How to get over a cheating ex
It’s devastating to be cheated on and if you’re finding it difficult to move forward with your life, the first thing you need to do is to be aware of all the roadblocks that are preventing you from getting back on your feet.
The hurt and anger can hold you back from discovering the man you are really destined to be with.
Here are a few roadblocks you should avoid:
Roadblock #1: Blaming yourself
You’ve been hurt, you’re vulnerable, and your feelings are at an all time low. You feel betrayed, and rightly so.
Because of this, your judgment is clouded. Your negativity is – dare I say – way higher than your positivity.
Even when your ex was the one who left, cheated, and created this situation, you probably blame yourself.
You’re wondering what you did or didn’t do to make this happen.
This may take a lot of willpower, but if you want to get on the road to recovery, you have to gather your strength and STOP…
Stop the negativity. Stop the over analysis.
And start accepting that you’re not to blame and THIS is not your fault. He made his choice, wrong as it was.
Roadblock #2: Don’t waste time getting even
Yes, you’re hurt and you might feel extremely vengeful, especially to that guy who caused you that much pain.
Before you do anything, think about this…
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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Will it be worth it? The drama, arguments, and intense need to hurt someone.
What’s the point after all that?
He did what he did. Don’t give him reasons to think that he has made the right choice by hurting you (instead of feeling remorse and guilt).
Getting even will not make things any better, so why waste your energy on it. Just focus on moving forward.
Roadblock #3: Thinking he can change
This is what you have to remind yourself all the time – if he did it once, he could do it again. Maybe he just cheated – but he could also be a cheater, which is far worse.
Rationalizing what he did wrong to make it right and accepting him back to your life with the hopes that he has changed is like a ticking time bomb ready to explode.
Do you really want to be in a situation wherein you’re paranoid all the time?
You’ll constantly be thinking, “Where is he?”
“What’s he’s doing?”
“And with who?“
This stuff can change you for the worst. Remember this, it’s easy to forgive, but it’s hard to forget.
And you’ll always remember that that the trust has been broken.
So, how do you get past the pain and get on with your life?
Here are a few steps to recovery that can help you pull yourself together again:
Recovery Step 1: Get rid of his stuff
You won’t be able to recover if his things are all over your place reminding you of the good and the bad. Each item will only trigger emotions from you – feelings you shouldn’t be dwelling on if you want to get past this event.
So, pack up all his items… donate it, throw it in the dumpster or ask his friends to give it back to him.
Recovery Step 2: Delete him from your phone
You have to avoid all communication with your ex, at least for the first few weeks you’re getting over him. The best thing to do is to remove his number from your cell phone and address book.
So you don’t get tempted to call him at a low point…
Or when you feel that extreme need to hear his voice just because you miss him. You can’t afford that set-back.
Don’t worry – if you ever had to reach him, you can find him through a friend. For now, remove the temptation.
Recovery Step 3: Take a vacation
There’s a certain feeling of relaxation when you’re in a different environment, surrounded with new people and new things. Take that vacation. Be free. Be spontaneous.
You’ll be able to focus on yourself, feel whole and independent again.
Remember the movie “Eat Pray Love?”
That’s how it could be.
Recovery Step 4: Get a makeover
After that ordeal with your ex, you need some CHANGE – both inside and out.
When you follow these steps, you’ll have that inner feeling of happiness… like somehow, something in you was lifted and you became a NEW you.
Match that with an external makeover and you’ll have the whole package. Invest in yourself. Exercise. Go to your favorite salon and have a new hairstyle. Get your eyebrows and nails done.
Get back to feeling radiant and feminine again.
Think of it this way…someday, when you run across your ex, as an ultimate payback, you’d want him to see you at your best and thinking, “Wow! She looks awesome. I made a mistake cheating on her.”
Maybe there will be a little groveling and begging, maybe not. But you’ll feel a whole lot better about where you are.
Recovery Step 5: Get back to dating
Not right away, but after a month or so. Give yourself the time you need to heal.
Then put yourself out there. Ask your friends for connections and introductions.
Start flirting again. Be back on the market.
Hey, you’re SINGLE, you look and feel good. It’s time to get back to the fun!
The sooner you get back on top of your game, you’ll be with someone new – someone amazing.
You have all the power you need to get over your ex. The road to recovery can be challenging, but just like every other bad event in your past, you will get over it and rebound even stronger.
Especially if you put the situation in perspective and regain the trust for the next guy.
Not all men cheat! And that’s important to remember for the next guy.
Remember, only YOU can change how you are feeling. No one else can do that for you!
Now if you’d like to know how to “cheat proof” your relationship, and ensure that the man in your life is yours – Forever – then I have a short video presentation that you’ll absolutely love…
Yours In Perfect Passion…
– Carlos Cavallo