The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

By: Carlos Cavallo

Guys are pretty consistent...

Yeah, you read that right. We're consistent and fairly predictable.

Many women don't want to believe this, and I can certainly understand why.

If you've ever had a guy start out hot and heavy with you - all excited - then he seems to go cold and distant, and eventually disappears, you know why men can feel so iffy.

how to meet a guy The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

Don't let a few bad apples ruin the whole barrel for you...

  • He started out interested, you were texting each other nonstop...
  • You date...
  • You've got some great chemistry...
  • Another date and you two seem like you're meant to be...

Could he be the one?

Then the texting slows down, and the dates mellow out.

how to get a guy to like you The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

"Why isn't he picking up...?"

What's going on? you wonder. And you might get that uneasy feeling in your stomach.


You don't want this guy to ghost you. It all starts to feel like he's playing games.

So what do you do?

First of all, you have to realize that the first few months - even up to six months - is a very fragile time. It's when most women over-invest in a man and don't realize he's not at the same place you are.

You might be 100% ready to move forward and he's still playing it cautious. You two may seem to be on the same page as far as the feelings, but not in your commitment. So you need to play it cool.

So let's look into why this happens...

Here are 3 Reasons That Men Lose Interest in your relationship:

REASON #1: Something Unpredictable Happened

Men are weirded out by major life challenges.

If we haven't quite committed to you yet, and we meet up with a serious life challenge, you're probably going to be the one to get sacrificed. You'll have to spend some time on the sideline while he deals with his challenges.

It doesn't mean we don't love you or care for you, or that what you had wasn't real. It's just that men are very single-minded when it comes to their life problems.

When he has one, he needs to meet it on the battlefield.

Often, alone.

relationship tips for women The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

Let him work on it, then he'll be right as rain...

  • Could be a death in the family...
  • Personal finance crisis...
  • Crunch time at work...
  • The sex might have gotten a little weird... (Yeah, you really need to jive with him on this one)

And yes, you know you could be such a source of loving support...

And yes, you want the chance to nurture and help him...

And yes, you wish YOU were his #1 priority...

... but that isn't quite where his head is at.

Before Commitment (B.C.), he's going to want to wrestle this challenge to the ground and conquer it by himself. He doesn't feel right dragging you into it.

You're going to have to handle this frustration as best you can and be patient.

Mostly because if you push too hard when he's in this crisis mode, he'll just walk away. It will feel too pushy and probably freak him out.

It's not the kind of thing you really have any control over, sorry to say. Which is why it throws so many women for a loop.

To have invested time and emotion into him and have him walk away just seems so disappointing and pointless.

But if you hang in there, he could very well return to you once he's got his life back in order.

how to make a guy like you The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

Sometimes, he just needs to work stuff out...

The best you can do is to tell him you *might* be around, but you're going to give him some space - let him do what needs to be done. This is a relief for him to hear and will take the pressure off him.

If you can honestly wait it out, you'll be rewarded with a big chunk of loyalty from him when he's handled his challenge.

Don't put your life completely on hold, though. Get back out and meet other people. Just keep him as a possible restart in a few weeks.

Reason #2: He wasn't all that into you...

There are a lot of reasons a guy will date you...

  • Sometimes a guy is just bored and wants to just date for a bit - and you were available...
  • Sometimes he actually really likes you, but he spotted some problem areas that he's not sure will work out - like sexual compatibility, or taste in pets...
  • Sometimes he wants kids or knows that YOU want kids, and your timelines aren't working...

Yeah, you wish he'd just be up front about it, but he figured it was all just casual since you two didn't really ever talk about what you were looking for.

This is a common problem with dating couples. The guy want's something, but won't say what because he's not really sure himself what he actually wants.

how to meet a man The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

There's more going on under the surface than we're aware of...

And the woman wants something definite but has been told to not rush things or push her agenda too soon. She doesn't want to scare him off.

But then weeks turn into months, and unspoken agendas come to the surface.

Eventually, you have to be able to find a way to talk about your relationship direction. (This is something I talk about in my Connection Code program.)

You don't want to rush it, but you do need a confident way to bring it up when the time is right.

If he's not into you, you need to find that out. Sooner rather than later

And you'd be surprised, a lot of men you think are perfect for you to start your family with aren't really the right match for you. He's too much of a 'fixer-upper.'

So get picky. YES you

YES you can afford to be picky if you're getting out in the market and actively meeting men on a regular basis. The funny thing about being picky is that the pickier you are, the more opportunities seem to come up.

Men can sense when a woman is selective. And take it from me, we men don't find that too often in a woman.

how to make a guy fall in love with you The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

Eenie, meeny, minie, moe...

Our experience is that many women will simply jump into a commitment to HAVE the commitment, not because there is a real magical connection.

So when a woman starts to eye us with a bit of choosiness, we respond by trying to up our game to get chosen. We love to compete, and we'll work for a woman that conveys an attitude of "I'm worth working for, buddy."

It's to your benefit to check in with him on where his head is at - gently at first, then more insistently later.

REASON #3: You Reversed The Chase

Imagine you're a lion on the African plains.

You're stalking your prey, and you're dreaming of a nice afternoon of munching on antelope...

You crouch through the weeds and get closer...

Just as you're about to sprint after your prey -

The antelope turns to you and sees you! It smiles manically, then sprints after... YOU!

"Hey!" the antelope yells at you. "I've been waiting for you to show up!"

She's now running at you full speed.

"Want to have lunch with me? I'm TASTY! Wait til your cubs meet me, too, this is going to be SO MUCH FUN!!!"

The lion pulls back and thinks, "Hey... WHOAH... wait a second here. This is really weird, dude."

how to attract men The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

"No thanks, I'm actually vegan...yeah, that's it..."


"I wanted lunch, but now this suddenly doesn't seem right. Uh, maybe I'm not so hungry after all."

His confusion turns to downright fear as he sees this crazed buffet wildly coming at him with Charlie Manson eyes. In moments, the normal order of things has been flipped.

Kinda crazy, huh?

But that's what happens to a guy when the woman he was once keenly interested in courting is now running after him. Full bore, no stops.

Men chase...

Women let him chase her.

That's been the order of things for eons.

Men have the demand. We desire what women have - the sex, the soft lovely curves, the warm nurturing we can't get from anywhere else.

And women have the supply.

We know it, and we actually like it this way. We LIKE being told "No, not now" when we're trying to get you into bed.

You can say: "Wait for a few more dates."

You're not saying "no way" - just not now.

A man's run away instinct is primal and automatic when women reverse the chase. When women started flipping the script on me, I would run for the hills. It was unconscious.

how to please your man The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

That's biology for ya...

I just knew it didn't feel right. After all, if she is chasing me, how could she have the goods I wanted?

Yous see - most men will not intentionally lead you on or use you for sex.


It just so happens that when a man becomes even slightly ambivalent, most women will freak out and panic. She then starts the reversal that inevitably seals the relationship's doom.

Don't let the natural dynamic get messed up like this!

No matter what you hear about in opinionated articles, men don't want you to chase them.

That's not what "equality" and empowerment is about. We're not "threatened" by women's equality in any way.

We just know it's not right when a woman is doing the chasing. It's never attractive for a woman to take up the man's role in the natural dynamic of love.

It's your guy's job to reach out and connect with you - then you can reciprocate.

what men want The 3 Reasons Men Lose Interest

Be the yin to his yang...

And did you know that men have a certain style of connecting with their partner? It's true - there are a total of five different Connection Styles that determine a huge part of a guy's personality.

It's true - there are a total of five different Connection Styles that determine a huge part of a guy's personality.

While you should let him do the chasing, you can meet him halfway by figuring out what his connection style is - here's a quick video I made that explains how to know...

Once you learn HOW he wants to connect, you'll ALSO learn how to keep him interested without overdoing it.

Click here to watch your short presentation now... 


Why Does He Keep Coming Back? When he doesn't even want a relationship?

If you've ever had a relationship that was rocky, and sometimes downright difficult, you may wonder why does he keep coming back? Is he half interested? Is he just using me? What the heck is going on? This can really drive you nuts because you feel like you have a good relationship. It's especially confusing […]

Read More
Does My Guy Friend Like Me? 16 Signs To Look For

Sometimes your guy friends might make you scratch your head. They act a little bit flirty, or maybe hold eye contact a little too long, and you start to wonder “Does my guy friend like me?” The truth is, many men try this tactic for working (sometimes weaseling) their way into a woman's heart. For […]

Read More
How To Win A Guy Over

Over the long hard Road of Romance, there's a good chance you've probably found a guy that wasn't ready to show you how much he wanted to be with you. You know you have to open his heart to you, and all you want to know is how to win a guy over. And you'd […]

Read More
Why Is He Trying To Make Me Jealous? - The Secret Psychology

Some women believe that men try to push their buttons. The truth however, it's exactly the opposite. If you're wondering “Why is he trying to make me jealous?” - then this article should help you understand him better. And I will also explain what to do if he is trying to make you jealous. Jealousy […]

Read More
How Men Test Women - Secret Tests That You Must Pass!

This is one of those things that I think every woman wants to know: How men test women. But first I have to set the record straight on something right off the bat: Men don't intentionally test women...! Now you might find that a little bit hard to believe. After all, a lot of men's […]

Read More
7 Signs He Cares About You

In today's dating world, it's hard to know if a man truly feels for you. You may find yourself looking for signs he cares about you quite often. The trickiest part is knowing for sure. We all want guarantees when it comes to relationships - especially when we're in love. But even more important, you […]

Read More
How To Get A Man To Marry You - 11 Secret Tips

If you're like most women who have been in a relationship for more than six months, you may start to wonder how to get a man to marry you. After all, marriage is the goal of a committed relationship. There are 4 big steps in any relationship: The first date The first sleepover Becoming "exclusive" […]

Read More
What Makes A Man Leave His Wife For Another Woman

What makes a man decide to leave his wife — What makes a man leave his wife for another woman? As a coach and counselor for women on dating and relationships, I often run into situations where a marriage has ended. And there's always the question about what makes a man leave his wife like […]

Read More
24 Signs He's Secretly In Love With You

Wouldn't it be great if there were secret signals that a guy likes you? Are there signs he's secretly in love with you? Well, the answer to that question is yes. No secret there. And I'm going to cover some of those secret signs here for you. The guy you're curious about might be working […]

Read More
How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

When you meet a guy or just want to start up a relationship with a man these days, you need to know how to start a conversation over text. Luckily, this isn't hard to do if you know what he is looking for. Sometimes it's hard to come up with the right thing to say, […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram