4 Ways to Manage Conflict in Your Relationship

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

Being with someone you care about means there are emotional stakes involved. It also means getting hurt from time to time when you don’t agree on something, and you end up fighting about it.

Are you looking for a way to keep these conflicts from getting out of hand in your relationship?

Apply the tips below to start de-escalating the tension with your guy:

#1: Don’t Sweep it Under the Rug

Sooner or later, you’ll need to deal with whatever’s bothering you. And it’s better to do it before all those negative feelings snowball and overwhelm you both.

Besides, you don’t want to keep it all inside and act like nothing’s wrong, only for you to have an outburst later on.

Understanding the need for handling problems as they come up is the first step. From here, you can work on taking action so that things don’t come to a head.

couple arguing in bed 300x218 4 Ways to Manage Conflict in Your Relationship

#2: Learn How to Criticize Constructively

I know how annoying it can be when your guy doesn’t respond to low-level complaints; you feel forced to get nasty just to get him to listen.

Whether it’s taking out the trash before going to bed or paying the bills on time, there’s a better alternative to having a meltdown and being too harsh with your words.

What you need to do is be clear about what you need from him and leave out any accusations or name-calling.

This makes it easier for guys to deal with difficult topics, like commitment or talking about your emotions.

Speaking of which, it’s best to lead with your emotions by telling him how you feel about a certain issue. For instance, you can say, “I feel like we’re not spending enough time together, and I’d really love for us to work on that.”

And that brings us to the next step…

#3: Work From a “Team Us” Perspective

Men love to tinker, so you can encourage him to deal with an issue by making it something you can solve together. From a male perspective, problems seem better when they’re a troubleshooting experience.

You wouldn’t get a positive reaction by simply blurting out, “You know, it sucks that you’re too caught up in your job and it’s really selfish of you not to care about spending time together.”

Let him feel that he can be part of the solution, rather than pinning the problem on him or his lack of concern. Find a good time to talk about it, but bring it up in a way that doesn’t make him defensive (see #2) or shuts down on you.

If he can’t deal with it right now, ask him what would be a good time to talk about it later on.  At the very least, he’s aware that you have something on your mind and has enough time to prepare for a discussion.

I personally find the feeling of being ambushed to be unpleasant, so the less harsh you can bring up a difficult topic, the more receptive your man will be.

Banner 1 336x280 300x250 4 Ways to Manage Conflict in Your Relationship

#4: Look for the Silver Lining

I know it’s tough dealing with conflict, and the best way to cope with it is by having a good perspective to work from.

You may feel bad in the heat of the moment and have those “doom and gloom” thoughts. But remember, these are just temporary feelings and it doesn’t mean that everything’s going down the drain.

Focus on the fact that you’re just going through growing pains and learning more about each other in the process.

If anything, knowing more about your partner will bring you closer after the dust settles.

What’s important is that you’re learning how to manage difficult situations and keeping a positive sentiment in your relationship.

Keeping a guy doesn’t have to be an uphill struggle though. Learning about his Connection Style will take out the guesswork of making him fall deeper in love with you.

Go here to find out how to keep him for good.

Yours, in Perfect Passion,

- Carlos Cavallo

What Makes A Man Leave His Wife For Another Woman

What makes a man decide to leave his wife — What makes a man leave his wife for another woman? As a coach and counselor for women on dating and relationships, I often run into situations where a marriage has ended. And there's always the question about what makes a man leave his wife like […]

Read More
24 Signs He's Secretly In Love With You

Wouldn't it be great if there were secret signals that a guy likes you? Are there signs he's secretly in love with you? Well, the answer to that question is yes. No secret there. And I'm going to cover some of those secret signs here for you. The guy you're curious about might be working […]

Read More
How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

When you meet a guy or just want to start up a relationship with a man these days, you need to know how to start a conversation over text. Luckily, this isn't hard to do if you know what he is looking for. Sometimes it's hard to come up with the right thing to say, […]

Read More
Where To Meet Men - 7 Places You Missed

"Where are all the good men?" Every woman has asked this at some point or another. So let's talk about where to meet men, and some places you might not have thought about. When it comes to meeting men, the truth is that there are really no bad places to meet men. Oh sure, you […]

Read More
Is He Seeing Someone Else? 19 Signs You Need To Know

Have you ever found some evidence - a text or a note or something - and thought - Is he seeing someone else? You might wonder if you're just being paranoid or "overthinking" things.  But you can't deny, the evidence is there. This situation is related to an email I got recently from someone: ______________________ […]

Read More
When You're Texting A Guy And He Stops Replying - Ghosted

Nothing is more frustrating - and more common, it seems - than the experience of texting a guy and he stops replying to you. You get GHOSTED. It sounds like some kind of supernatural disease - GHOSTING... but it's one of the most common dating experiences these days. In fact, it's become pretty common for […]

Read More
How To Make Him Regret Leaving You - Or Losing You! (Or Dumping You!)

Breakups are heart-wrenching - and most women would love to know how to make him regret leaving you - or just make him regret dumping you in the first place. And sometimes you just want him to know what he's missing out on. How stupid he was for letting go of you... Yeah, it may […]

Read More
When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument - What To Do!

Have you ever had a guy stop talking to you after you get into a disagreement? What do you do when a guy ignores you after an argument? There's nothing more frustrating than getting the silent treatment.  You feel ignored, minimized, and very small. It also feels like you're abandoned. I'm pretty sure each of […]

Read More
"I Miss My Ex Boyfriend - And I Want Him Back!" What To Do - 17 Tips...

It's probably every woman's worst fear: the breakup. And then you find yourself texting your friends: "I Miss My Ex Boyfriend - And I Want Him Back!" Everything probably started out fantastic between you. You had great dates, great fun, great bedroom action... And then things started to cool off. He didn't text you as […]

Read More
Are You Giving Up On Love? Read This First...

There's no doubt that Love can be frustrating... For some people, it drives them crazy. Maybe that's you - are you giving up on love? Well don't do it until you read this article! This isn't going to be some empty cheerleading, or some rah-rah speech. Sometimes the one thing we need most when we […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram