Talking Trash About Love: Everything that drives you crazy about relationships…
Episode 1: Flaky People, Strong Women, and Spending Time with @$$holes…
I’m starting a new segment here that I hope will resonate with you…
I want to uncover and highlight all the stuff we normally try to pretend isn’t there when it comes to love and relationships.
In this episode (and in the subsequent youtube video as well), I want to talk about a few things that irritate us about relationships…
And – yes – LOVE.
Most of the time, love is awesome. Love rocks…
But some of the time – love sucks.
So let’s talk trash about it.
First off – my biggest pet peeve is flaky people.
You know them, right? The people that are so enthusiastic about you when you’re around them. You’d swear you had a magical soul-connection that spans time itself.
But when it finally comes time to throw down and have a date, these people flake out on you.
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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Now, I’m also pretty fed up with people who flake on me in general. I don’t hold on to unreliable friends. I suppose that’s why I’m just fine with a few close friends than a whole crowd of “sorta-friends.”
I value sincerity above all – and part of that feeling of being sincere is a belief that if they’re really a friend, they’ll show up.
And they mean what they say.
So, I’m probably a bit idealistic when it comes to this stuff.
It’s just that when someone fails to show up for something, or makes an empty promise, I don’t feel their loyalty is there. And if that’s not there, what kind of friend would they be?
A lot of talk in articles these days is about female empowerment. Now, I am all for advancing women’s rights.
These things seem to come in surges.
- We had an early surge when it came to the right to vote…
- Then we had a surge during “first wave” feminism…
- Then we had a surge during “women in the workplace” in the 80s
- Now we’re having a new surge in this decade of moral outrage and activism…
Not to mention some really contentious political stuff.
Now call me crazy, but this is kind of the thinking we should all have anyway. Guys don’t want to be around jerks any more than women do. Neither gender should have to put up with annoying, douchey people, right?
The idea behind this is something that I use as a personal affirmation – and I teach to all my clients:
“You are always better off alone than with the wrong person…”
I have yet to talk to a person who didn’t agree with this line of thinking after they had shed the emotional withdrawal of an unhealthy relationship. Sure, during that crappy period where you can’t stop crying, you have your doubts about the truth of that.
But ultimately we can all look back on our dating life and breathe a sigh of relief that we didn’t end up with some of the losers we’ve found ourself dating.
And the other reality is that most breakups NEED to happen to make us more date-able in the future.
No one just KNOWS this dating and relationship stuff. It comes to you after years and years of failures. In fact, successful relationships are sculpted by failure.
I think my biggest problem is this general term “strong woman.” I mean, we should all be strong, but this one is kind of glossed over.
What makes a “Strong woman“?
Is it her attitude?
Is it her self-esteem?
Is it her “independence”? And what does that even mean?
I think most refer to the ability of a woman to endure her life without the support of a man, in many ways.
What do you think?
Comment below –
And what do you think? Should I lighten up about people flaking on me and just accept it as part of the game?