START HERE - RELATIONSHIP GUIDES:
Relationship Tips & Advice
But if you know how to read them, men are the most transparent and easy to understand.
So let me share with you 5 signs that a guy is into you.
If he knows you're interested and avoids you... well, that's a fairly big sign he's trying to avoid getting your hopes up.
When a man initiates the start of a conversation with you, you can be sure there's some interest there.
Especially if you've made your feelings clear. He's engaging with you to try and get together with you in person. (That's always a man's goal.)
He's trying to initiate a connection, and then see where you'll go with it. If he gets a welcoming, friendly feel from you, he will probably escalate even further from there.
In fact, if a man takes the leadership role and initiates with you in any way, he's showing his interest.
As the saying goes: "What you are speaks so loudly, I can't hear what you're saying."
A man can say anything, but his actions reveal his character - and his interest in you.
If the guy you want is in a good mood or upbeat around you, you can be fairly sure it's because of you. Especially if you ask him why the good mood and he tells you something vague.
A man is literally "high" when he's with a woman that he's attracted to.
There is a release of several love drugs in his brain and nervous system:
- Dopamine: The brain's pleasure reward...
- Noripinephrine: Otherwise known as Adrenaline...
- Serotonin: Contributes to well-being and happiness...
- Oxytocin: This is often called the "hug drug" since it's released most commonly when we are in physical contact - and helps with the process of bonding.
The reverse is also true about these brain and body hormones. If you break up or your relationship is threatened, you'll feel the withdrawal in your system. And it's not pleasant!
So when a guy is in a good mood when he's with you, you can probably assume that either he's feeling that way because of you, OR he will probably associate you with the good feelings.
Either way, you win!
Generally speaking, a man's mind only holds facts. And mostly about the things that interest him.
Which is why, when a man remembers details about you - you can be sure you're important to him.
It only adds to his feelings of control - because his emotions are wildly out-of-control when he's feeling hot for you. So he starts collecting information and filing it away.
He'll remember the little details about you, like your first pet, where your family came from, what high school you went to.
Keep in mind that men will usually follow this up with facts and details about his life. He wants to impress you and make sure you know he is the best candidate for your affection as well.
So while it may seem a bit egotistical and braggy, it's completely natural.
Guys are notoriously funny when they get around a woman that makes him lose his cool. The first thing he wants to do is reclaim his sense of calm, so he has to rush his bravado.
And that means he acts like a different person - slightly - when he's near you.
He might be a bit more fidgety...
Or he might be super calm and barely move.
He might be nervous, flustered, and find it hard to say what he's thinking...
Or he could go a bit quiet.
He might be flirty and very sexual...
Or he could turn into a right proper gentleman.
The thing is - you just don't know what he'll do ... until he does.
But you should make it a point to baseline his behavior by observing him when he doesn't know you're around. Yeah, I realize that sounds kind of creepy, just watching him.
But you do want to see how he behaves without you so that you can see if there's a difference.
PERSONAL STORY: When I was interested in a woman (before I got married, of course), I would typically turn into Mr. Comedian. I have a pretty good observational humor, and I'd use this when I was out on a date.
For a while, it was a defensive shield. But when I felt like there was a genuine emotional connection, I'd gradually lose that need to be "on" all the time.
There's one secret I have to share with you, and it's very simple:
If a man is interested in you and wants you romantically, he's going to pursue you. You don't have to lift a finger!
I say this because very often I'll get emails from women who tell me that the man they want is acting coy and distant. But she just KNOWS he likes her.
Is she too intimidating?
How does she get him to show his TRUE feelings?
Then she goes into her memory banks and starts to look for hidden signs and signals that indicate he likes her.
All this obsessing and interpretation feels like its own reward, because you get to create the "will they/won't they?" excitement in your own life.
Here's the straight dope: Guys never hide their interest in you!
You see, girls grew up playing this game with boys. A boy was flatteringly obvious with his flirting and interest in you. (And we never out -grew that.)
And you didn't want to look "easy" so you played some fun little games with him.
And naturally, when you get older, you think maybe he's finally cultivated some sophistication in this game of love. "Now he must be doing this to me!" you think.
If a man is into you, he shows it. Nothing held back.
If he's not interested in you, he simply acts... normal.
Now, don't despair!
Keep in mind that a guy can also be distracted with his own life. This doesn't mean you don't have a chance with him.
Attraction is not a "NO" right off the bat.
It's a switch. And you can flip it ON - if you know how a man works.
But first, let's find out if that guy really does feel for you...
I've got a new quiz that you can take - and find out if he really does love you or not.
In about 2 minutes, you can find out if the man you want desires you...