TALKING TRASH: Love Quotes, Flirty Text Messages, and Kylie Jenner’s Purse Closet Tour
Okay, I’ve got some great trash for today…
The first thing I’m pulling out of the dumpster is about –
You may or may not know this but love quotes are a big thing on the internet. You’ll see them in everyone’s Instagrams, snapchats, you-name-it.
Why is this such a big deal to women?
Well you probably already know why. I know, too.
It’s inspiring for a lot of women to hear the idealistic view of love and relationships.
- They keep your hopes alive…
- They share wisdom…
- They affirm your heart and empower you…
- They make you feel good!
But I also have to point out that some of these are just pure rubbish.
Yeah – TRASH.
“Whoah, Carlos – now you’ve gone TOO far!”
Oh hang on to your bippies, dear reader…
I’m not going aggro on love quotes in general, but just some of the really dumb ones that make me cringe.
Like this one:
I am permanently in love with you; always and forever…
Is it sweet? Sure.
Is it something you’d like to hear from your man? Yeah, definitely.
Does it often lead you into the false belief that romantic love can “never end”? Yep. And THAT is what’s dangerous about this type of love quote.
I get that we all want to believe in “forever love.” Part of the human condition is to seek a stable, forgiving, always-there feeling of love that reassures us about our existence here in this world.
But real human love is very flawed, and often takes us in unhealthy directions if we keep following it well past its limits.
Look, some guys turn out to be real dicks. You get into a relationship, and then you see some really serious flaws.
We need to look closely at our never-ending, never complete sense of self that craves this “guaranteed love.”
Why do we need that? COMMENT BELOW….
Here’s another love quote:
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
You might recognize that one as being from Marilyn Monroe. And it’s often quoted on T-shirts as just the last line:
“if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
I gotta say that if you take it out of context, it does change the feel of the quote, yeah?
The problem I have with this one is that it tries to make the case that it’s okay to be impatient, selfish, and out of control. “Just deal with it, honey!”
Let me just say that you can adopt a “he better just deal with it” attitude… but don’t expect him to stick around if someone a bit more low maintenance comes around.
Relationships aren’t based on “taking it” in either direction. We have to rise above ourselves to create the dynamic that is loving and connected.
Yes, you do need tolerance, but not for another persons intolerant behavior.
Okay, so what about those flirty text messages, Carlos?
I’m not going to give you any text messages to use on your man. If I just lost you, then so be it…
I want to trash talk our fixation on texting for a minute –
Well, I really want to talk about it for YOU.
You might not be a woman who relies on texting very much. Or you might not THINK you do. But there’s something very important about why women like to flirt using texts…
- It’s like passing a note in class like when you were in 4th grade…
- It’s “abstract” (I’ll explain this)
- It’s addicting…
The first one is pretty obvious. We all like that feeling of playing with the energy of flirting – and when you write a note it’s kind of like you’re having a surrogate or have someone else go over and do what you can’t do in person.
Now, it’s also abstract – meaning that you’re not communicating with him directly. You FEEL like you are, but you’re using short phrases and sentences typed in that are read on a tiny screen with emojis.
That’s NOT the same as talking to a person.
In fact, your thoughts – which you hope he’ll understand – are being flavored with your emotions – which you hope he shares.
Those things are mixed into a short little text to a guy…
How much do you think survives the translation.
ANSWER: Not so much.
And finally – texting is addicting.
Waiting for that guy to reply to your carefully constructed text that you just thought about for the last 10 minutes puts your heart right out there for him. That’s vulnerability.
And then as you wait for the reply, hoping it will be promising and say something that makes you feel adored, you’re already setting up expectations.
And now there are hormones in your brain being pent up and ready for release depending on what he says.
If it’s good, you get a little shot of dopamine, and now this behavior seems more rewarding than it once did. You’ve just gotten a brain-shot of happy. And you’ll want more.
So recognize that these flirty love texts to your man are not innocent. They have a weight of emotional investment in them that will flavor your experience of your man.
One of the most common complaints I hear is that a guy will never meet your expectations when it comes to texting. You can spend 30 minutes coming up with the most awesome, loving text only to have him reply with:
What is “K” supposed to mean? OK?
He couldn’t even work up enough energy to type the friggin O???
Yeah, I hear ya. It’s annoying and frustrating.
But it happened because you needed and expected SOMETHING to happen. You didn’t write that text just to send a one-way message to your love.
You probably needed to hear some kind of recognition back from him. Some kind of reciprocation that sounds like “I love you too! We’re still connected!”
Whatever the expectation was, if you had it going in – it wasn’t his fault you didn’t get it.
You can’t setup a game and expect to win if you don’t explain the rules to everyone playing.
If you remember this when sending him a lovey-dovey, flirty text message – or even a dirty text message – you won’t be as emotionally committed to his reply.
REMEMBER: You can’t control his response – so don’t put your heart out there on the roll of the dice!
Now, here’s something I GOTTA talk trash about –
Kylie Jenner’s Purse Closet! OMFG!
I saw this clip from Today that has her touring her walk-in handbag closet.
Now Kylie Jenner is 21 years old, and apparently has gone from a reality TV show to a cosmetics empire and is apparently close to being a … wait for it… BILLIONAIRE.
Wow! That’s actually pretty awesome accomplishment for anyone.
But let’s not get too pumped up – she’s not just ANYONE, is she?
She’s had way more opportunity and advantages than most, so she’s not exactly a rags-to-riches tale.
But I have to say that having a closet devoted to nothing but handbags is a rather … interesting accomplishment.
The Today Show website said:
“While some of us aspire to one day fill a massive closet with high-end fashions and accessories, almost-billionaire Kylie Jenner is already living the dream — and then some.”
I’m not sure, but I think even the most savvy woman today probably doesn’t aspire to fill a massive closet with her handbags. I know that the media likes to think that women are just materialistic and want nothing but shoes and purses… but I don’t buy it.
And would you call this “Living the dream?”
Is having more and more stuff to accessorize – is that your DREAM for life? Or maybe your dream is connecting with your friends and family. Having enough money to cover all your bills and some left over…
Maybe your dream is having a lifestyle of helping others…
But I’m not sure you are all about purse closets.
So – what do you think?
About love quotes, flirty text messages, or… Kylie Jenner’s handbag closet…
Is the world going crazy?