It’s human nature to deny reality even when it’s staring us in the face.
The best thing to do is NOT prolong the inevitable and let those feelings of loss hit you.
Give yourself a couple of weeks to experience every negative emotion that came up after the fact.
Otherwise, bottling it up and depriving yourself of an outlet will just delay the healing process.
Do something constructive to work off those pent-up emotions. Stay over at a friend’s place and talk to her, get introspective (like writing in your blog or diary), work out (or something equally physical), or express yourself artistically (like painting or singing).
We all have our inclinations – find what you’re most comfortable with and use it as a way to process your feelings.
Don’t Try to Change His Mind
Guys are like puppies in a lot of ways; the more aggressively you pursue them, the more they’ll back off and feel cornered.
Sending him angry texts or emails, or trying to tell him that you’re “the one for him” is counterproductive. The longer you do this, the more bitter you’ll get and push him away further.
If you want him to respect you and not burn any bridges, keep it classy.
Besides, being attracted to someone isn’t really a conscious choice. So it’s pretty much pointless to try and make the case that he should pursue you.
As hurt as you are, the best strategy is to not let him “see you bleed.”
The better you handle things, the more reason he’ll regret letting you go in the first place.
Assume He’s No Longer Interested
This might seem like a pessimistic outlook, but you’re actually doing yourself a favor.
It helps to think of yourself as a businesswoman who simply had a deal that went bad.
Why sit around and mope until the cows come home?
Once you’ve given yourself time to sulk for a bit, you'll realize that there are other prospects on the horizon.
And the more you focus on those future opportunities, the quicker you can put that “bad deal” behind you. But that doesn’t mean you should hook up with the next guy you meet.
Play it cool and give yourself time to focus on the other areas of your life first. There are two advantages to doing this:
By working on your career, hobbies and relationships with other people, you’re setting yourself up to be a happier, well-adjusted woman who’s neither needy nor desperate.
More importantly, you’re reminding yourself that your happiness doesn’t depend on one person. Not putting all your eggs into that one basket means your world won’t fall apart if he’s not into you. The irony is that this attitude will help you get a high-quality guy!
What If He Comes Back To You?
If he does change his mind, let him know (in a subtle way) that you can meet up with him at a time that’s convenient for you.
Give him a couple of options to meet (so you don’t sound pushy or cold) and let him choose. By starting over as a casual acquaintance, you’ll keep him on his best behavior.
He’ll think, “What’s the deal with her? I thought she was into me. I’ll change her mind.”
Remember, the most successful women in dating don’t need a guy to validate who they are. They’re perfectly happy doing their thing and not in a rush to get into a relationship.
They’ll only take that leap when the time is right – and not because they feel pressured to do so.
If you’re not sure when’s the right time, you should try learning his Connection Style first. It’s the best way to know what makes him tick and figure out if you should jump into a relationship with him.
When it comes to a relationship, there are signs you are smothering him. And like it or not, one of the things in life a girlfriend doesn't want to do is smother her partner. There are lots of reasons for this coming up in a relationship. But the most important advice for you to know […]
When you're looking for a life partner, the first question you need to ask is how compatible are we? Compatibility in a relationship will help you understand if you're right for each other. Yes, you can take a quiz to find out more about your compatibility. (I'll point you to my compatibility quiz in just […]
For most women, the first time you kiss a guy is important, because it's the first intimate contact you have with him. Let's talk about how to kiss a guy - and how to make him crazy for you when you do! Let's get real here - you're probably not a beginner. But you do […]
It's tricky enough talking to people in person, but what if you want to start a conversation on dating apps? How do you do it? After all there are a crazy number of apps out there for your phone, and even websites for those of you dating on your computer. Online dating is a huge […]
It can be tricky to admit you're wrong. BUT if you made a mistake, you need to know how to apologize to your boyfriend (or your husband). It's an essential skill for any woman that finds herself needing to make amends. After all, anyone can make a mistake or act out of impulse and say the […]
It's probably pretty obvious but there are things you should never say to a guy. Some things are better left unsaid when all is said and done. One of the questions I ask all of my newsletter subscribers is, "What have you said to a man that you regretted?" And it's one of the most […]
What is a man thinking when he pulls away from you? Is he thinking about the relationship? Is he thinking about another woman? What exactly goes through a man's mind when he pulls away from the relationship? That's what were going to investigate here. The truth is going to surprise you. Very often a woman […]
If there's one pain that we experience that we would prefer to avoid it's a broken heart. But there is a cure for a broken heart, no matter how painful it may seem right now. But the most important thing you need to ask is, "Does my heart have to stay broken?" "Can I win […]
Let's talk about the attitudes men love about women. A lot of people get this wrong, so it's really important for you to get it right. If you do, he'll find you irresistible. If you don't, you'll struggle. Let's look into the most irresistible attitudes for women - the ones men can't resist. And probably […]
So you're texting a guy, and you're wondering how to tell if he likes you by his texts. How do you really know what he thinks about you? It's hard to NOT read into whatever words he sends to you, after all. You finally exchanged numbers with that guy. You know the cute guy you […]