Dating Advice Guru - Relationship advice

Why Being Afraid is Unattractive

By: Carlos Cavallo
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Have you ever been hurt by a guy? Did you ever experience the soul-crushing feeling of getting dumped or turned down?

Maybe your not-so-pleasant experiences in the past have made you a bit jaded about the future.

Because of this, perhaps you get the jitters whenever you entertain the possibility of getting into a new relationship with someone – or before going on a date.

If you’ve ever been scared of getting burned like last time, it’s a perfectly normal reaction.

Fear of the unknown – or history repeating itself – is basically your brain’s knee-jerk response to a perceived threat.

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As a woman, you’re subconsciously wary in some way of dating because you wouldn’t want to end up with a loser.

After all, you have to look out for number one, right?

But you can’t shut yourself out to the infinite possibilities out there because you’re afraid. Fear is an instinct designed to protect you, but it shouldn’t rule your dating life.

Consider the following situations, and tell me if there’s a real difference between the two:

-  Shun dating altogether so you won’t get hurt, bury yourself under the bed covers and go on a Netflix binge

-   Take a risk and try your luck anyway

Either way, you’re going to feel a certain degree of anxiety.

So I say: go with option #2.

If you choose the first one, you’ll hurt yourself thinking about the unrealized possibilities, even if there’s a risk of getting hurt.

With that, you might as well take the plunge despite the risk involved.

And besides, if you continue not doing anything about it, you’ll become less and less motivated to improve your situation. You’ll only dig a deeper hole for yourself.

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That’s not the best place to be if you’re trying to be more attractive to guys!

And there’s another kind of fear that keeps women from experiencing more happiness in their lives. It’s that “all the good men are gone” mentality which gives rise to a desperate, needy attitude.

And as you probably know, neediness isn’t the most attractive of qualities to have.

NEWS FLASH: There are, in fact, plenty of quality men around!

You just need to have the right attitude to keep them around when they come along.

Picture this: you’re out on a date with a cute guy, but your brain is working overtime from thinking about the following possibilities:

-   He won't find you attractive

-   He’ll never call you after the date

-   You’ll say something dumb and turn him off

-   You’ll never find another guy like him

Look, having these fears is totally NORMAL, but it doesn’t mean you actually have to listen to them.

Instead, you can shut off your brain for a moment and take pleasure in the fact that you are, indeed, on a date with this gorgeous man.

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Maybe he won’t turn out to be the father of your children or the man of your dreams. But does it really matter at that very moment?

By cutting off those fear-driven thoughts like a toxic weed growing in your head, you’ll allow yourself to have some fun with this guy - regardless of the final outcome.

The flip side to this is that not caring will actually boost your chances of hitting it off with him!

Just look at it from his point of view: would you hang out with a girl who’s stuck in her own thoughts, acting aloof and giving off a weird vibe?

Or would you rather enjoy the company of a woman with a relaxed, warm aura that naturally draws people to her?

I think the choice is clear.

So what this all boils down to is that fear is nothing more than your brain showing you a hypothetical scenario. It doesn’t mean it will happen, and you don’t have to let fear rule your life.

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The good news is that you no longer have to be afraid, because you can do something about it.

It starts with knowing a guy’s unique Connection Style; once you’ve mastered this simple concept, you’ll blast away all the fear, anxiety and uncertainty you’ve been feeling until now. Go here to find out how.

Yours In Perfect Passion...

- Carlos Cavallo

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