Dating, as you know, is a mixed bag. Men come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes you get the occasional dud.
You've probably dated enough guys to know this first-hand. But if you're getting more bad experiences than good, maybe it's time to take a step back and look at the big picture.
Do you notice certain patterns from your past dates? Maybe you should consider the possibility that you keep running into the same type of guys who, frankly speaking, aren't ready to be in a relationship.
As a guy, I'm naturally inclined to tell you that we're not all bad. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't exercise a little caution and avoid trouble when you can.
That said, here are the top 6 types of guys you'd best steer clear of...
Don't Date This Guy #1: Shady Steve
Does talking to him feel like a court procedure? If he's giving you "safe", indirect answers that don't really answer an otherwise harmless question, this could be a red flag.
Since he's being evasive, it also means you're not entirely sure of what's going on in his personal life.
Don't confuse this with a typical guy who chooses to be a bit quiet at the beginning. Men usually don't like giving everything away because we're afraid it might freak you out too early.
However, it's a different story if you've already gone past the point of being friends and he's STILL hesitant to share the other parts of himself with you.
Here's a tip: to find out if he's the elusive type, try bringing up something he did recently, like an out of town trip. Or you could also casually ask him about his professional life, like his current or previous work.
Watch if he reacts defensively or refuses to cough up any specific details. If he's acting this way with a neutral question, imagine how he'll be in a serious conversation with you.
It pains me to restate the importance of honesty, really. It's mostly because I've had to remind a lot of women of this basic fact - chalk it up to denial I guess.
I get that. It's easy to fall for someone even though part of you knows that he's lying to your face.
Just remember this: if you're starting to see a pattern of "white lies", this could lead to him hiding bigger stuff from you later on. Lying about something that could affect your relationship should be a big no-no for you.
Besides, would you really want to connect with someone who can't even trust you enough to give you the straight dope?
Keep your radar active for unwarranted secrecy from Shady Steve...
Guy to Avoid #2: Corporate Carl (a.k.a. The Workaholic)
Any man worth your time knows he's gotta be motivated and engaged with his life in order for you to take him seriously.
In other words, we don't want women to think we're losers.
But still, you'll want to watch out for a guy whose attitude is on the extreme end of that slacker/achiever spectrum.
As attractive as your go-getter-guy might be, you might want to think twice if he's practically married to his job.
You'll notice he has that nervous, frantic energy about him. If he's not attached to his phone and checking his email or texts, he can't stop talking about work.
He might not realize it himself, but a guy like this is unavailable to actually be in a relationship.
Then again, he might be 100% aware of it, and he's just looking for a casual, no-strings attached arrangement.
Either way, that's NOT what you want.
You don't want to get involved with someone who derives his identity (or self-worth) from what he does for a living. I'm waxing a little philosophical here, but we are not our jobs or paychecks.
So, take note if he's lacking that sense of work/life balance on account of his intense devotion to his job. He isn't likely to have much room for a relationship, let alone quality time to spend with you.
There's a caveat though...
In Mr. Workaholic's defense, there is a chance he's not actually stuck in some unhealthy obsession with his job. Try to learn as much as you can about the full extent of his situation.
Who knows, he might just be paying off a massive student loan or is trying to keep his family's house from getting repossessed. If he's making an effort to make the other parts of his life work in spite of this, then don't dismiss him out of hand.
He might just be laying down the groundwork for a bigger payoff down the line, so keep that in mind.
Corporate Carl won't give you the attention you desire, so know in advance that it's not just him playing "hard to get."
Pass on This Guy #3. Triggered Tim (Mr. Fatal Attraction)
When it comes to relationships, emotional stability is non-negotiable for me.
However, I'm not talking about the occasional freakout, because we all have that.
What you DO need to keep an eye out for is when he has a habit of blowing things out of proportion. Does he regularly fly off the handle over something petty?
If you're not sure, here are some signs to consider:
- He lays into the barista for messing up his coffee.
- He treats minor annoyances as a personal attack against him (and loses his cool over it). Especially when a guy mistreats a waiter over something like that.
- He gets fired up when other men notice you.
I've had to talk to many women out of bad relationships where their partner can't stand the thought of them interacting with the opposite sex. Don't take it lightly when he gets super possessive after hearing about a male friend or co-worker.
The worst part of this behavior is that it trickles down to the other aspects of the relationship. Read on...
- If he's unreasonably jealous, don't be surprised if he will want to know your whereabouts every part the day. You'll know this by the barrage of texts, emails and voicemail.
This type of guy tends to be a control freak because he wants to "seal the deal" before someone else beats him to it. So he'll do everything he can to make sure he knows where you are at all times - and WHO you're with.
The best way to weed out this guy is by trying a little radio silence. See what he does after minimizing communication with him for even a couple of days.
If he starts flooding you with his "WHERE R U???" messages, you know what to do...
Triggered Tim is easily a stalker wannabe, and not the kind that will make you feel loved.
Stay tuned for next week as I reveal the other three guys you shouldn't date (PLUS a little bonus for you at the end...).
Granted that it takes some practice to spot these warning signs, it does help to know about them as early as NOW.
But here's a thought - what if you could read a guy inside out, and not just the red flags? Then you could quickly figure out how he REALLY feels about you and make the right move.
It's great position to be in, and I've got a new program to help you understand a man's hidden signals. Once you find out where he stands with you, you can take next step and make him yours - for GOOD.
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