Ok, I just gave that whole "It's not just about sex" speech, but I did also say it WAS a big part of turning a guy on.
We all have different tastes in bed, and all the men I know (myself included) find it totally hot when a woman knows how to communicate her sexual preferences with a guy.
The common complaint I hear from guys is that their partner isn't as sexually open to them as they'd like. What I mean by this is that their wives or girlfriends are either too shy to talk about doin' the nasty or simply aren't interested.
NO - it does not make you "slutty" to show your sexual side.
The simplest but most effective change you can make in your relationship is to confidently tell your guy exactly what it is that turns YOU on in bed. And funny enough, he'll get turned on by you telling him, too!
Whether your preferences fall under conservative, freaky, or somewhere in between, let him KNOW about it. Even if you want to try things he's not familiar with yet, this is the first step to meeting each other halfway.
That's why men are so turned on by this attitude, because it means going down a journey of sexual discovery TOGETHER.
Be a high-quality woman - tip #2: Keep your inner judge quiet
Like I said, attitude plays a big part of being attractive, so keep this tip in mind.
Todd, a client of mine, had this to say about a girl he dated:
"We met through one of those dating sites, and she was every bit of a knockout in real life as her online profile. But she had this habit of making snarky comments about the people in the cafe where we had coffee. Plus, she had nothing but bad things to say about her colleagues when we started talking about work. As great as she looked, she went from a '10' to a '5' in my mind. I just couldn't see myself with someone who was THAT condescending and critical."
And any guy who sees this red flag will be telling himself, "Oh boy, I bet she's gonna judge ME next - and what I like and who I hang out with. FAIL!"
Look, we've all felt the urge to criticize other people who say or do things we don't agree with. But feeling the urge and acting on it are two different things.
Not to get all zen-like on you, but, I've personally found a lot more inner peace in my life by making a habit of letting go of judgment. And you will, too.
Here's a good way to silence your inner judge when it comes knocking:
Exercise a little empathy: Consider the story behind the folks you feel like judging. Is the guy ahead of you at the coffee shop with the ridiculously large order really out to get you?
Or was he just the poor schmuck who ended up having to run an errand at his office?
We all have our own crap to deal with, and everyone's situation is different. The more aware you are of that fact, the easier it is to avoid judgment.
How to titillate his senses #3: Use your mouth
No, I didn't mean THAT way. Well, not in this example, anyway...
Here's the thing about guys: we're turned on by how a woman can be prim and proper in public AND absolutely wild behind closed doors. It's the contrast that gets us excited, and you can do this with a little risqué language in bed.
You don't have to go full-blown X-rated when it comes to talking dirty.
Not all guys are into that, and it's actually better to start off PG-13 and work your way up the raunchiness ladder.
So, test the waters with a few choice words to spice things up, and if he's ok with it, keep going. I usually advise women to start off with general descriptions of his physical attributes and how they make you feel.
For instance, you can say, "I love it when you're pressing against me, I feel so helpless!" Then you can get dirtier and dirtier until you find that verbal sweet spot.
Seduction secret #4. Appreciate him
If there's one secret wish that all guys have, it's for his woman to say out loud what she loves about him.
We just need to know we're valued.
And yet, this is a habit that a lot of couples don't practice enough in their relationship. What most women don't understand is that a lot of a guy's confidence is directly connected to his partner's perception of him.
The more he feels validated by you, the better he feels about himself. This actually builds up his testosterone levels like crazy (biology, remember?) and he'll put that sexual energy back into you.
Women who know how turn a guy on are great at doing and it creates a healthy feedback loop that benefits BOTH of you.
So go ahead and make a list of what it is about him that TURNS YOU on. Tell him directly, mention it when family and friends are around (keep it clean though!) or send him a text or an email.
Coming from you, it will mean the world to him - and it'll start his fire like nobody's business - except yours...
I'll be back in a couple days with part 2 -
but if you can't wait for it, then I've got something else to keep you going until then...
It's all about how to create a love spell that will enchant a man - a secret psychological loophole in the male mind...
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