The funny thing about habits is that people often don’t know they’re doing them. When a certain pattern takes hold, they happen quietly and before you know it, a series of behaviors become ‘routine.’
But not all behaviors are positive – some can keep us from being better people, or better partners.
So today, let’s take a look at what women can do to avoid negative habits that can slowly undermine their relationship.
#1: Not Valuing His Freedom
This is the one fear that all men have when entering a relationship. In fact, it’s a dealbreaker for a man if he knows a girl is going to ‘crowd’ him or expect him to be on call 24/7.
Guys value their time alone as well, and I’ve seen a lot of relationships go awry because they felt suffocated.
Men simply aren’t built for a whole lot of emotional drama, so they’re wary of anyone who’s going to bring that into their lives.
I can appreciate the fact that a lot of women want to find that one guy they can settle down and share her life with. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that.
But guess what, guys want that too. It’s just that they’d rather have a partner who knows when to give him his space and just ‘do his own thing’ from time to time.
That’s where sexual tension comes from anyway. A little push and pull never hurt a couple.
Let him attend to his hobbies, passions and interests. The time away will keep BOTH of you energized and fun to be around each other when you see him again.
#2: Not Being Feminine Around Him
Out there in the big, bad world, we need women who are empowered, driven and can basically get stuff done.
And those are masculine qualities – something that both men and women should have to succeed in life (not to mention make the world a better place).
But as his partner, he’s also going to look for those, soft, feminine qualities as well.
It’s stuff like being emotionally sensitive, finding the joy and beauty in living and becoming a nurturing presence in his life.
If you don’t give him the gift of your feminine energy, there’s nothing to compliment his masculine essence. And this is a very important dynamic to have in your relationship.
So being the strong, independent woman that you are, don’t be afraid to show him that vulnerable side that only special people like him get to see.
He’ll feel ‘like a man’ and want to protect and keep you safe (even though he doesn’t have to).
#3: Criticizing Him To Oblivion
Men value RESPECT above everything else in a relationship – even more than sex.
When he doesn’t feel that you respect him as a person, it’s very emasculating for a guy. Sometimes, women don’t know that they’re doing it while their guy is secretly feeling wounded inside.
A typical guy would base his self-worth on basic things like his career, the people he hangs out with and his family.
It’s a common mistake for women to take jabs at these fundamentally important things, not knowing that they’re already going for the jugular.
As a man, I can tell you that you’re just going to draw blood, and it won’t be pretty.
If there is something that’s bothering you about what your guy did or said, attack the problem and not his personality.
Men respect partners who avoid going below the belt with accusations and don’t play passive-aggressive games.
Guys appreciate honesty, but within reason. For instance, tell him off along the lines of “I hated it when you ____________” or “It was really hurtful when you said __________.”
This is worlds apart from attacking him with statements like “You’re so ___________” or “I can’t believe how __________ you are.”
Calling him out on his behavior is OK. Throwing labels at him is not.
Getting a guy to stick around isn’t all that complicated. The more positive feelings there are in the relationship, the more connected he’ll feel towards you.
And if you’re interested in learning his Connection Style – a vital component in your relationship – you can learn all about it here.
Yours, in Perfect Passion,
- Carlos Cavallo