How To Win Him Back...

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hi Carlos, I was with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and we were engaged for 6 months in that time. I broke up with him twice over stupid things- over- reaction on my part ):

Anyway, he now has a girlfriend and I have been trying to get our relationship back. We talk and see each other and we are even dating (which he told his girlfriend that he was going to date other people).

He did work at my house for 2 weeks and we had a blast and yes sex ( I did stop the sex but then gave in once last week.) We have an intense connection- sexual as well as personal).

He said he doesn't trust me and is afraid that - if he breaks up with her and we get back together - I will break his heart again and I hurt him so much- he doesn't want to go through that again.

He took the new girl on a water skiing trip from thurs til tomorrow. We had intense love making on wednesday before he left (He says their sex is ok- he hasn't found anyone as good as me- and he has to get drunk and use liquid natural "viagra" with her.)

win How To Win Him Back...
Anyway, I told him I won't call him anymore- I will wait for him to call me.

He gets home tomorrow and we haven't talked since thurs. What do I do? How do I proceed? How do I make him trust me again?

Thanks sooo much for any help!!!! I love your "Forever Yours" series!!! It is EXCELLENT.

I will recommend to my friends...

- Sheila
______________________
CARLOS CAVALLO ANSWERS:

Sheila, when I saw this, I knew I had to move this to the top of my mailbag...

Why?...

 

240x400 2 How To Win Him Back...

Because I can tell by what you're saying that you GET IT. (And not just because you recognize the value of what I'm teaching you in Forever Yours...)

You obviously aren't playing the hurt, desperate-to-have him card.

Now, I will have to call you out on the breaking up with him twice thing. Without knowing why or the details, that will put a bit of a blemish on this...

BUT - you recognized your error, so that tells me you can make some changes going forward.

AND - I have to tell you that this also gives you a uniquely advantageous position.

You already demonstrated - by breaking it off - that you A) value yourself, B) have boundaries that you will uphold, and C) can live without him.

And if he proposed before, that means he WANTS you. You've already got established history, attraction, and connection. The recipe is almost complete!

No matter what he says, he's ripe to win back.

But I want to be clear that if I give you a little advice here, you better not trash that poor boy's heart again! That would be SO uncool.

Deal?

Okay, let's go...

1) Hats off to you for being able to handle the New Girl in the picture.

Don't let him see you jealous or that she bothers you in the slightest. If you lose self-control and freak, you could push him into her arms. (Yeah, even if the sex is lame. :)

She will be OUT of the picture the second he gives in to his desire to be with you.

Men have a natural need to win back a love they lost that was not their fault. (Women go through this, too.) It's a way of redeeming our self-esteem and self-value. (Review the section in your program on Romance Restart for more details.)

2) A little dose of reality here: His current girl is a BTN (Better Than Nothing.) But he also probably colors that picture for your sake (about the quality of the sex) to make you feel better.

What you should find out, without prying or being insecure, is if she knows about you. If so, all the better. The other girl will surely make mistakes that you won't.

win 2 How To Win Him Back...

3) You ask: "How do I proceed? How do I make him trust me again?"

First, do not break his trust!

As Elton John would also say, "Don't go breakin' his heart..."

Next, do as you say. You said you weren't going to call him, so DON'T. No matter HOW tempting it will be.

Even if he doesn't call you for 2 weeks...

Can you take it?

That's the resolve you need to have along the way. Because he may pull back a bit just to test his own feelings about you.

You need to keep up the same posture.

Be consistent, and earn back that trust by keeping up your good behavior. And hopefully it's not just an act, right?

Because in the end, you can't hide the real you. You can only BE the best you for him.

And he will restore a good portion of the trust for you HIMSELF. We overcome our trust issues all on our own, most of the time.

(Trust is not only how trustable you are, but how badly he wants to trust you to justify coming back to you. Never underestimate the power of that need.)

Don't slip into "acts of desperation" - he's already close to where you need him.

Just stay consistent and scarce enough that he regains his desire for what you had before.

Using what you've learned from Forever Yours, you're already 90% of the way there...

And if you're reading this right now, and you want to know the secrets of how to open his heart and get him to adore you...

Then you should watch this short video right now - and discover the three questions you need to know to win him completely - and FOREVER.

Yours in Perfect Passion...

- Carlos Cavallo

240x400 3 How To Win Him Back...

More Articles

"My Boyfriend Won't Make Time For Me!" - 9 Tips To Be His Priority

If you've ever been in a relationship where you want to get the attention you deserve, you might have found yourself feeling neglected and unwanted. You may have even told your friends "My boyfriend won't make time for me! What the heck should I do?" Let's tackle this tricky situation and give you the tips […]

Read More
How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work - 20 Secrets To Success

A long-distance relationship can be one of the most challenging situations for dating. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work you gotta know what most women don't know! There are a lot of barriers to keeping a long distance relationship healthy. A lot of people don't believe that long-distance […]

Read More
Is He Just A Friend - Or Is He Interested In You? - 16 Tips!

If you've ever been in love with a guy and wondered: Is he just a friend or is he interested? - you're not alone. When a man and a woman hang out, even if they're only friends, there's always going to be a little bit of sexual tension. Many studies have shown that the number […]

Read More
Dating A Younger Man? 25 Things You Better Know

One of the most controversial parts of dating and relationships is the age of your partner. Is it okay to date someone younger, older? If you're dating a younger man, you better know what to do. We often think about older women dating younger men as “cougars.”  But that label is just not fair. You […]

Read More
Will a Man Change For The Right Woman? Will He Change For YOU?

One of the most common Romance novel plots is the rich, womanizing playboy that finds an amazing woman, realizes the error of his ways, and settles down to be tamed by this amazing woman. But is this realistic? Will a man change for the right woman? Well, we all change over the course of our […]

Read More
When To Date Exclusively - When does a relationship become exclusive?

One of the most important milestones in a relationship is when you become exclusive. It's also one of the most anxious times for women because she's waiting for weeks or even months to figure out “Where is this going?"  So let's talk about exclusive relationships, and when does a relationship become exclusive? In many surveys, […]

Read More
What Do Men Look For In A Woman? 26 Things He Wants From You

Men are hard to read - and even harder is knowing what he’s thinking about your relationship. If you’ve ever asked him what he’s thinking, you know what I’m talking about. You are probably desperate to know: What do men look for in a woman? Maybe you want to get married, settle down and start […]

Read More
Chemistry In A Relationship - Do you have it? Find out…

Chemistry is one of those things that almost seems mystical. And if you don't know what you're looking for, you might not know if you have chemistry in relationship. Everybody talks about chemistry. And it is really important. If you don't have chemistry in your relationship, chances are your passion will just flicker and die […]

Read More
Communication In A Relationship - 9 Tips To Reach Your Man

Any woman who has been in a relationship knows that communication is one of the most important things. In fact, if you don't have communication in a relationship, you don't really have a relationship. But how do you communicate with guys? Men can seem so difficult to talk to. The funny thing is, to men, […]

Read More
How To Be Mysterious - And Make Any Man Desire You

If you ever watched a movie where a woman seduced a man, you may have wondered how to be mysterious like that. How do you make yourself attractive and alluring by being mysterious? Unfortunately, most women don't learn the ancient art of how to use their Feminine Mystique anymore. It's very rare that girls are […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram