Dating Advice Guru - Relationship advice

Your Perfect Guy Doesn’t Exist

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

Over the past few years, I’ve come to know what women want in a man. Or more specifically, what they think they want in a man.

I’ve heard from countless clients and female friends who their ideal man is, and their checklists have one thing in common: they’re too stringent.

All of these conversations have made it clear to me that the more elaborate the archetype is, the harder it will be for a woman to find a real-life guy.

a 300x181 Your Perfect Guy Doesn’t Exist

In short, your perfect guy is going to wreck your dating life.

“What do you know about what women want, Carlos?” you might ask. “Every woman has a right to have standards!”

And I totally agree with you. Women should have standards for the men they date.

It’s just that the concept of the Perfect Guy has nothing to do with having standards.

Ghosts of Partners Past

Lynn, a friend of mine, recently told me about the guy she dreamed of marrying: “After being through my previous relationships, I can’t see myself dating someone who doesn’t have the flexibility to choose his working hours.”

Then she continued, “I just think it’s important in a relationship for the people involved to be there for each other. So if my guy isn’t an architect, writer, photographer, entrepreneur or have some other flexible occupation, that’s a red light for me.”

thinking woman 620x349 300x168 Your Perfect Guy Doesn’t Exist

And that, to me, was the crux of her problem. The perfect guy that existed in Lynn’s mind was actually a personification of her frustrations from the past.

She, and like many other women I know, have unconsciously created their “perfect guy checklist” based on previous relationships.

Like any experience, it’s important to learn from what happened so you can avoid making the same mistakes. However, that’s not the same as projecting your hang-ups on a relationship-to-be.

I got the feeling that Lynn had dated a guy who was a workaholic. It probably meant they didn’t spend as much time together as she wanted, or his career got too much in the way.

So I’m seeing a lot of these women who pin a complex set of requirements on what’s essentially a unicorn in the dating world.

The worst part is that this kind of criteria often comes from a place of anger and resentment. And this is why Lynn wouldn’t have any reassurance of long-term happiness even if she found a guy that matched her ideal archetype.

Meeting someone who fits your perfect guy checklist to T isn’t a magic antidote that will make your past hang-ups go away.

Dealing With Your Deal Breakers

Like I said, having standards is fine. In fact, you should filter out guys who are abusive, dishonest and otherwise unfit for a relationship.

What isn’t ok is if you’re inadvertently shutting yourself off from someone wonderful just because he doesn’t live up to a guy that doesn’t exist.

No amount of unrealistic and non-essential requirements will protect you from the unpredictability of dating. One client told me her perfect guy “should be 6”6, watch Game of Thrones, drive a VW and have a German Shepherd/Labrador mixed breed.”

Banner 2 240x400 180x300 Your Perfect Guy Doesn’t Exist

“Ohhhkaay,” I told her. “Do you really need ALL those qualities to be happy with a guy? It wouldn’t hurt to let some of that stuff slide.”

There’s no real benefit in immediately rejecting a guy based on superficial stuff that isn’t a real basis for a healthy relationship anyway.

So, my advice to you is to open up your world and step out of your comfort zone. As long as you don’t feel that dating a certain guy goes against your core moral principles, have the courage to take that risk.

And if you want to get a guy to fall for you, you should start learning about his unique Connection Style. Once you create that powerful and lasting connection (which is surprisingly easy), you’ll be perfect for each other even if he isn’t Mr. Perfect.

Check out how to do this now.

Yours In Perfect Passion...

- Carlos Cavallo

When You're Texting A Guy And He Stops Replying - Ghosted

Nothing is more frustrating - and more common, it seems - than the experience of texting a guy and he stops replying to you. You get GHOSTED. It sounds like some kind of supernatural disease - GHOSTING... but it's one of the most common dating experiences these days. In fact, it's become pretty common for […]

Read More
How To Make Him Regret Leaving You - Or Losing You! (Or Dumping You!)

Breakups are heart-wrenching - and most women would love to know how to make him regret leaving you - or just make him regret dumping you in the first place. And sometimes you just want him to know what he's missing out on. How stupid he was for letting go of you... Yeah, it may […]

Read More
When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument - What To Do!

Have you ever had a guy stop talking to you after you get into a disagreement? What do you do when a guy ignores you after an argument? There's nothing more frustrating than getting the silent treatment.  You feel ignored, minimized, and very small. It also feels like you're abandoned. I'm pretty sure each of […]

Read More
"I Miss My Ex Boyfriend - And I Want Him Back!" What To Do - 17 Tips...

It's probably every woman's worst fear: the breakup. And then you find yourself texting your friends: "I Miss My Ex Boyfriend - And I Want Him Back!" Everything probably started out fantastic between you. You had great dates, great fun, great bedroom action... And then things started to cool off. He didn't text you as […]

Read More
Are You Giving Up On Love? Read This First...

There's no doubt that Love can be frustrating... For some people, it drives them crazy. Maybe that's you - are you giving up on love? Well don't do it until you read this article! This isn't going to be some empty cheerleading, or some rah-rah speech. Sometimes the one thing we need most when we […]

Read More
21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

It can be tricky talking to men when you don't know what to say. You might find yourself stuck in silence wondering what to talk about. The best solution is to have questions to ask a guy that get him interested in you. If you know what questions to ask, you can make him feel […]

Read More
I Can't Stop Thinking About Him! - 3 Reasons He's On Your Mind

Whether you are thinking about your newest crush, or have anxiety about your recent break up and don’t know how to stop thinking about someone, this article is for you! “I can’t stop thinking about him!” – Having a crush on a guy isn’t easy… Have you ever been in a situation where you can’t […]

Read More
Dating An Older Man - 17 Secrets You Should Know

If you're thinking of dating an older man, you probably want to know what to expect. There are a lot of things you need to know in order to date older men. Both positive things - and some challenges you should be aware of. You may have a lot of questions, such as: What is […]

Read More
Dating A Divorced Man? 7 Tips You MUST Know...

Dating a divorced man? Before you get too far in the relationship, there are things you must know. Divorced dating is challenging, there's no doubt about that. But if you have the right information, you can date a guy after divorce and make it work. Dating today is definitely different than it used to be. […]

Read More
Playing Hard To Get - 7 Secrets You Never Learned...

Let's start right off by saying that there is a big difference between playing hard to get and being hard to get. Most women play at it but don't understand how to really BE the prize.  Because that's what it's really all about: You have to make yourself the prize to your man for him […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram