Accept him? Or try to change him?

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

All women want to have a successful relationship with their men, don’t they?

But there's plenty that gets lost in translation between men and women (we often forget that “men are from mars and women are from venus” business) which can make things more difficult than you'd like.

It also begs the question: why would any woman want to change her man?

tumblr louquzueC81qmi5uao1 500 300x223 Accept him? Or try to change him?

It’s mostly because women were bombarded by fictional beliefs growing up, like Prince Charming and the proverbial knight in shining armor.

When a guy comes along, she’ll unconsciously look for the traits of her “Perfect Man”, and when she doesn’t see it…well, that’s when the “fixing” happens.

She’ll try to change him and this is where the power struggle in the relationship begins. And you probably don’t want to admit it, but this happens a lot - and doesn't achieve much.

You see, initially, you have so much hope - a romantic fantasy that you can have that magical happily-ever-after-with-him. It's that feeling of “This is it! He’s the one!”

But, you’ll realize after getting to know him (after you made him comfortable enough to drop his guard and be himself), that he’s not even close to that perfect guy you thought he was.

He doesn’t fit the criteria. So, what does a woman end up doing?

She tries to change the guy by molding him into someone she's been dreaming of her whole life.

And what happens? The result is usually the end of a partnership that could have lasted forever.

boyfriend playing video games 300x200 Accept him? Or try to change him?

You’re left wondering what went wrong, and you’re back again to that cycle of finding “the one” - complaining why he hasn’t arrived yet, and when he does, you get to know each other, then you do your “thing” again.

And - BOOM - the relationship ends.

If this is a normal occurrence to you, and you’d like to end the vicious cycle, stay clear from these damaging mistakes of trying to change him.

REMEMBER: He’ll change because he loves you.

You expect him to change who he is just to prove how much he cares for you – and when he doesn’t - or can’t - you instantly think he doesn’t care.

And this damages the relationship that could have lead to your "happily ever after" - if you'd only given it a chance.

If you’re doing this, stop.

Be fair to him. Ask yourself, what would your reactions be if he expected you to change for him?

Would you?

Could you?

You’re always right. Or… are you?

It’s your way or the highway. You don’t allow his opinions to be heard nor are you open to the possibility that he might just be right.

This attitude is very harmful to your relationship with him since this can and will lead to disagreements, arguments and fights which will tax the relationship. They may even overdraw your emotional “bank account.”

%name Accept him? Or try to change him?

Remember that men want their women to respect them – and allow them to be a man, so he can feel like a man.

Ask yourself this – you want this to last forever, right? If the answer is yes, then you may have to flex to suit the relationship.

Relationships are always a two-way street. Respect him as you expect to be respected.

You want him to be like you.

You need to be aware and understand that each of our life experiences from childhood to adulthood makes us different from each other.

There might be a slight similarity, but not everything will be the same. And you really wouldn’t want that, anyway.

Expecting him to think like you, have the same ideals as you, like the same music you do (when he’s not) is a huge mistake.

It might even sound ridiculously obvious, but you’d be surprised by how many men complain about their partner trying to change them into someone else.

If you’re doing this, you have to learn to accept him in his entirety and love him for who he is, just as (hopefully) he’s willing to do for you.

If you persist, you’ll just end up turning into a controlling and nagging girlfriend.

336x280 1 300x249 Accept him? Or try to change him?

And the more you do this, the more he’ll resist your attempts. And eventually this only leads to the inevitable breakup.

Some guys will even cheat just to escape a situation like this. No, it isn’t justified, but you can understand how a guy who’s backed into a corner will feel trapped in a relationship.

If you truly love him, stop focusing on trying to change him. Instead, focus of being with him right here, in the present.

Live the moment. Enjoy being together.

Make every minute you spend a happy one, and he’ll WANT to devote his every waking moment to you.

If you’d like to get him to commit to you forever – watch this video now to reveal the secret to opening a man’s heart….

Yours In Perfect Passion...

- Carlos Cavallo

20 REAL Signs That He Cheated - Is He Having An Affair?

If you want to create a relationship of love, trust, and connection, you have to know if your man is being faithful. It's also important to see any signs that he cheated - or if he's thinking of being unfaithful or having an affair. Some men can stray - and usually not because he's a […]

Read More
10 BEST Ways To Say I Love You - To MEN!

There are probably as many ways to say I love you as there are people to say it. You might be wondering how to say I love you to someone special. Even more important, you probably don't want to scare that person off when you tell them! One of the most common problems I run […]

Read More
10 Long Distance Relationship Tips - How To Make It Work!

A lot of people believe that long-distance relationships are a really bad idea. In fact, if you know what you're doing with a few long distance relationship tips, you can actually make it work. As a matter of fact, long-distance relationships can work just as well and even better than regular relationships. Whatever "regular" is. […]

Read More
21 Toxic Relationship Signs & How To Fix It

If you're looking for signs of a toxic relationship, you probably suspect you have some unhealthy patterns in your relationship. Or you may want to ensure that your relationship stays healthy. By recognizing the signs of a toxic relationship, you can avoid a lot of the problems that people run into in relationships. Let's face […]

Read More
25 Texts You Should NEVER Send A Guy

When it comes to texting a guy, you need to know what texts you should never send a guy more than anything else. Mistakes in texting will earn you silence - sometimes making him ghost you. Guys interpret what you text him. And if we see any red flags, we get more cautious, more silent, […]

Read More
"Do I Love Him?" 25 Signs You're In Love (And not just infatuated)

Sometimes it’s easy to doubt your feelings. When it comes to your love relationship, you might be wondering: "Do I love him?" Is He The One? Sometimes it happens right at the very start. You meet a guy and you just click. And you think right away, I'm falling in love. Other times, you might […]

Read More
Dating a Man With Kids - What You MUST Know FIRST

It's possible that dating a man with kids is one of the most complicated things to deal with in a relationship. But it can also be one of the most gratifying and amazing accomplishments. There's a lot to be interested in. After all if you don't have kids of your own, you might like the […]

Read More
Is He Pulling Away From You? 10 Tips To Save Your Relationship

Has he stopped texting you right back? Has he stopped calling you? You might be wondering, is he pulling away from you? Maybe he's just pulling back a little bit... He isn't texting as much or calling as much... Or maybe he's pulling back a lot... Maybe he's completely ghosted you... Unfortunately this situation is […]

Read More
He Does These 7 Things If He Wants A Serious Relationship With You

What does a man want? Even more important: Do you know what he wants in a serious relationship with you? Men are truly not that complicated. When it comes to our needs in a relationship, we don't have a whole lot that you need to worry about. But you do have to be sure that […]

Read More
How To Make Him Fall In Love With You Again

There's a good chance you're reading this because you've just gone through a breakup. And the one thing you want to know is how to make him fall in love with you again. The other likely possibility is that you sense he is no longer feeling the same as he once did for you. Maybe […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram