Why Keeping It Cool Makes You Sexy

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

We’ve all heard the expression “Beauty is only skin deep”, but how do attractive women practice a beauty-beyond-looks kind of attitude?

Some would say it’s about being positive and confident, and as a guy, I find it incredibly sexy to meet a woman with these traits. However, what I’ve found is that these are best seen under pressure.

Take my friend Darryl for instance. He just got fired from his job at a software company because it wasn’t too doing too well and had to let some staff go.

woman flirting with man in bar 300x199 Why Keeping It Cool Makes You Sexy

Anyway, he mentioned that he’s currently dating Sharon, a former co-worker who also got the axe at their old job. “The one thing that really stood out for me was how Sharon never sweats it when the sh*t hits the fan,” Darryl told me.

“Even when we were about to get fired, she wasn’t fazed at all,” he continued. “It turned out that she was already looking for work months before they let us go,” Daryl says, “and all I did was feel sorry for myself and freak out.”

And that’s basically what being attractive means when crisis hits. Staying upbeat and not getting flustered is a great way to get a guy without even trying.

Here are a couple of mind tricks you can try on yourself to cultivate this cool-as-a-cucumber personality:

Shut Off Your Inner Pessimist

The funny thing about our brain is that it uses fear to protect us from avoiding worst-case scenarios. And it does that by playing a little slideshow in our heads called, “What’s the Worst That Could Happen?”

The problem is when you let it get to you so much that you feel like a victim of your circumstances, and this isn’t an attractive trait.

Instead of letting those “poor me” thoughts run rampant, focus on the stuff that you can work on.

For example, replace those negative thoughts with phrases like, “Ok, so what can I do to get out of this mess?” or “How do I keep that from happening again?”

By proactively ditching the mental static fogging up your head, you can focus on doing something constructive.

Have an Action Plan When Things Go South

Ok, so after you’ve learned to clear your head, the other part of keeping it cool is going into damage control mode.

The first thing you should remember is that life isn’t fair – the sooner you embrace that, the easier it is to take responsibility for what happens to you.

I’ve dated my share of women who tend to blame everyone and everything for the stuff that happens to them, and it’s not sexy. You know, the type who complains all the time - or wastes her energy on trashing people behind their back instead of dealing with them.

Banner 1 336x280 300x250 Why Keeping It Cool Makes You Sexy

In the time these women spent complaining and feeling sorry for themselves, they could have worked on coming up with a solution instead.

It would have been harder for Darryl to find Sharon attractive if she had whined to him about how their job sucked or how scary it is to find another job in this economy. Instead, she kept it together and worked on getting out of the jam she was in.

Cultivating this kind of attitude is what gets a guy because he’s interested in dating someone who can take care of herself.

Remember, being a “high-maintenance girl” has a lot to do with acting like the universe is out to get you.

Don’t make a guy feel like he has to deal with a stream of endless drama just to be with you. Life management is all about choosing to make the most of a bad situation, no matter how screwed up it seems at first.

And one of the best ways you can take responsibility for your dating life is by learning how to connect with a guy.  To do that, you just have to figure out the different Connection Styles that men have.

After that, finding a man – and keeping him – will be easier than you think. Learn more by going here.

Yours, in Perfect Passion,

- Carlos Cavallo

What To Do When He Is Pulling Away From You

Nothing sends a chill down your spine faster than knowing that your man is growing cold and distant. And when you feel that happening, you need to know what to do when he is pulling away from you. Distance is the one thing that panics men and women. The problem with guys is that they […]

Read More
What To Talk About With A Guy - 18 Tips

Have you ever been talking with a man and found yourself wondering what to say next? You wonder what to talk about with a guy… I'll be the first person to tell you that talking to a man is really not that difficult. The problem is that you only learned how to talk to other […]

Read More
Are You Dating A Married Man? The 26 Rules - And How To NOT Get Hurt

Most women never set out to date a married guy. But for some reason this guy was so appealing and so interesting, and now you find yourself dating a married man. He could be a guy you work with, a guy you met at a party, or really anywhere. Maybe you started talking and realized […]

Read More
How To Make Him Jealous - And Love You More! - 12 Secrets

One of the most common problems a woman has is when a guy seems to be losing interest. And you know that one of the best ways to get him interested again it's figuring out how to make him jealous - and how to make him love you again. It always seems like he's got […]

Read More
Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Guys? 9 Reasons Your Mom Would Never Admit

Have you ever fallen for a bad boy? Almost every woman has felt the attraction for a guy who's a little rough around the edges. And that might make you wonder why do good girls like bad guys? “So why do good girls like bad guys? I had this question for a real long time […]

Read More
Why Do Guys Ghost - 17 Reasons - And How To Stop It From Happening! 

When a guy disappears on you it's one of the most annoying things that can happen when dating. Especially if you started liking him and thought “This one might be different!” And now all you can wonder is - Why do guys ghost? You know the situation: You've been talking to him for a while. […]

Read More
How To Fix A Broken Relationship - 10 Steps You Need To Know

If there's one thing for sure, it's that you will have problems in your relationship. So you need to know how to fix a broken relationship, no matter how bad. The good news is that if you can detect it early enough, a broken relationship can be fixed. And unlike a broken piece of pottery, […]

Read More
The 20 BEST Compliments For A Guy

Women want to feel more seen, heard, loved, and appreciated. But did you know guys do too? Do you know any compliments for a guy to make him feel your love? Let’s put it this way: How long would you stick around if you didn’t feel his love and appreciation? Well, he won’t stick around […]

Read More
20 REAL Signs That He Cheated - Is He Having An Affair?

If you want to create a relationship of love, trust, and connection, you have to know if your man is being faithful. It's also important to see any signs that he cheated - or if he's thinking of being unfaithful or having an affair. Some men can stray - and usually not because he's a […]

Read More
10 BEST Ways To Say I Love You - To MEN!

There are probably as many ways to say I love you as there are people to say it. You might be wondering how to say I love you to someone special. Even more important, you probably don't want to scare that person off when you tell them! One of the most common problems I run […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram