What Men Want - 3 Things Every Man Wants From A Woman
By: Carlos Cavallo
You ever find yourself talking to a girlfriend - and you just throw your hands up in the air, saying:
"Geez, what is it with these guys... What do men want from us?"
I'll bet that's probably happened more times than you want to admit.
Here's a little secret you'd never guess: Men ask the same thing, too!
What I'm going to reveal to you here are 3 things that every guy wants from a woman, but probably doesn't know how to tell you. To be brutally honest, he might not even think about telling you this because he assumes you'd already know.
Or maybe you SHOULD know.
You see, guys assume that you already know this stuff. Just like most women assume that guys should already know what YOU want.
But that's the trick - and it's the number one problem between men and women today:
- Women assume that men are simply women that are misbehaving.
- Men assume that women are just being women, and we don't expect you to be like us. We've accepted the Mystery Of Women, and leave it at that.
There will be a lot of women who aren't cool with that, but will eventually realize that it's often very true. There isn't widespread acceptance among women that guys just plain "think differently."
Women have been scientifically shown to have a pre-disposition to something called The Fallacy of ME.
Here's what this little interesting psychological illusion does to our thinking:
Each person is immersed in their own point of view. We see through the lens of our needs and desires.
We also do NOT always relate well to the needs and desires of others when they differ. "Why can't they be more like me?" this tiny chunk of our mind says.
After all, it's clear that what I experience must be the same thing other people experience.
But it's really not at all.
We all have an independent, and often different take on things. We have different belief systems, that were created by growing up with different parents, a different environment, and different experiences.
And we also usually assume that a different gender wouldn't think that much differently that us, right?
Women will then talk to other women to clarify this, and discover - shockingly - that all women seem to have very similar needs. And usually similar *complaints* about guys.
So that means there MUST be something wrong with them, right?
After all, 4 Billion women can't all be wrong.
And a woman's needs seem so rational and obvious on the surface.
Some things women want but can't seem to get are:
- Get him to desire a committed relationship
- Get him to talk about his feelings (is it really that hard?)
- Get him to work on the "relationship" as much as you do
- Get him to talk about whatever he's thinking... after all, I do it all the time. It's so easy...!
- Get him to clean up around the house. And if he doesn't, asking him a few dozen times should do the trick...
Men can't be THAT much different than women, after all. And all the stuff you want is so logically... RIGHT. I mean, how could he NOT want these things?
Well, rather than try to explain this from the perspective of a woman's needs (I already covered this completely in my Connection Code program, by the way...), I want to open up a guy's skull and show you what's really rattling around in there.
No, we're not going to do any yucky exploratory surgery - just some revelations from the Mind of Men...
Here are 3 things men want from women, that you probably didn't know about. And please keep in mind that if you say, "Huh? Why would he want THAT?" - keep in mind that he often says that about *your* needs, too.
Let's jump in, and count 'em down:
#3 Thing Men Want From Every Woman: Talk To Me Like A Man
No, I don't mean make crude fart jokes and use our lingo... We'd actually find that kinda gross and weird if you did.
What "Talk Like A Man" means is that you need to understand that men do not communicate the same way women do.
Very often, a woman's dialogue has a lot of extra detail - emotional and random thought details - that he simply doesn't need to hear to process the situation.
For example: When you talk to a girlfriend, she's taking in all the details you can give her to recreate the emotional situation in her mind.
She's taking in all your random observations, your random thoughts, and she's creating a "simulator" of you in her head.
This is one of the most miraculous and wondrous abilities a woman has.
She has more of what they call "mirror neurons" that allow you to actually step into another person's shoes and experience them from the inside out.
Guys don't do this.
We look at the situation from an objective angle, make a few calculations, and come up with a judgment on the situation - complete with a plan of action.
That's why men hear women just trying to explain something (a woman's way of connecting) - and they offer a solution. Which makes you think he didn't hear you at all.
He really did, he's just taking a male approach to it.
So recognize that a man's patience for talking is very limited. And the more emotions that this conversation asks him to experience, the more exhausting he will find it.
If you can save the emotional tangents and keep your talk as "straight-to-the-point" as possible, the more likely you will be to keep his attention.
It's not that he doesn't want to relate to all your detail - he just CAN'T.
And asking him to do what your girlfriends do is a recipe for disaster.
If you do want to just vent about something that happened to you at work today, and none of your girlfriends are around, just preface your conversation with him by letting him know it's "just a vent."
He'll know how to handle it that way.
#2 Thing Men Want From Every Woman: Remember that men want to be respected and admired MORE than they want to be loved.
Most women value being loved as their single most important need. Love and connection tops the list of almost every woman's list.
But here's the craziest thing you ever hear, and it will probably blow your mind...
Love and connection is not what he wants most.
He wants to be respected and admired more. That's how a man feels "loved."
It's more important for him to feel that he's appreciated for what he does for you - or even for the family.
Now, if you didn't know this fact, you could make a LOT of mistakes with him.
By assuming that he wants love, and you communicate that feeling to him all the time because it's your primary need... well that could leave him feeling empty and distant.
There's that Fallacy of Me again. We all assume the other person must want what we want, so we give them what we want in the hopes of getting it back.
And when we don't, we scratch our heads and wonder why.
Have you ever thought, "Geez, I'm giving him everything he could want... and he still keeps pulling away!"
What we don't often do is to step back and think about if that is what the other person REALLY wants. We just assumed they did based on what we need in a relationship.
Again, a man needs love in a specific "language" for him to feel like he's really connected to you. And that language is respect and admiration.
If you look around today, you'll see that there's not much of it out there for men. In fact, being a man is almost punishable in many ways.
So keep in mind that if he feels like you really respect who he is as a man, and that you admire him for qualities that he thinks others overlook, you've got an express train into his heart.
Which leads me to:
The #1 Thing Men Want From Every Woman: Know how to get close to his heart - and how NOT to
As I've pointed out so far, most women are very attuned to their own needs in a relationship, and often make the mistake of thinking that it must be the same for men.
(Again the Fallacy of Me... it just keeps coming up.)
You have to know how to get close to a man - and it's not the way you see on television or in the movies.
In fact, most movies devote very little time to explaining how that works at all. You might have noticed.
Instead, they spend an hour showing what a complete fool this guy is before he wises up and is motivated by her beauty and charm to change into a respectable gentleman. And THAT transformation is shown to be the reason she falls for him.
Hey, it makes for a fun romp, a cute little story. Do you think that's the way it works in real life, however?
It lacks any real attention to the part that matters - the chemistry and the passion-building.
Movies and television play up the sexual tension ("they can't be together - but they MUST!"), while ignoring the reality that it's not just who you are that attracts a person. They also need to know how you fit their life and their needs.
Real life attraction between two people is actually a very predictable pattern that you can recreate at will.
EXAMPLE: If love was a roadmap, there are many different ways to get to the destination. But if you don't know which way is the shortest, you run the risk of another savvy woman getting there first - and stealing your man away from you.
If you just blindly pick a route without knowing what those road conditions are, you could run into a dead end - or worse - LOST.
There are road hazards, and detours...
Okay, I'm done with my clever road metaphor. You get my point, right?
You can subscribe to the fantasy of movies and television - and books... or you can find out how real life connection and love is built.
If you're interested in getting a detailed copy of this "roadmap" to a man's heart, I suggest you get the whole story now, instead of waiting for another "road hazard" to take you by surprise.
Men are pretty uncomplicated when it comes right down to it. But you'd never know it if you listened to many of the would-be self-help authors out there.
Luckily, there is a path you can follow to success. And it's written by the best kind of authority on guys: A man.
Do you know how to connect with him? REALLY connect with him so that all he thinks about all day long is how to get with you?
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