Quick Tips on How To Cure His I-don't-want-to-talk-about-i--itis

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

Feelings: Guys avoid talking about them like the plague, but they're always asked to do it anyway.

“Where is this relationship going?” 

“What’s bothering you?” 

“Why are you so quiet?” 

To women, they’re innocuous questions.

You just want to know what he's thinking and feeling - after all, what woman wouldn’t want to know what’s going on with her beloved, right?

But there he is, silent and stoic as a guard at Buckingham Palace.

A lot of women have been frustrated when their guy gets cryptic and silent – but there are a few ways to peel back the layers and find out what’s up with your man:

#1: Lockdown Triggers 101: Don’t Say Those Words

Nothing makes a man want to shut up more than hearing his partner say, “We need to talk.” Like I said, to you it’s no big deal; after all, women are generally more comfortable talking about emotions.

q 300x213 Quick Tips on How To Cure His I dont want to talk about i  itis

Your man however, is likely hardwired not to share his feelings (more on that later). And this is why guys shy away from “heavy”, soul-searching discussions.

So, trying to pry it out of him will make him stonewall more, not less. There are smarter (and less) painful ways for him to talk about the relationship, your feelings and any other stuff he’s filed under “Mushy”.

#2: Talk Like a Guy

Most women have a flair for dissecting every emotional detail of our lives. It’s just how it is.

But it also makes guys think that women “talk too much”. For most men, they like to keep it short and sweet with their “just the facts” way of talking.

Just compare the way you’d talk to your girlfriends and how your guy would talk with his friends. Men tend to leave out the feelings in their stories and stick to what happened.

In the same way, your man is likely to be more receptive if you’re going to “streamline” your conversations about the “hard” stuff (i.e. anything involving emotions) or when you’re disagreeing with them.

%name Quick Tips on How To Cure His I dont want to talk about i  itis

It’s not that I’m telling you to censor yourself or compromise your thoughts; however, making a bit of effort to get on his frequency will make him less likely to tune you out.

Here are some ideas:

- Try “What do you think about…” or “What are your thoughts on…” Some men are more comfortable sharing their thoughts about a certain topic, so getting your guy to talk about it can eventually lead into his feelings. It just takes a little patience to “extract” the emotions behind his thoughts.

- If you want to know how he’s doing, just leave the offer to talk on the table so he doesn’t feel pressured: “Hey, if you need me, just lemme know, ok?”

#3: Be Cool About It

Believe it or not, men actually want their partners to understand them. So why are some guys so silent?

Generally speaking, they’ve got a couple of things going against them.

First, men learn at an early age NOT to share their feelings for fear of being seen as a wuss. To them, revealing their emotions is a sign of weakness.

And that brings us to the next reason: most men avoid articulating what’s brewing inside their heads because they haven’t had much practice.

But the good news is that you can help.

The best thing to do is NOT flip out or otherwise pressure him (see #1) because he “doesn’t want to talk about it.” In the same vein, don’t punish him when you disagree about something.

%name Quick Tips on How To Cure His I dont want to talk about i  itis

A lot of guys choose to shut up simply because their partners get hostile when their opinions differ. Resist the temptation to react right away and let him share his thoughts freely without fear of “retaliation”.

Once he feels safe enough to share his thoughts, you might be surprised by how much he has to say.

Bonus tip: Try not to bum rush him with questions when he comes home. Chances are he’ll want to decompress after a long day.

You might get the vibe that he’s not ready to talk just yet.

Use his body language as a cue – when he appears chilled out, then you can come in and talk to him.

Some women like sneaking in a snack or drink, or slip beside their guy (as opposed to walking directly in his line of sight) while watching TV or some similar activity.

#4: Be Supportive

Like I said, guys want their partners to understand them, but they’ve trained themselves not to expect it. The best thing to do is help him unlearn this perception that probably goes back to his childhood.

In time, you can open his mind to the fact that you can make this happen in your relationship. Men might not say it, but they want a partner who can appreciate what they’re going through.

Banner 1 240x400 180x300 Quick Tips on How To Cure His I dont want to talk about i  itis

If he knows there’s patience, empathy, trust and support in the relationship, these factors will encourage him to talk.

By the way, you may not notice, but your guy has his own special way of connecting to you. In fact, most women aren’t aware that each guy actually has his own “Connection Style”.

This knowledge alone can be the key to unlock the door keeping him from connecting with you on a deeper level. If you want to know more about how make him truly open up to you, I strongly suggest you take a look at this:

The Connection Code - the secret into having a lasting connection with him.

Yours in Perfect Passion,

- Carlos Cavallo

What Do Men Look For In A Woman? 26 Things He Wants From You

Men are hard to read - and even harder is knowing what he’s thinking about your relationship. If you’ve ever asked him what he’s thinking, you know what I’m talking about. You are probably desperate to know: What do men look for in a woman? Maybe you want to get married, settle down and start […]

Read More
Chemistry In A Relationship - Do you have it? Find out…

Chemistry is one of those things that almost seems mystical. And if you don't know what you're looking for, you might not know if you have chemistry in relationship. Everybody talks about chemistry. And it is really important. If you don't have chemistry in your relationship, chances are your passion will just flicker and die […]

Read More
Communication In A Relationship - 9 Tips To Reach Your Man

Any woman who has been in a relationship knows that communication is one of the most important things. In fact, if you don't have communication in a relationship, you don't really have a relationship. But how do you communicate with guys? Men can seem so difficult to talk to. The funny thing is, to men, […]

Read More
How To Be Mysterious - And Make Any Man Desire You

If you ever watched a movie where a woman seduced a man, you may have wondered how to be mysterious like that. How do you make yourself attractive and alluring by being mysterious? Unfortunately, most women don't learn the ancient art of how to use their Feminine Mystique anymore. It's very rare that girls are […]

Read More
Questions To Ask A Guy Over Text

If you've ever found yourself wanting to flirt or just reconnect with a guy, you probably wish you knew some questions to ask a guy over text. This article is going to be different, though. Instead of giving you a bunch of careless questions, I'm going to give you the kinds of questions you MUST […]

Read More
What To Do When He Is Pulling Away From You - 7 Tips

Nothing sends a chill down your spine faster than knowing that your man is growing cold and distant. And when you feel that happening, you need to know what to do when he is pulling away from you. Distance is the one thing that panics men and women. The problem with guys is that they […]

Read More
What To Talk About With A Guy - 18 Tips

Have you ever been talking with a man and found yourself wondering what to say next? You wonder what to talk about with a guy… I'll be the first person to tell you that talking to a man is really not that difficult. The problem is that you only learned how to talk to other […]

Read More
Are You Dating A Married Man? The 26 Rules - And How To NOT Get Hurt

Most women never set out to date a married guy. But for some reason this guy was so appealing and so interesting, and now you find yourself dating a married man. He could be a guy you work with, a guy you met at a party, or really anywhere. Maybe you started talking and realized […]

Read More
How To Make Him Jealous - And Love You More! - 12 Secrets

One of the most common problems a woman has is when a guy seems to be losing interest. And you know that one of the best ways to get him interested again it's figuring out how to make him jealous - and how to make him love you again. It always seems like he's got […]

Read More
Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Guys? 9 Reasons Your Mom Would Never Admit

Have you ever fallen for a bad boy? Almost every woman has felt the attraction for a guy who's a little rough around the edges. And that might make you wonder why do good girls like bad guys? “So why do good girls like bad guys? I had this question for a real long time […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram