiates real sensual power knows that it radiates out from within.
If you’d like to discover the true source of all irrational desire in men, and make him yours forever, then you need to see this:
Yours In Perfect Passion…
– Carlos Cavallo
PS: If you’d like to learn the secrets that Jody wishes she had made, it’s not too late for you, either.