Is He Torturing You On Purpose...?

By: Carlos Cavallo

Have you ever wondered, is he torturing you on purpose? Is this just a man playing with your head and your heart?

I'll explain more if a guy is leading you on in this Q&A:


So I met a guy a few months ago. He says he wants to date and have it hopefully go further. He is VERY busy (he’s not just saying that, he really is swamped with work and gets very little sleep and tells me about it.)

Communication is very difficult and I have not seen him in months!!! I want things to go further but I’m at a loss for what to do here. We talk fairly regularly…

I initiate emails or texts often (bad, I know, but I’m afraid I’ll stop hearing from him!) He says he has interest but things are hard. I’m so frustrated and it’s taking a huge toll on me.

I know that if a guy is seriously interested, NOTHING will keep him from making more of an effort and pursuing. I've tried everything here. I’m afraid to pull away because I’m afraid he will be so busy that he won’t notice or care.


I've dated guys since him and he’s the one I want. It’s driving me crazy. How do I get him to make more of an effort and problem solve?

0313 unhappy couple in bed sm Is He Torturing You On Purpose...?

Or is he just sadistic and stringing me along even though it hurts me? I’m clueless here.




First off, I can assure you that he's probably not sadistic.

The fact of the matter is that we often don't realize that most people only act in self interest - even if that self-interest hurts people around them.

You already have the keys to your answer in what you told me, so I'm going to hit them here really quick...

1)  He is VERY busy (he’s not just saying that, he really is swamped with work and gets very little sleep and tells me about it.)

I have to ask - is this a special situation, OR is this the way his life will probably be for the foreseeable future...?

Because while you DO want a man who is ambitious and works toward his goals, you also need a man that can pull back and balance things out....

2) You said:

"I’m so frustrated and it’s taking a huge toll on me. I know that if a guy is seriously interested, NOTHING will keep him from making more of an effort and pursuing. I've tried everything here. I’m afraid to pull away because I’m afraid he will be so busy that he won’t notice or care."

You're absolutely right about the interest part. If he's genuinely interested, he'll act on that interest.

We often excuse people out of things by listening to their "logical" explanations, and not wanting to admit that the truth is that if you want something bad enough, you'll do what it takes to get it.

Right now, it appears that his work is more important do him.

Now, you say that you're afraid to pull away, but the reality is that you know you MUST do this. But what you're really saying is that you're afraid that he doesn't feel the same way about you.

So you'd rather continue doing what's not working, in the hopes that you can avoid finding that out.

he Takes you for Granted Is He Torturing You On Purpose...?

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's a simple game of trying to avoid getting your feelings hurt. And I understand that.

But think about a few more months of this pain, because the pattern won't change without you to start respecting your own time and value.

Then, after a few more months, he goes and finds someone else or just ends it. And now you feel the cumulative pain of letting him have that control over your heart.

Take back the ownership! He's not fit for stewarding this relationship, or impacting your self respect and value.

If you haven't seen him in months, and he hasn't initiated seeing you in months, it's already over. You're just clinging to the wreckage here.

And ultimately, that will make it harder for you to connect to the next guy who IS genuinely interested.

Stop holding on to the fantasy. Starting now, you're going to have to pull away and let him realize that you're not going to be taken advantage of and taken for granted.

And if he really does want a relationship, it's the only way he's going to realize it. He can't value something that he doesn't understand he can lose.

And if you want the complete plan for how to handle a man - and really make him yours forever - then you need to watch this video where I explain how men think, and how you can get everything you deserve from your relationships....

Remember - no matter how much YOU think he's the one for you, if he isn't believing it, it's not true.

So you have to get to work doing the RIGHT things to get him to stand up and take notice...

- Carlos Cavallo


UPDATED 9/23/2021

Carlos Cavallo's Dating Advice Guru Relationship Tips For Women
Carlos Cavallo - Dating Advice For Women

Carlos Cavallo Dating and Relationship Guru

FREE Report!

The 7 Mistakes Women Make That Make Men Pull Away...

  • The REAL Reason Men Run From Relationships...
  • How To Know If He's Still Interested In You...
  • Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out...
  • Take The Quiz!
  • Listen to Carlos podcast

  • Carlos Cavallo's Relationship Tips

    Dating & Relationship Advice Published By:

    Morpheus Productions, LLC
    1115 Madison St NE #1047
    Salem, OR 97301


  • More Articles

    Unhappy In a Relationship - How To Fix It

    When you're unhappy in a relationship it's one of the most difficult situations. When you've got relationship problems, everything else just seems to fade into the background, and you want to know how to fix it. You wish you had a Magic Pill that would turn your unhappy relationship into a healthy relationship. Whatever the […]

    Read More
    How To Get Over Someone You Love

    According to relationship experts, the best way to get over someone you love is to just "get over them". But, this is the worst advice ever for how to get over someone. Breaking up hurts. But it doesn't need to be constant suffering. If you want to know how to get through a breakup, that's […]

    Read More
    How To Get His Attention Back Fast - Without Looking Desperate!

    You can be in a real panic when a guy stops paying attention to you or ignores you. When you feel him slipping away, all you can think about is how to get his attention back fast - and without looking desperate. If you sense he has lost enthusiasm for you, you don't want to […]

    Read More
    How To Get The Spark Back In A Relationship - 8 Must-Read Tips

    Every relationship is awesome at the beginning. But it's also perfectly natural to have slow periods in your relationship. You may be wondering right now how to get the spark back in your relationship. Falling in love is easy when the feelings of passion and desire run high. Staying in love is a little trickier. […]

    Read More
    "My Boyfriend Won't Make Time For Me!" - 9 Tips To Be His Priority

    If you've ever been in a relationship where you want to get the attention you deserve, you might have found yourself feeling neglected and unwanted. You may have even told your friends "My boyfriend won't make time for me! What the heck should I do?" Let's tackle this tricky situation and give you the tips […]

    Read More
    How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work - 20 Secrets To Success

    A long-distance relationship can be one of the most challenging situations for dating. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work you gotta know what most women don't know! There are a lot of barriers to keeping a long distance relationship healthy. A lot of people don't believe that long-distance […]

    Read More
    Is He Just A Friend - Or Is He Interested In You? - 16 Tips!

    If you've ever been in love with a guy and wondered: Is he just a friend or is he interested? - you're not alone. When a man and a woman hang out, even if they're only friends, there's always going to be a little bit of sexual tension. Many studies have shown that the number […]

    Read More
    Dating A Younger Man? 25 Things You Better Know

    One of the most controversial parts of dating and relationships is the age of your partner. Is it okay to date someone younger, older? If you're dating a younger man, you better know what to do. We often think about older women dating younger men as “cougars.”  But that label is just not fair. You […]

    Read More
    Will a Man Change For The Right Woman? Will He Change For YOU?

    One of the most common Romance novel plots is the rich, womanizing playboy that finds an amazing woman, realizes the error of his ways, and settles down to be tamed by this amazing woman. But is this realistic? Will a man change for the right woman? Well, we all change over the course of our […]

    Read More
    When To Date Exclusively - When does a relationship become exclusive?

    One of the most important milestones in a relationship is when you become exclusive. It's also one of the most anxious times for women because she's waiting for weeks or even months to figure out “Where is this going?"  So let's talk about exclusive relationships, and when does a relationship become exclusive? In many surveys, […]

    Read More


    FREE EBOOK & VIDEO Shows you why you're not his priority anymore

    - The REAL Reasons Men Disappear

    - How To Know If He's Still Interested

    - Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out!

    Your Book is on the way... Check your email now!

    linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram