Why Won’t He Ask You Out – 3 Reasons
Back in the “old days,” if there was a guy you liked, and you knew he was interested in you – you waited for him to ask you out.
Nowadays, you might be wondering, “Why won’t he ask me out?” Days and weeks go by, and this guy still hasn’t done it.
Well, first of all, guys today aren’t made like they used to in days of yore. They don’t have the balls of steel that men once had.
Sorry to say that most guys now are more hesitant and fearful.
What’s he afraid of?
Plain and simple.
Of course, no one likes rejection. While women can relate to a man’s fears of rejection, only a man feels this particular fear as deeply as he does.
It’s actually in his DNA – programmed in.
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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You see, there was a time – way back in the days of hunting woolly mammoths and painting in caves – when rejection could have meant that he didn’t get to have kids. If he didn’t have kids, his genetic legacy would have ended with him.
And if his tribe rejected him, he could be in a dire situation. His very survival could be on the line.
So rejection was serious business.
But there’s more to it than this – and I want you to fully understand the other reasons why a guy might not ask you out.
Let me tell you about one of the reasons you might hear that is completely FALSE:
BAD ADVICE: “He’s not asking you out because he’s just gotten out of a relationship…”
This is nonsense. Balderdash!, I say!
RULE: If a guy digs you and finds you attractive, HE WILL TAKE ACTION.
In fact, that’s how you know when a guy is into you. He’s still taking ACTION.
We DO something when we’re genuinely motivated. And I don’t care how fresh he is out of that relationship (well, okay, maybe not within a day or so) – he will act on his desire.
That’s the ONLY sign you can trust! Otherwise, you’d be pulling your hair out analyzing him and looking for secret signs.
If you doubt this, let me ask you – if you were recently out of a relationship, but found a guy you really liked – would you let that stop you from going out with him? Nope.
Here are 3 Reasons this guy won’t grow a pair and ask you out:
Why he’s not busting a move – REASON #1: He’s waiting for a sign…
Guys wait a long time for a serious indication that you’re interested in him. He might find you attractive, but he hasn’t found the words to go with that feeling.
He’s going to make a long list of signs that you find him worthy before he’s going to start thinking about how to do it.
For a lot of guys, this means he’s probably going to appear to you as if he’s NOT interested. You’ll wonder, what’s wrong with this guy?
And rightfully so. It looks chicken$#!+
So don’t underestimate the value in putting it out there that you’re interested.
But here’s a warning: Don’t do his job for him!
If you step up and do the asking, you’re going to be very unhappy. And there’s a very high probability that it will kill the romance before it even has a chance to get started.
I’ll explain this more in a minute, but be warned that you NEVER ask a man out…
Even if you think you’d have no problem making it happen.
If he doesn’t step up now, you’ll always be uncertain about the relationship.
Why he’s not asking you out – REASON #2: He’s blown away…
Guys are genuinely in awe of the feminine.
When we meet a woman we like or find attractive, the first thing we have to deal with is our own overwhelm.
Femininity overwhelms the average guy. In a good way…
He’s trying to take in everything about you that makes him feel the way he does. Most women are unaware that men feel this urge to put you up on a pedestal this way.
And that it comes from our inner “stun” mechanism that happens when a woman’s beauty and presence floods our system.
He’s trying to sort out feelings and desire he may not know how to handle.
And he doesn’t like feeling out of control, either. Which means he may just slow himself down while he figures out what to do.
But this shouldn’t last too long. Give him a little time to get over it.
Then it’s totally reasonable to expect him to step up and bust his move.
If not… his loss.
Why he’s not asking for your phone number – REASON #3: He’s just not that into you…
Look, sometimes a guy can be genuinely entertained with you, to the point of almost seeming like he’s flirting. But ultimately, he’s just enjoying your company.
There may not be any real spark there for him.
Or he just hasn’t seen enough of you to make up his mind. He might be feeling things out a bit more.
Or he’s just clueless that there’s interest from you…
But if you’re sure he’s got a thing for you – like he mentioned his interest to one of your friends – then you just need to hang in there a bit and open doors of opportunity for him.
Just let him walk through them to get to you.
Remember that the worst thing you can do is to accept his ambivalence. If he’s running hot and cold… acting like he’s not quite suuuure….
Just get on with your life.
Otherwise, you’ll be the one falling for him, and he’ll be this wuss that can’t seem to get it together.
I want to repeat my warning from before – because it’s so darn important:
Don’t steal his thunder!
Let HIM do the asking.
Mostly because it’s his job. But you’d also be left wondering if he just went along with you, or if he was actually going to do it himself.
The only way to know is to LET HIM DO IT.
He MUST overcome his own fear to make it happen with you, or else you’d take over the masculine part of the relationship for him. And that would be about as satisfying as … well… dating yourself.
Sure, it could take FOREVER for this to happen. But if you step in and do it for him, it would be the first step in turning into his new mom.
Ultimately, though, it’s most likely that he’s a bit inexperienced with women and just doesn’t want to make a mistake that would screw up his chances with you.
So he gets all caught up in his “fraidy cat” conversation in his head.
One strategy you can use to get him moving again is to have one of your friends – or one of his – give him a nudge in the right direction.
If it’s someone you’ve been around or are connected to, it’s about all you can do.
Just remember that if something doesn’t happen fairly quickly, you’ll naturally lose your interest in him. So it’s time for him to man-up and get this show started.
REMEMBER: A man isn’t a man if he’s thinking about it all the time. He’s got to be DOING it.
Otherwise, he’s only good on paper. And that doesn’t help you one bit.
Guys can be tricky like that. Sometimes, they want to connect with you but don’t know how to do it properly.
Which is where a lot of miscommunication and misaligned expectations come from.
But what if he’s TRYING to connect with you…but you can’t see it?
You read that right. There are a lot of cases where women misread a guy’s signals and end up missing out on what could have been a great relationship.
You see, guys have a distinct way of connecting with their partner – something know as their Connection Style – and this is crucial to know. Once you’ve learned a guy’s specific style (there are FIVE of them), you’ll have NO trouble putting his fears and hesitations at ease.
I have a video that shows you how to do this so he’ll have no reason NOT to make a move. Some guys just need the right push, and I’ve got just the thing to help you.