How To Win Over His Family
When you’re meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time, it will probably cause you a lot of anxiety and stress, especially if you’ve been hoping and praying for him to propose.
This moment will make you feel like you’re going to the MOST important job interview of your life.
In some ways, that might be true. But before you go all out and panic, there are a few things you should know.
Keep this in mind – Winning over any family’s heart and trust can be challenging. And it won’t always happen overnight.
It’s an ongoing process.
So, don’t expect that they’re all going to adore and love you the moment they see you. That takes time.
The MOST important thing you need to consider is for you to be likeable enough that they will tell your guy they LIKE you.
That’s the first step – and a MAJOR one at that. Remember that small victories are the steps to winning the race.
Expect that you’ll be scrutinized from head to toe though, so don’t feel weird when you see a member of his family staring at you or his mom being extra nice to you so she can get you alone and talk. “Woman to woman…”
ALL of that is a given.
To ease your anxiety and nervousness (that’s normal by the way), here are a few tips to help you out:
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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Yes, it’s a bit of a cliche, but most people work way too hard to impress by adopting a false persona. When it comes to how you look – try not to get too carried away.
Just keep it simple and it’s best to stick to who you really are.
It’s definitely not the right time to experiment being someone that you’re not. The insincerity will show – and that might be interpreted negatively.
Remember that your guy likes you enough already that he’s inviting you to his inner, private world. That’s saying something to his family…
And most likely they will come around to liking you too.
DO YOUR RESEARCH
If you want to make sure you connect with his family, then, do a bit of research. Find out what people his parent’s age are into.
There’s a lot of good stuff on the Internet that you’ll find extremely useful.
You can also ask your guy about them – what they are passionate about, movies they watch, books they read, and topics they normally discuss.
So, you can find out firsthand what commonalities you and his family have and use that when you interact with them. And the key here is to not pretend to know or understand their interests.
Instead, simply ask a lot of insightful questions. This is one of the master keys of getting people to like you, by the way.
Remember, to LIVE IN THE MOMENT, be engaging and be natural. Try your best not to act like Ms. Know-It-All.
Again, just be YOU – the you that your man loves and respect.
Have a good time. Be spontaneous. Bring out the the best aspects of your personality so your guy’s family can see it.
And finally, remember:
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT THEM
As much as you can, try not to make the time with his family all about you. That means, it’s not all about what you like and dislike.
Keep your preferences out of the mix as much as possible. Sure, they may order a wine you don’t particularly like, but go along with it and don’t make too much of an issue about what you don’t like.
Hey, sometimes you have to take one for the team.
And when the evening’s done, offer to help out. For instance, if the get-together was at his family’s house, after dinner…offer to wash the dishes or at least bring the plates to the sink.
Don’t just sit there, timid and not participating.
Get to know them. Ask questions like that will make them engage in conversation with you. And if you can’t think of anything else to say…
Remember this – ask about their son. They’ll LOVE it.
Every parent loves the chance to brag or reminisce about their little boy.
When you do this, they’ll love you for it, and most probably show you all those fun and embarrassing pictures from when he was a kid.
At the end of the night, don’t forget to say THANK YOU and invite his family to do something together soon.
That’ll give you EXTRA points.
Yours In Perfect Passion…
– Carlos Cavallo