What To Do When He Says "I don't want to talk about it"

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

Do you want to know what to do when he says "I don't want to talk about it"?

How do you handle it when he stonewalls you like this?

Feelings: Guys avoid talking about them like the plague.

  • “Where is this relationship going?”
  • “What’s bothering you?”
  • “Why are you so quiet?”

To women, they’re innocuous questions.

You just want to know what he's thinking and feeling - after all, what woman wouldn’t want to know what’s going on with her beloved, right?

But there he is, silent and stoic as a guard at Buckingham Palace.

A lot of women have been frustrated when their guy gets cryptic and silent – but there are a few ways to peel back the layers and find out what’s up with your man:

#1: Lockdown Triggers 101: Don’t Say Those Words

Nothing makes a man want to shut up more than hearing his partner say, “We need to talk.” Like I said, to you it’s no big deal; after all, women are generally more comfortable talking about emotions.

q 300x213 What To Do When He Says I dont want to talk about it

Your man however, is likely hardwired not to share his feelings (more on that later). And this is why guys shy away from “heavy”, soul-searching discussions.

So, trying to pry it out of him will make him stonewall more, not less. There are smarter (and less) painful ways for him to talk about the relationship, your feelings and any other stuff he’s filed under “Mushy”.

#2: Talk Like a Guy

Most women have a flair for dissecting every emotional detail of our lives. It’s just how it is.

But it also makes guys think that women “talk too much”. For most men, they like to keep it short and sweet with their “just the facts” way of talking.

Just compare the way you’d talk to your girlfriends and how your guy would talk with his friends. Men tend to leave out the feelings in their stories and stick to what happened.

In the same way, your man is likely to be more receptive if you’re going to “streamline” your conversations about the “hard” stuff (i.e. anything involving emotions) or when you’re disagreeing with them.

%name What To Do When He Says I dont want to talk about it

It’s not that I’m telling you to censor yourself or compromise your thoughts; however, making a bit of effort to get on his frequency will make him less likely to tune you out.

Here are some ideas:

- Try “What do you think about…” or “What are your thoughts on…” Some men are more comfortable sharing their thoughts about a certain topic, so getting your guy to talk about it can eventually lead into his feelings. It just takes a little patience to “extract” the emotions behind his thoughts.

- If you want to know how he’s doing, just leave the offer to talk on the table so he doesn’t feel pressured: “Hey, if you need me, just lemme know, ok?”

#3: Be Cool About It

Believe it or not, men actually want their partners to understand them. So why are some guys so silent?

Generally speaking, they’ve got a couple of things going against them.

First, men learn at an early age NOT to share their feelings for fear of being seen as a wuss. To them, revealing their emotions is a sign of weakness.

And that brings us to the next reason: most men avoid articulating what’s brewing inside their heads because they haven’t had much practice.

But the good news is that you can help.

The best thing to do is NOT flip out or otherwise pressure him (see #1) because he “doesn’t want to talk about it.” In the same vein, don’t punish him when you disagree about something.

%name What To Do When He Says I dont want to talk about it

A lot of guys choose to shut up simply because their partners get hostile when their opinions differ. Resist the temptation to react right away and let him share his thoughts freely without fear of “retaliation”.

Once he feels safe enough to share his thoughts, you might be surprised by how much he has to say.

Bonus tip: Try not to bum rush him with questions when he comes home. Chances are he’ll want to decompress after a long day.

You might get the vibe that he’s not ready to talk just yet.

Use his body language as a cue – when he appears chilled out, then you can come in and talk to him.

Some women like sneaking in a snack or drink, or slip beside their guy (as opposed to walking directly in his line of sight) while watching TV or some similar activity.

#4: Be Supportive

Like I said, guys want their partners to understand them, but they’ve trained themselves not to expect it. The best thing to do is help him unlearn this perception that probably goes back to his childhood.

In time, you can open his mind to the fact that you can make this happen in your relationship. Men might not say it, but they want a partner who can appreciate what they’re going through.

Banner 1 240x400 180x300 What To Do When He Says I dont want to talk about it

If he knows there’s patience, empathy, trust and support in the relationship, these factors will encourage him to talk.

By the way, you may not notice, but your guy has his own special way of connecting to you. In fact, most women aren’t aware that each guy actually has his own “Connection Style”.

This knowledge alone can be the key to unlock the door keeping him from connecting with you on a deeper level. If you want to know more about how make him truly open up to you, I strongly suggest you take a look at this:

The Connection Code - the secret into having a lasting connection with him.

Yours in Perfect Passion,

- Carlos Cavallo

 

UPDATED 9/27/2021

Carlos Cavallo's Dating Advice Guru Relationship Tips For Women
Carlos Cavallo - Dating Advice For Women

Carlos Cavallo Dating and Relationship Guru

FREE Report!

The 7 Mistakes Women Make That Make Men Pull Away...

  • The REAL Reason Men Run From Relationships...
  • How To Know If He's Still Interested In You...
  • Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out...
MORE
  • Take The Quiz!
  • Listen to Carlos podcast

  • Carlos Cavallo's Relationship Tips

    Dating & Relationship Advice Published By:

    Morpheus Productions, LLC
    1115 Madison St NE #1047
    Salem, OR 97301

    1-888-414-0780

  • More Articles

    13 Things You Should Never Say To a Guy

    It's probably pretty obvious but there are things you should never say to a guy. Some things are better left unsaid when all is said and done. One of the questions I ask all of my newsletter subscribers is, "What have you said to a man that you regretted?" And it's one of the most […]

    Read More
    What A Man Is Thinking When He Pulls Away

    What is a man thinking when he pulls away from you? Is he thinking about the relationship? Is he thinking about another woman? What exactly goes through a man's mind when he pulls away from the relationship? That's what were going to investigate here. The truth is going to surprise you. Very often a woman […]

    Read More
    The Best Cure For A Broken Heart

    If there's one pain that we experience that we would prefer to avoid it's a broken heart. But there is a cure for a broken heart, no matter how painful it may seem right now. But the most important thing you need to ask is, "Does my heart have to stay broken?" "Can I win […]

    Read More
    The 7 Attitudes Men Love About Women - Do YOU Have Them?

    Let's talk about the attitudes men love about women. A lot of people get this wrong, so it's really important for you to get it right. If you do, he'll find you irresistible. If you don't, you'll struggle. Let's look into the most irresistible attitudes for women - the ones men can't resist. And probably […]

    Read More
    How To Tell If He Likes You By His Texts

    So you're texting a guy, and you're wondering how to tell if he likes you by his texts. How do you really know what he thinks about you? It's hard to NOT read into whatever words he sends to you, after all. You finally exchanged numbers with that guy. You know the cute guy you […]

    Read More
    Unhappy In a Relationship - How To Fix It

    When you're unhappy in a relationship it's one of the most difficult situations. When you've got relationship problems, everything else just seems to fade into the background, and you want to know how to fix it. You wish you had a Magic Pill that would turn your unhappy relationship into a healthy relationship. Whatever the […]

    Read More
    How To Get Over Someone You Love

    According to relationship experts, the best way to get over someone you love is to just "get over them". But, this is the worst advice ever for how to get over someone. Breaking up hurts. But it doesn't need to be constant suffering. If you want to know how to get through a breakup, that's […]

    Read More
    How To Get His Attention Back Fast - Without Looking Desperate!

    You can be in a real panic when a guy stops paying attention to you or ignores you. When you feel him slipping away, all you can think about is how to get his attention back fast - and without looking desperate. If you sense he has lost enthusiasm for you, you don't want to […]

    Read More
    How To Get The Spark Back In A Relationship - 8 Must-Read Tips

    Every relationship is awesome at the beginning. But it's also perfectly natural to have slow periods in your relationship. You may be wondering right now how to get the spark back in your relationship. Falling in love is easy when the feelings of passion and desire run high. Staying in love is a little trickier. […]

    Read More
    "My Boyfriend Won't Make Time For Me!" - 9 Tips To Be His Priority

    If you've ever been in a relationship where you want to get the attention you deserve, you might have found yourself feeling neglected and unwanted. You may have even told your friends "My boyfriend won't make time for me! What the heck should I do?" Let's tackle this tricky situation and give you the tips […]

    Read More

    WHY HE STOPPED LOVING YOU...

    FREE EBOOK & VIDEO Shows you whyhe stopped loving you...

    - The REAL Reasons Men Pull Away

    - How To Know If He's Still In Love

    - Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out!

    Your Book is on the way... Check your email now!

    linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram