How To Tell If A Guy Likes You
He might be that cool guy at work, or that guy that serves you up your iced coffee in the morning…
He might be the guy who sits next to you in class, or the guy that got hired at your company last month.
Whoever HE is, you’re wondering if he likes you, and if there’s any romantic interest on his part.
How can you tell? Are there any signals?
Let’s get this out of the way right off the bat: He probably won’t say he likes you directly, but his signals will be clear that he likes you – when he gives them.
And let’s be perfectly honest here, a guy that tells you directly that he likes you has to be pretty darn confident and secure, or he’s going to come across as needy and desperate – and a huge turn-off.
It’s a fine line.
I know you’re probably dying to know when a man is interested in you, and when he’s just making polite conversation.
So I’m going to share a bunch of indications that a guy likes you so you can recognize them when they happen…
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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Does he like you? Signal #1 is: He’s asking a ton of questions.
Look, guys don’t mean to interrogate you, but most men understand that they need to put a lot of energy into a conversation to keep it going.
It’s not natural for guys to make small talk and chit-chat for long. We have a different kind of conversational dynamic.
He’s asking questions to keep the vibe going, which is a clear signal he’s trying to get you talking.
And he’s probably also hoping you’ll bring up something that he shares in common with you.
That will give him a connection with you that he’s looking for.
Now the first thing is that you can’t assume that his cues mean the same thing as your cues. Take it at face value that if he’s trying to ask a lot of questions, he’s probably interested.
Most guys just let the conversation fade out if there’s no interest there.
One thing you can do is help him out. If you think he likes you, then you might want to give him some ammunition to keep the conversation moving.
This is one of the common complaints from guys is that they feel like they’re doing all the work when trying to keep a conversation going.
Now, I’m sure most of this complaint comes from guys who are talking to women who aren’t all that interested in them, but sometimes shyness can go too far as well.
If you’re the kind of woman who loses her chatty ability when a guy comes along, you have to work to overcome this.
Could this guy be interested in you? #2 sign is: He approached you.
It takes a TON of effort on a guy’s part to walk up and talk to a woman. It’s probably the single most difficult thing a guy can do – next to giving himself a root canal.
And some guys would prefer the dental work.
Why is it so difficult?
Well, not to be flippant, but go walk up to some guy you want to meet today.
Go ahead. Go start a conversation with him.
Some women might not shrink from this challenge, but most would understand how vulnerable this situation makes you feel.
Mostly because you have to open yourself up to the big “R”…
What if he doesn’t respond to you?
What if other people see you two talking, or see that he isn’t interested in you?
The possibilities seem frightening, don’t they?
Even though there’s NO real penalty to rejection, it’s the most frightening thing our minds can conjure.
And for men, it’s doubly so.
He has to risk his reputation – along with his masculinity and ego – just to come over and talk to you.
Men are hardwired to fear rejection from the opposite sex at a primal level.
Because, for a man, it could mean the death of his genetic legacy. If he can’t meet, court, and obtain a mate, he could end up childless.
(Yeah, we men are actually considering children a lot more than you might think.)
So take this one signal as being a bona-fide “hell yeah” when he comes up to talk to you.
Maybe, he likes me. Sign #3 that a guy is interested: His body language says, “Yeah, baby…”
There are a lot of subtle body language signals that will tell you he’s interested. The first one is that he’s mirroring or pacing yours.
What this means is, he’s subconsciously trying to “vibe” with you. So he falls in sync with you by mirroring your posture and how you stand.
What he’s trying to do (below his conscious level of awareness) is say to you: “Hey, we’re similar. You don’t need to fear me. I’m safe.”
He will also lean in and make it a point to either touch you in some way, or just delicately get into your personal space. (If he’s had a few too many drinks, it might not be so delicate… but the intention is the same.)
His body language also includes his eyes. So if you notice his eyes wandering a bit, there’s no need to take offense.
He’s just allowing himself to appreciate your femininity.
There’s something even more important than these “Does he like me” signals. It’s something I call the “Hell Yeah!” attitude.
You want to know if he likes you. Of course… But even more than that, you need to know if he will take ACTION based on this feeling.
Have you ever felt like you were strung along by guys who “just aren’t that into you?”
Like he’s only putting in a minimum of effort?
And maybe… he’s just waiting for someone better to come along?
Well, I discovered something that can help you put an end to that.
“Hell Yeah” is the attitude that a person gives off when they’re REALLY into doing something. I’m sure you’ve experienced this at some point or another.
Maybe it was a food you ate that lit up every taste bud in your tongue. Your eyes went wide with amazement.
And your thoughts said, “Hell, yeah! This is great! Give me another one…”
Maybe it was a car you took out for a test drive at a car lot. You got behind the wheel and it felt like this care was made just for you.
It was comfortable, stylish, in the right color and at the right price. “Hell, yeah! I love it! I’m buying it!”
Maybe it was a pair of shoes that fit absolutely perfectly. The color was perfect, and the style made your outfit.
The first time one of your girlfriends complimented you on them (with just a tinge of jealousy), you thought: “Hell YEAH! I love these shoes. I’m buying another outfit just to go with them…”
But most importantly, the “Hell Yeah” attitude is what you want on a date with a new guy… and you know he shares that feeling with you, too.
It’s that feeling of “no doubt” that hits you – and him – and tells you that you want to see this person again.
It’s an inspired feeling – that you’re not all wishy-washy about. You don’t have those cautious feelings, like you should REALLY take it slow.
You just want to jump off the end of the diving board and yell “canon ball!”
It doesn’t have to be a crazy feeling, either. It’s not even “love at first sight.”
Just a good feeling that tells you that you can just stop overthinking and give this one a green light.
And it’s a two-way street. He’s got to have that kind of attitude for you.
In some ways, this is a requirement for YOU to feel the same way.
Because if he’s not that into it, you’re going to be the one chasing him, and we both know that’s not how you want to do it.
We tend to go after people we feel “so-so” about because of two reasons:
1 – We’re feeling low self-esteem and lonely.
Yeah, we’ve all been there. But you don’t want that feeling to put you in a relationship that you’re not excited about.
2 – We figure it’s better than nothing.
Which is still related to low self-esteem and loneliness…
And this decision usually begins the long, slow slide into mediocrity and boredom.
We’ve all seen relationships that started out with a yaaaaaaawwwwn…instead of a “Hell Yeah!” And they’re as different as night and day.
And this rule of “Hell Yeah” is good not just in romantic relationships. It’s applicable to friendships as well.
In fact, I think even MORE so than other kinds of relationships, simply because our circle of friends has the single biggest impact on our life than anything else.
You might be familiar with this informal test:
Average your 5 closest friends – their income, happiness, and relationship quality. And you’re probably right there in the middle.
Our peer group has the most impact on our quality of life, so accepting any friends into your life that elicit anything less than “Hell Yeah” are limiting your options.
I know better than anyone how it feels to both leave friendships and have friendships leave me behind. But ultimately, those changes worked out for the better.
The friendships I lost urged me into some self-analysis and improvement. The ones I left behind I knew would have only held me back.
And it freed my time up to pursue the things in life that really mattered.
So when it comes to making your choices in friendships – or romance – you both need to be “Hell Yeah” about it. Stop wasting your time with people that aren’t “all in” on your relationship.
Don’t settle for lukewarm attitudes about the one thing in life that you should engage on all levels – LOVE.
If you’d like to know more signals – more ways to read him and know what he’s thinking, you should take a look at this: