Love and relationships can be complicated, now more than ever. With so many options out there how do you find the right one? To get a good boyfriend, we first need to talk about what makes a good boyfriend.
This is complex because not everyone is looking for the exact same thing. But some characteristics can be found in men who are boyfriend or relationship material. Love and affection are two of the most important because why be in a relationship that doesn’t make you feel loved.
Another essential characteristic is loyalty.
What is a "good" boyfriend?
This is also important because you should feel that the effort put into the relationship isn’t going to waste. Trust is a huge part of what makes a relationship flourish, and anyone who values you for who you are will take the time and effort to show you that you can trust them.
However, a good boyfriend doesn’t just treat you well and the rest of the world poorly. If a man mistreats the people they interact with then it is only a matter of time before they treat you poorly. (One of those big red flags that I warn you about...)
This is why a man who will make a great boyfriend is a person who treats those around them with dignity and empathy.
In essence, part of what makes a great boyfriend is someone who is moral and has compassion for those around him. All the things you want in a relationship are the same character qualities you would want to instill in your children.
Let's jump into the
5 Tips For How To Get A Boyfriend...
TIP 1: Where To Meet A Good Boyfriend...
Now that we know what makes a great boyfriend we need to talk about how to get a boyfriend. The best way to this goal is to forget about past relationships and foster an open mind about your future relationship. With that, you step outside your social circle and meet new people. And you grow as a person capable of having a quality relationship.
Dating outside of your social circle can be one of the healthiest things you can do for your social and dating life. Doing so broadens your horizons.
An excellent way to do this is taking up a hobby you have wanted to do but never found the time.
After all, when you're all wrapped up in this new guy's arms, you might not get that much time to do it again - so take advantage of the free time!
Be creative... And have FUN!
For example, rock climbing is a fantastic hobby to take up because it is easy to start and it is very social. If you're not physically inclined or are restricted, take up a cooking class (I know, you probably hear that one all the time).
The idea here is to GET OUT of the house and GET INTO something new! If you were going to meet the man of your dreams doing what you've been doing, you would have already.
An enjoyable hobby is something that combines two essential things: The first being social interaction, the second is that it helps you stay healthy.
For example, joining a cycling club is a great way to meet people who enjoy the same things you do. This will give you new experiences and will help you meet new people...
TIP 2: How To Know If He Is Relationship Material
This is a heee-yuge part of finding a great boyfriend. There is always a chance that you will find them through your friend group, but it's not likely. Again, if you were, you would have by now.
If you really want to set yourself up for success, you have to broaden your horizons and step out of your comfort zone.
Doing so has many benefits beyond meeting a great boyfriend, so it shouldn’t merely be seen as a means to an end. Collecting more and different experiences is part of what makes life fun. It also helps you become a more rounded person - and be more interesting to him when he comes along.
Build a stronger connection...
With these experiences, you can grow more independent, more resilient, and more in touch with who you are as a person. There is no short-cut or magic bullet to this. If there were, I'd have shut this site down and opened up a store for THAT instead!
Finding out if he is boyfriend material can be easier said than done. Unfortunately, this is something you have take time to figure out. Get to know him and see how he reacts in a verity of situations. The problem is that anyone can pretend to be someone they are not for a couple of hours.
This being said, you should let your intuition take the lead.
If they seem fake and lack authenticity then maybe cut that off. If they seem genuine and a good person, then continue to get to know them. However, at the end of the day, you also have to communicate your desires.
This may seem old fashioned but you should wait to sleep with any man you date. You don't need to necessarily wait until you're in a full blown relationship but waiting gives you time to figure it all out. There is no line in the sand when it comes to this because ultimately every romantic relationship is different.
There is one thing that I'll hold to and stick to: If you want a possible relationship, do not sleep with him on the first date. If he's that good, he'll wait.
Use your intuition when it comes to deciding when to have sex and if you think it will add to the relationship in a positive way. Going to bed with someone is a very intimate experience. This is why you should wait to share that part of you with someone because it isn't simply physical; it's also emotional.
Set healthy boundaries...
This is why it is important to make sure you are making the right decision.
Another thing to keep in mind is that we all want what we can’t have. So if what we want is given away too easily, then what's the point? The guy you are interested in should have to earn your trust and respect. If he doesn't earn it, he'll treat it like the cheap commodity you did.
Remember trust is earned not given.
In essence, make sure HE is also invested in making it a relationship before sharing that aspect of a relationship with him.
If you are looking to get a boyfriend - and a serious one at that - then think about this and decide when you feel ready. Every relationship is different so use your intuition and trust your gut.
But also keep in mind that most relationships are ALSO very much alike. That's the dilemma of romance.
4. Don’t Let Him Pay For Everything...
Although chivalry may seem dead, it's not. Most men, in fact, feel more comfortable footing the bill.
However, there is a way to play this so that your possible boyfriend recognizes that you are also invested in the possibility of a relationship.
Help your relationship grow...
Relationships are - by definition - two-sided whether you are trying to find a relationship or keep one going strong. You need to show that you are invested in creating something meaningful. You have to show that you are willing to make some sacrifices to have a healthy and meaningful relationship.
Doing this also signals that you are a high-quality woman. And that is absolutely key in how to find a boyfriend. Especially a high-quality one.
Show that you're into it by doing small thoughtful things for him. If he's genuine he will be able to tell and most definitely will be grateful for it. If you are truly set on getting a boyfriend this is a great thing to do.
5. Watch Out For The Bad Apples...
It's common knowledge that there are fewer high-quality men than there are low-quality men. This means there is less boyfriend material than non-boyfriend material.
Here is how to spot a guy who is not boyfriend material:
The first and most glaring issue that can be spotted is insecurity.
If a guy is insecure, then he will have problems that go beyond merely a lack of self-esteem. Men that aren't sure of themselves and happy with who they are will be tough to communicate with.
They will refuse to open up and will have a hard time being there for you because it makes them feel vulnerable when opening up. And caring about someone that isn’t them is too much.
They will also never stand up for their girlfriend. All of this leads to a very dysfunctional relationship. Something that you definitely want to steer clear from if you're want to know how to get a boyfriend and create a meaningful relationship.
The next two types of guys to watch out for are: The ones that never sleep around - and also those who sleep around just a little too much.
The guy who never has sex will most certainly cheat if given the opportunity because it boosts his under-developed sexual ego. And he will always be desperate to satisfy his physical needs.
Not to mention, he'll always wonder what else is out there. He'll be in a "scarcity" mindset.
On the other side of the spectrum are the guys who sleep around too much and never really connect with the woman they are sleeping with.
This shows that he's superficial and he's only in it for the sex and instant gratification that it brings him.
At either end of the spectrum, these guys just want to have sex and will never make good boyfriends.
If you are looking for a boyfriend, either of these two types is a bad bet. A guy who is sure of himself with high self-esteem who falls somewhere in the middle is your choice. They aren't desperate, nor are they too aloof from you and your needs.
High quality men...?
Ultimately, there is no perfect method for getting a boyfriend. But these tips will help you if you really want a guy you can count on.
Remember that it will help you if you take the time to explore new aspects of life you wouldn't have otherwise. That's part of what being single is about.
Broadening your horizons and meeting new people through a strong friendship network is a great way to get a boyfriend. Stepping out of your comfort zone and becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable is critical.
If there is one thing you take from this, I hope it's that dating outside of your social circle can be one of the best things you can do for your social life. And, as it happens, essential!
When you do find someone who you really like, get to REALLY know them. Don't just put on a sweet act.
See if you connect, and be ready to make time for that new person.
Also, communicate your feelings and be vulnerable about how you feel. This makes things simple and helps you find the person who really connects with you. In essence, getting a boyfriend is an active endeavor, not a passive one.
There is one more skill you have to have to get the boyfriend you want. It's the skill of knowing how to connect with your boyfriend once you win him.
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