Accept him? Or try to change him?

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

All women want to have a successful relationship with their men, don’t they?

But there's plenty that gets lost in translation between men and women (we often forget that “men are from mars and women are from venus” business) which can make things more difficult than you'd like.

It also begs the question: why would any woman want to change her man?

tumblr louquzueC81qmi5uao1 500 300x223 Accept him? Or try to change him?

It’s mostly because women were bombarded by fictional beliefs growing up, like Prince Charming and the proverbial knight in shining armor.

When a guy comes along, she’ll unconsciously look for the traits of her “Perfect Man”, and when she doesn’t see it…well, that’s when the “fixing” happens.

She’ll try to change him and this is where the power struggle in the relationship begins. And you probably don’t want to admit it, but this happens a lot - and doesn't achieve much.

You see, initially, you have so much hope - a romantic fantasy that you can have that magical happily-ever-after-with-him. It's that feeling of “This is it! He’s the one!”

But, you’ll realize after getting to know him (after you made him comfortable enough to drop his guard and be himself), that he’s not even close to that perfect guy you thought he was.

He doesn’t fit the criteria. So, what does a woman end up doing?

She tries to change the guy by molding him into someone she's been dreaming of her whole life.

And what happens? The result is usually the end of a partnership that could have lasted forever.

boyfriend playing video games 300x200 Accept him? Or try to change him?

You’re left wondering what went wrong, and you’re back again to that cycle of finding “the one” - complaining why he hasn’t arrived yet, and when he does, you get to know each other, then you do your “thing” again.

And - BOOM - the relationship ends.

If this is a normal occurrence to you, and you’d like to end the vicious cycle, stay clear from these damaging mistakes of trying to change him.

REMEMBER: He’ll change because he loves you.

You expect him to change who he is just to prove how much he cares for you – and when he doesn’t - or can’t - you instantly think he doesn’t care.

And this damages the relationship that could have lead to your "happily ever after" - if you'd only given it a chance.

If you’re doing this, stop.

Be fair to him. Ask yourself, what would your reactions be if he expected you to change for him?

Would you?

Could you?

You’re always right. Or… are you?

It’s your way or the highway. You don’t allow his opinions to be heard nor are you open to the possibility that he might just be right.

This attitude is very harmful to your relationship with him since this can and will lead to disagreements, arguments and fights which will tax the relationship. They may even overdraw your emotional “bank account.”

%name Accept him? Or try to change him?

Remember that men want their women to respect them – and allow them to be a man, so he can feel like a man.

Ask yourself this – you want this to last forever, right? If the answer is yes, then you may have to flex to suit the relationship.

Relationships are always a two-way street. Respect him as you expect to be respected.

You want him to be like you.

You need to be aware and understand that each of our life experiences from childhood to adulthood makes us different from each other.

There might be a slight similarity, but not everything will be the same. And you really wouldn’t want that, anyway.

Expecting him to think like you, have the same ideals as you, like the same music you do (when he’s not) is a huge mistake.

It might even sound ridiculously obvious, but you’d be surprised by how many men complain about their partner trying to change them into someone else.

If you’re doing this, you have to learn to accept him in his entirety and love him for who he is, just as (hopefully) he’s willing to do for you.

If you persist, you’ll just end up turning into a controlling and nagging girlfriend.

336x280 1 300x249 Accept him? Or try to change him?

And the more you do this, the more he’ll resist your attempts. And eventually this only leads to the inevitable breakup.

Some guys will even cheat just to escape a situation like this. No, it isn’t justified, but you can understand how a guy who’s backed into a corner will feel trapped in a relationship.

If you truly love him, stop focusing on trying to change him. Instead, focus of being with him right here, in the present.

Live the moment. Enjoy being together.

Make every minute you spend a happy one, and he’ll WANT to devote his every waking moment to you.

If you’d like to get him to commit to you forever – watch this video now to reveal the secret to opening a man’s heart….

Yours In Perfect Passion...

- Carlos Cavallo

Why Does He Keep Coming Back? When he doesn't even want a relationship?

If you've ever had a relationship that was rocky, and sometimes downright difficult, you may wonder why does he keep coming back? Is he half interested? Is he just using me? What the heck is going on? This can really drive you nuts because you feel like you have a good relationship. It's especially confusing […]

Read More
Does My Guy Friend Like Me? 16 Signs To Look For

Sometimes your guy friends might make you scratch your head. They act a little bit flirty, or maybe hold eye contact a little too long, and you start to wonder “Does my guy friend like me?” The truth is, many men try this tactic for working (sometimes weaseling) their way into a woman's heart. For […]

Read More
How To Win A Guy Over

Over the long hard Road of Romance, there's a good chance you've probably found a guy that wasn't ready to show you how much he wanted to be with you. You know you have to open his heart to you, and all you want to know is how to win a guy over. And you'd […]

Read More
Why Is He Trying To Make Me Jealous? - The Secret Psychology

Some women believe that men try to push their buttons. The truth however, it's exactly the opposite. If you're wondering “Why is he trying to make me jealous?” - then this article should help you understand him better. And I will also explain what to do if he is trying to make you jealous. Jealousy […]

Read More
How Men Test Women - Secret Tests That You Must Pass!

This is one of those things that I think every woman wants to know: How men test women. But first I have to set the record straight on something right off the bat: Men don't intentionally test women...! Now you might find that a little bit hard to believe. After all, a lot of men's […]

Read More
7 Signs He Cares About You

In today's dating world, it's hard to know if a man truly feels for you. You may find yourself looking for signs he cares about you quite often. The trickiest part is knowing for sure. We all want guarantees when it comes to relationships - especially when we're in love. But even more important, you […]

Read More
How To Get A Man To Marry You - 11 Secret Tips

If you're like most women who have been in a relationship for more than six months, you may start to wonder how to get a man to marry you. After all, marriage is the goal of a committed relationship. There are 4 big steps in any relationship: The first date The first sleepover Becoming "exclusive" […]

Read More
What Makes A Man Leave His Wife For Another Woman

What makes a man decide to leave his wife — What makes a man leave his wife for another woman? As a coach and counselor for women on dating and relationships, I often run into situations where a marriage has ended. And there's always the question about what makes a man leave his wife like […]

Read More
24 Signs He's Secretly In Love With You

Wouldn't it be great if there were secret signals that a guy likes you? Are there signs he's secretly in love with you? Well, the answer to that question is yes. No secret there. And I'm going to cover some of those secret signs here for you. The guy you're curious about might be working […]

Read More
How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

When you meet a guy or just want to start up a relationship with a man these days, you need to know how to start a conversation over text. Luckily, this isn't hard to do if you know what he is looking for. Sometimes it's hard to come up with the right thing to say, […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram