Is your relationship failing on you? Don't know what do do?
Today's question hits on a couple areas... most importantly: What influence does a man's family have on him?
DATING AND RELATIONSHIP QUESTION FROM A READER:
I have been going through your e-mail and this is the first time I am writing to anyone for relationship advice.
There is a guy whom I really love a lot. We were in a relationship for almost an year. Everything was amazing. He really loved me a lot and cared for me. We were so happy together until family issues started at his place and we broke up.
After our break up we were still in touch until one day I discovered that he had developed feelings for his best friend, though she was not interested in him. He tried contacting me several times, but after knowing this I completely stopped talking to him.
He kept on texting me and after 6 months I gave up and responded to his message. He was like, "I know I have done wrong and I am sorry" and all that.
He says that he can't stop talking to me, but we can't be together as his family wont agree and he does not want to hurt me again.
I don’t understand what to do as he keeps coming and going. It seems he still has feelings for me as he remembers each and every moment that we spent together but is afraid of commitment due to family pressures but at the same time I feel that somewhere he is still trying for the other girl who has also stopped talking to him now.
We come close and every time I think everything is now fine, he pulls back again. I really need to know if he loves me and what can I do to get him back and get his love and care back. He is a Libran if that helps any bit.
CARLOS CAVALLO ANSWERS:
Well, it's good to hear from you, Ellie... It's nice to know that you trusted me to field this question...
I sense you're probably already aware of what's going on with him. Your perception is probably right on the money:
- He's still after this woman who he can't have (and doesn't want him, obviously)
- He has some serious family issues that have nothing (really) to do with you
He *could* be using those "family issues" as an excuse, as some men will do.
If he wants to be with you, he'd already be ignoring his family. But now it sounds like he's also leveraging that as a convenient excuse.
The other part of this equation is that there is only so much I can do for you in an email.
It sounds as if you're not working according to any plan or proven method to stop him from pulling away from you.
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