Dating Advice Guru - Relationship advice

How To Talk Dirty Text - Texting A Guy To Turn Him On

By: Carlos Cavallo
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There is a certain fascination with knowing how to text a guy to get him turned on. If you want to know how to talk dirty text, or just knowing how to text him so that he pays attention to you and desires you, that's what I'm going to cover here in this article.

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"He wants... ME?"

But first we have to lay some ground rules…

In order to text a guy and get him to pay attention, you have to be careful about not being too vulgar. When a woman is too dirty, she risks turning him off just as easily as turning him on.

There is a fine line between dirty and gross when it comes to texting guys. Let's talk about it…

How to talk dirty in text without turning him off…

Let's be honest: if it were up to you, you probably wouldn't be sexting a guy. You'd much rather have him telling you how he feels about you and how much he wants you.

Doesn't that sound much more interesting? Much more interesting than playing some kind of teenager game of "look at me!"?

The truth is you know that men need sexual attention to really pay attention. Which kind of goes against what you're trying to do.

As much as you hear the women's magazines tell you to be really explicit with a guy in text, if you do you're going to wear out your welcome quickly.

Here's why:

Men love the chase.

You already know this. But chances are you don't know how to use it effectively in this day and age.

Most women have been trained to be a little bit easy when it comes to showing sexual interest. But what a man really wants is to be teased effectively with your texts.

The less he gets the more he wants...

And if you keep putting sexual conversation out there, that's all he's going to think of you for. His booty call.

I'm pretty sure that's not how you want him to think about you. Well, not the only way for him to think about you.

Rest assured I'm going to give you some examples here. But they're not going to be crass or vulgar. They're going to be texts you can send to almost any guy and not risk scaring him off.

Because one of the things that men find a turnoff is when a woman changes her personality in different situations. And many women act sexy and flirty and aggressive when he's not around, but when he's with her she acts like a completely different person.

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Guys hate this when they're dating. And guys also feel betrayed when he marries a woman and she changes from the woman he knew when they were dating.

So take a second to really think about what your motives are for learning how to talk dirty in texts with him...

  • Is it to get attention?
  • Is it to get him to pay a lot more attention to you?
  • Is it to win him back?
  • Is it just to get him to respond to your texts?
  • Is it just to get him to talk to you - period?

Any of these reasons is fine.

If it's done to win-win the man.

What is "Win-Win the man"?

There are 3 ways any situation can turn out:

  • Lose/Lose:  This is when both of you come out worse at the end than when you started. I'm pretty sure you don't want this, and neither does he.
  • Win/Lose:  This is when one of you wins and one of you loses. Usually the one who wins did so because the other one lost. Unfortunately this is how a lot of people handle their relationships these days.
  • Win/Win: This is the ideal way it should work out. Both sides need to win - or nobody really won.

The only option you can choose is a win-win. No one wants to lose-lose, and win-lose is shortsighted and dumb.

So let's start talking about how to talk dirty in texts to guys…

Dirty Text #1:  Let's tell him about the girls...

One of the best text you can send is this one: "Did I tell you what I named my boobs?"

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It's very funny, playful. And there isn't a guy on the planet who wouldn't want to know.

Plus - you got him thinking about your boobs! Which is always a good thing.

HINT: Guys love boobs.

Dirty Text #2:  Dreamer...

One of the most important things you can do with a dirty text is to engage his curiosity.

NOT SATISFY IT!

When you have a man curious about you, he is thinking about you. Which creates crystallization in his mind.

Crystallization is when you embed yourself in his mind, making him think about you and fantasize about you. And this doesn't happen when you're near him, which may be a shock to you.

This happens when he is alone or not near you and wants to fantasize. Or just daydream.

Here's the text: "Oh my God you were in my dream last night…"

The secret trick to this text is that you send it, and then you wait for at least an hour to reply to whatever he sends back.

Because he's going to want to know details. He'll want to know what kind of sexy details were in the dream.

And if you give him the details too soon, you ruin the effect.

I guarantee you he will text you with: "What was it?"  Or something like that. He will push to get you to tell him.

And this text is also a good way to find out if he's really into you or not. If he doesn't show curiosity, he's not interested.

Let me say it again:

The point of a dirty text is to engage his curiosity - NOT SATISFY IT.

Dirty Text #3:  Foreshadowing...

One of the best things you can do is to give him a hint of something that will happen later. Just like in stories, we call this foreshadowing.

The kind of things you want to foreshadow are the things he wants to experience. Of course the best thing is fun, sexy time.

Here's a text that works like gangbusters: "Can't wait to see you later… Just wait till you see what I've got planned"

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All you do is hint at the naughty time you're going to have with each other. You don't have to be specific at all.

In fact, you do not want to tell him anything about what to expect. It should all be a nice surprise.

And he will forget about the text when he's in your presence again. So you can make up and do pretty much anything you want when you two get together.

What you want to watch out for are the guys who hold you to your text as if it was a contract to give him sexual favors. There are men out there who will use your texts against you to satisfy himself. These are the guys to avoid.

This text is also a great test to see what kind of guy he is. How does he handle your hint?

Dirty Text #4: More fantasy...

If you get the opportunity, you should always make him think about you. And it's so easy to do.

Here's another great fantasy text: "Do you think I should wear my skirt, or my tight jeans?"

What this does is it gets him thinking about you. He has to picture you to imagine you in the skirt or the jeans. And believe me he won't just stop thinking about you there. It will probably turn into a nice long daydream.

Of course his answer doesn't matter. It's what it does to his imagination!

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Keep his engine running...

BONUS: If you want to really use this tip, do the opposite of whatever he says you should wear. If he says skirt, dress in the jeans. Or vice versa.

A man wants to know that you have your own ability to decide for yourself. And when you make a choice like this for yourself in contradiction of him, he will consider it a healthy challenge.

And that challenge will create even more attraction in him.

Beware the guy that gets angered because you show your own initiative and willpower. He's probably a control freak.

Dirty Text #5: Give Him Some G.O.G.A....

GOGA is "Girl on girl action."

And of course it's one of every man's fantasies. Yes, that's why you see it so often in adult movies.

And it's a great thing to use in dirty texts to get a man's attention.

Try this text out: "Does the idea of me with another girl turn you on a little or a lot?"

Of course you're not committing to anything. You're just playing with the idea and the image.

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Three is the magic number...

And again, what you are doing is planting these seeds in his thoughts to grow huge orchards of fantasies and ideas for him to spend his time obsessing about.

Here's another text that triggers the same kind of fantasy thinking: "Threesomes? Good, bad, or other?"

Again, we are not looking for an answer with these texts. We're looking for the kind of thinking that gets him thinking about you.

Dirty Text #6: Fantasy - Again...

Here's another great fantasy text: "Have you ever heard of going 'commando'?"

Of course every guy knows what "commando" is. It's when you don't wear underwear under your pants. And it's kind of a guy term.

He will probably say that he has, and then you say: "Guess what I'm doing today?"

And again, for maximum effect don't respond to whatever he texts you after that. Let his imagination run wild.

In fact, most of texting a guy and getting him wanting you is knowing when to STOP texting him.

Dirty Text #7: Just Ask...

Here is another great one to start dialogue that can turn into a naughty sexting session:

"What is the naughtiest fantasy you've ever had? I dare you shock me?"

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"Hmm...?"

Of course don't text him this one unless you're prepared for whatever he comes up with. The worst thing you can possibly do is to ask a man a question, and then turn around and either shame him or make him feel bad about a truthful answer.

This particular text is great at starting up conversation in a way to start the flirting and sexual innuendo.

Dirty Text #8: Get Random...

A really powerful way to send dirty texts is to just text bomb him. That's when you send them something out of the blue that will make him completely turn his attention to you.

Here's an example: "Sometimes I just like the feeling of being face down on the bed, my face pressed into the pillow..."

Not only is that a great image for him, it will leave him thinking about it for days.

Dirty Text #9: Shock & Awe...

One of the most powerful ways to connect a man to  you is by making him feel like your best lover ever. And he never gets tired of hearing about it.

Remember that you don't have to tell him the absolute truth, but you do want to make him feel like he really is satisfying you. That's what he's looking for!

Try this text on for size:  "Oh my God… I can't walk right"

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Praising his ability to satisfy you in the bedroom is absolutely one of the best ways to get him addicted.

  • Or try this one: "You should teach lessons in banging… But I can be your only student"
  • Or this text: "You make me want to do the naughtiest things..." (This one is especially good because a man knows if he can make you do things you wouldn't normally do, that gives him power. And that's a huge turn on.)
  • Or this one:  "You're so good that you make me so bad..."

Dirty Text Mistakes...

Of course there are a lot of mistakes that women make when texting guys. And most of those typically happen when she tries to talk dirty.

For the most part, most women don't feel very comfortable talking dirty. It feels a little bit weird, foreign, and sometimes creepy.

A lot of women's magazines make it sound like it's the most natural thing for women to do.

But it's not. There are very few women feel really comfortable doing it.

MISTAKE 1: Asking questions you can't handle...

One of the most common mistakes that women make is to ask a question that she really doesn't want the answer to. She asks a question that she's curious about, but she just can't handle that answer.

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Be playful... Turn him on!

For example: How many women he's slept with.

Sure, YOU know what to do when he asks you this question. But he doesn't know what to do when you ask him the same thing.

So when you're texting, don't ask those kinds of questions. Mostly because he can't answer them any other way than factual. Which means you will probably get upset with whatever answer he gives.

This is one of those things we do to self sabotage ourselves.

Men do this one too. Only men don't understand when we should probably fudge the truth a little bit.

Women understand how to handle answers to these questions in a way that dodges it and avoids any conflict.

MISTAKE 2: Don't jump the fence...

What I mean by don't jump the fence is this: these messages I'm sharing are meant for texting. You have to be careful if you're going to use them in another medium.

Such as:

  • Facebook
  • email
  • chat or instant message

You have to think about how he's going to be viewing your message.

  • What will he be doing?
  • Who will he be with?
  • What will he be thinking about?
  • What will his mood be?

So be careful that you don't use the message in the wrong medium. Texting is meant to be slow, one-way communication. It's the time between messages that gives it its impact.

MISTAKE 3: Don't jump the gun...

You're probably going to want to send him sexy messages right away.

But stop for a second and be sure you are meeting him where he is at.  He may not be the kind of guy that really digs dirty text messages.

The best way to find this out is to test the waters first.

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Timing is everything.

Start out with a light text like this: "Was just thinking about you today..."

And then see how he responds to that. Most men are pretty eager to go into naughty territory quickly. So he will lead you there all on his own - you only have to go along for the ride.

MISTAKE 4: Don't change yourself...

Sometimes in an effort to meet a man's expectations a woman will present herself as someone she is not. We all do this from time to time.

If you find yourself using words that are uncomfortable for you, rethink them. If you don't like to use slang or vulgar words, no problem. Simply modify them to fit your personality.

You still want to be authentic when talking dirty in texts. It has to feel like YOU speaking them or he will sense that and think something is off.

You don't have to use crude language to be sexy in texts. Simply use a clever turn of phrase, or a euphemism. Using words that can be taken both ways is also a great way to do it.

But also keep in mind that if you're more the straight-laced librarian type, if you decide to get a little raunchy that will probably get him going even more because it's out of character.

Those little tastes of a 'different you' will make him more interested.

MISTAKE 5: Be careful with your lens...

I have to remind you once again to be careful when sending sexy images over the Internet. These days anybody can hack your phone. Anything can happen to reveal those pictures to the public. You need to make sure that your face is never in the image.

You want to play safe when you use this Method of making him desire you. Sometimes we can go a bit too far when it comes to sexual behavior.

Be careful with your texting so that you can feel safe about where it will take you both.

And if you want to know more phrases and words to use with men that will make him adore you, and obsess about you…

Go find out how passion phrases work - and how to flip a man's obsession switch - HERE…

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