How To Get His Attention Back Fast - Without Looking Desperate!
By: Carlos Cavallo
You can be in a real panic when a guy stops paying attention to you or ignores you. When you feel him slipping away, all you can think about is how to get his attention back fast - and without looking desperate.
If you sense he has lost enthusiasm for you, you don't want to be pushy to get him back. Unfortunately this is a pretty common situation for many women.
If you've had this happen to you, you can probably relate to this guy's feelings. It doesn't mean that he isn't interested. Or that you said something or did something that turned them off or angered him. His feelings could just be fading out all on their own.
The early stages of a relationship is an unstable place to be.
Of course there are no guarantees, but there are some ways that you can make him start to come back to your relationship in some way.
You may have even found yourself asking:
How do you get his attention when he ignores you?
Is he withdrawing or losing interest?
He might have been interested in you but suddenly he seems to have lost interest in your relationship.
Anytime a man pulls away from a relationship, it creates panic in you.
And you want to relieve that anxiety by fixing this situation - FAST.
A guy can withdraw from a relationship for variety of reasons. Including absolutely no reason at all.
And if you don't realize it in time, you might turn around and start chasing him simply because he pulled away for a day or two. Which, ironically, makes him run away faster.
Why do men pull away from relationships and appear disinterested?
Keep in mind that men are dealing with a slightly different world experience.
What I mean by this is, he doesn't experience the world quite like you.
The biggest way that a man experiences life differently is that a man deals with his priorities one at a time.
A man is usually single-mindedly focused on solving the most important problem in front of him. And if you're not a problem, which you probably aren't if you're his girlfriend (or more), that means he will occasionally shift his attention to his most important problem.
Men are focused on one thing at a time. We do not multitask!
A man can really only pay attention to one thing at a time. And if he has a problem to solve, he will focus his attention there.
So you see, his NOT paying attention to you is actually a kind of compliment! It means that he doesn't see your relationship as something temporary or falling apart.
He trusts in your connection.
In other words, he doesn't feel like he has anything to worry about with you. There's no problem..
This is probably the highest compliment a man can give to your relationship. Men simply don't need to constantly seek reassurance to feel like you're there.
Don't forget that men need space to start feelings of love
Men need a lot of alone time to do things that make them feel more masculine. They need to be able to relieve the stress in their lives and process their own thoughts and feelings.
He doesn't typically do this with other men or other women. He simply does this alone.
He will come back.
This can feel very scary to you.
One of the most common reasons that men pull away from relationships is when he feels that you are needy.
It may sound like a bit of a cliché but you have to avoid letting how he thinks about YOU define your confidence in the relationship. It's absolutely critical for your relationship.
Always look at yourself in contrast to the feminine ideal: The Confident, High-Value Woman.
A High-Value Woman:
Leaves a relationship that isn't working - yes, she does this all on her own. She can walk away.
She never accepts any kind of mistreatment
She doesn't need a lot of reassuring. She has secure attachment to herself.
She is independent
She starts out with trust in her man until he proves otherwise
Sometimes the hardest thing to accept in a relationship is that you might need to work on these things in yourself. For the simple fact that confidence is the most difficult thing to cultivate in yourself, and the single most important thing to a relationship.
There's no getting around it. If you are running from your own insecurities, he will notice it. And he will also run if you're not honest about it and working on it.
You might say, "But Carlos - I don't have that confidence!"
What else is worth getting fixed than that? It doesn't take much more than getting the right information on men to help fix your confidence. More on that in a bit...
How do you know if he has lost interest in you? Or are you overthinking it?
Perhaps one of the most important questions I can ask you is: Are you interested in your own life?
If you are not interested in your plans in your life, then a romantic relationship will be difficult for you. Just about every relationship expert would tell you the exact same thing.
When a man feels attraction for you he usually feels it because he wants a romantic relationship with a confident woman.
Yes, there are a ton of ideas about the traits he's looking for, like:
Sense of humor
An independent woman
A woman who can give him space as well as time to be a man
And of course all of these are valid. But ultimately he has to feel like you are interested in YOU first.
If he senses that all you want is attention or you're just trying to create a relationship so you can feel secure, he will notice and probably pull away.
Make sure that when he sees you he knows that you're having a good time in your own life. That simply means that you are enjoying yourself in the absence of a man to pursue you.
Most men simply notice that a woman who has her own thing going on is the least likely to bring him down and get needy on him.
What do you do when he's losing interest?
How do you get him to come back fast?
Well, as it turns out, getting him to come back to you is not as difficult as it may seem.
Get His Attention Back Fast - Tip 1: Stop being a pushover!
One of the most common ways that women lose control the relationship with a man is by letting him walk all over her.
She's so concerned about not losing him that she thinks the best thing to do is to make it super easy for him.
This is how you sell yourself out. The single most repulsive thing in a relationship is when you sense the other person is desperate for you.
Create healthy boundaries.
Think about yourself right now: If you've ever had someone pursue you out of desperation, you know what I mean. Being too accommodating and agreeable tells people that you must be lacking in something. We pick up on our social radar that you are not secure or confident.
You never want to signal to him that you are so desperate to please him that you have no standards or boundaries. When you let a man walk on you, he soon realizes that you have no real value in a relationship to him.
We all want what is hard to get. We don't want what is 'easy to get.'
One of the easiest ways to show that you're not a pushover is to tell him NO.
As in, NO, I can't make you dinner tonight.
Or, NO, you can't sleep over tonight.
Or, NO, you can't show up on my doorstep at 2 AM to jump in bed with me.
The bottom line is, you know when you compromised your own ideals with a man and have gone too far.
Be sure he knows that you are ready, willing, and able to walk away from him at any moment if he should misbehave. Many times a man simply needs to be put in his place when he starts acting like a bratty little boy. He has to know there are consequences for being a jerk!
(By the way, this goes triple for any man that you sense was coddled by his mother.)
How do you show him that you're not needy or insecure?
TIP 2: Make it absolutely clear that you don't want anything from him
Obviously, in a relationship, we do want something from the other person. Typically love, attention, affection, and all that other stuff.
If there's one place that we don't want to feel like we are bartering, it's in a relationship - in love.
The fact of the situation: Nothing turns a guy off faster than the sense that a girl expects something from him. Or will demand commitment just to "lock things down."
Or that she wants something from him besides a fun connection with him.
You might think that projecting this attitude would make him simply take advantage of you and not consider you as a serious relationship candidate. That he would just consider you a friend with benefits.
This simply isn't true.
A man is most likely to fall in love and commit his heart to the woman who needs him the least - and gives to him because she wants to, not because she has to or she's trying to obligate him.
When a guy senses you are a fun, relaxed woman with value, he will chase you to the ends of the earth.
How are you communicating your value to him right now?
Another question women ask me is:
If you stop texting him will he miss you?
The simple answer is yes, he will miss you. But just because he doesn't send you 25 texts to find out what you're doing, what you're thinking, who you're with, what's going on, etc.
Just because he isn't asking you these things, doesn't mean he isn't missing you. The real trick is simply knowing how to spot the signs he DOES miss you.
I'll come back to this in a moment...
TIP 3: How To Get Him Interested Again Fast Over Text
One of the best things you can do is use texting to reach him. Texting is a great form of communication if you know how to use it best.
Know how to use texting to your advantage.
In fact, stopping texting him is a good idea for you to use regularly.
Every so often, stop trying to always be in his attention. Let him suddenly feel your absence.
Press the pause button on your messaging!
As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
When you're not around, he will wonder where you are
When you're not chasing him all the time, he will wonder why (HINT: most men experience women as constantly chasing them instead of the other way around.)
How to get his attention back from another woman?
You might run into a situation where another woman has grabbed his attention. Before you get furious and let jealousy overtake you, there's something here you need to see.
Obviously if this woman is getting his attention, she's doing something right. She's probably doing something you're not doing.
Be your best self.
Which means you need to pay attention!
Instead of losing control of your emotions, which will definitely push him into her arms, take a look at what's going on and use it to your advantage.
Here are a few steps to get his attention back:
Step 1: Look the best you can
It goes without saying that men are highly visual creatures. Guys are overwhelmed by beauty.
If you think he's suddenly falling for someone else, the best thing you can do is to look your best and pull his eyes away from her, back to you.
Get some clothes that flatter you
Dress a little sexier (but not compromising your dignity!)
Revisit your hairstyle, or the color
Try a slightly different look with your makeup
Anyone or all of these will help you look your best.
Step 2: FEEL the best you can!
Again, Get focused on your own life. Make the priority again.
For the simple reason that if this relationship doesn't work out, you should feel great about yourself no matter what.
This might mean getting back into your hobbies
Start reading those books that you been neglecting
Get back out and hang out with your friends again. Women have a tendency to ignore their friends when they're pursuing a relationship
Watch your diet and your eating. Get back to the gym. Focus on your health again.
Step 3: Get control of your thinking and your emotions
It's probably no secret that the one thing that destroys relationships fast is emotional carelessness. One reason men fall out of love fast is because he feels under constant emotional siege.
Knowledge is power.
This is what it's like for man when a woman loses control her feelings and goes a little crazy on him. In fact, if you want to know what tells him to avoid a relationship, instability and emotional control are right at the top of the list for a man.
You don't want to slip up and text him 30 pages of emotional blubbering at 2 AM after you had a few glasses of wine and you're feeling a little low. That's the fastest way to sabotage yourself.
The NUMBER ONE way to get control your thinking and your emotions is very simple: Understand what men want.
If you get it, If you know the reason a guy feels interest for woman in the first place, you won't get lost.
You'll know what to do and when to do it.
On the other hand if you don't know what men want, you will probably keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
You have to break the endless cycle.If you want to find a connection and happiness with a man, you have to be able to hone in on what a man is looking for right away.
You don't have time to experiment or hope that destiny will make him propose to you.
The reason a man chooses one woman over another is always the same:
She knows how to show him the signs and signals he's looking for that she's the one for him.
That she's his soulmate.
It's not about text messages, social media, sex, confidence - At least not directly.
Get him to choose YOU!
The true secret to getting a man to desire you and commit to you with all his heart comes down to understanding him and knowing a man's psychology.
And that is the simplest thing to do if you know where to go!
You're very lucky. You found a man who can explain this to you completely. (Yeah, that's me - Carlos.)
I made it my mission to reach out to women and show them exactly what men want.
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