The Truth About Men – And What To Do About It

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

For the most part, guys are going to sleep with a girl they’re attracted to regardless of what’s going through their mind.

He’s probably not going to have some internal monologue like, “Hmm, should I go to bed with her? I mean, I don’t know yet if I’m fully committed to her, so I’m kind of on the fence with this…”

For men, that self-reflection comes AFTER the fact, not before (and especially NOT during).

And I’m not knocking on guys for being that way – that’s just how they’re hardwired.

More often than not, a man is a creature driven by the constant need to achieve some sort of end result. When he’s out to make something happen, he’s going to put all his focus and energy into it until he gets the desired results.

When he does, he’ll think to himself, “Well, that was fun. Should I do it again? Or should I move on to something else?”

After you sleep with him, this same kind of thinking is likely to kick in. And just to make it clear, this also happens to be the single most important determining factor in your future relationship.

have an engaging conversation when going on a first date with a man 2 300x200 The Truth About Men – And What To Do About It

The thing about commitment is that it’s NEVER a decision you can force a guy to make. The most you can do is guide him towards it, as opposed to a draw-the-line-in-the-sand approach.

Commitment Do’s and Dont’s

Without a doubt, he’s going to enjoy the sex, but that’s not the issue here.

This applies to all people, but it goes for double for guys: sleeping with him is by no means a contract for him to stick around.

From a guy’s perspective, he has a few conditions that need to be met before he can make the decision to commit to someone:

  • He needs to appreciate the value of your affections
  • Being with you should be a prize he worked for, not something handed to him without a ‘fight’
  • The desire to invest himself into the relationship

When a guy made the team in high school, it was special to him because he had to prove himself before getting picked.

If the coach just slapped a varsity jacket on him just because he showed up at the try-outs, it wouldn’t have meant as much.

That’s kind of how dating is for them as well.

If he doesn’t get the same satisfaction from ‘winning’ the chance to be with a great gal like you, he wouldn’t have much of a reason to pursue a long-term relationship.

Guys are funny like that, I suppose.

Getting Him to Stay Put

Here’s what you do: first, make him feel really great whenever you’re together. Focus all your attention on him, and make sure you’re having a ball.

So whenever you’re with him, let the fun side of your personality shine. Make it a great experience for your guy – he’ll want more of it and that’s all the motivation he’ll need.

 

On the other side of the coin, you shouldn’t constantly check with him on where you stand or bug him all the time to see you.

If you have an attitude that says, “Are you feeling that chemistry yet?”, he’s not likely to feel those fireworks with you.

Instead of pressuring him, stay chill and pull back a little every now and then. Don’t be available to see him at a moment’s notice all the time – you’re not a firefighter on call!

Keep living your own life and stick to your daily schedule. Make ample time for him, but don’t drop your other commitments.

Let him make plans in advance and let him know whether the time works for you or not.

Above all, don’t agree to see him at a weird hour.

This is the perfect antidote to the infamous booty call. Setting the bar for good behavior will keep him at his best and make sure he respects the time you do spend with him.

If he sees that you’re bending over backwards to accommodate him, he’ll simultaneously find it off-putting and suffocating. He won’t want to be with someone who’s too intense or doesn’t have a sense of balance.

Sure, there are players, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t men who won’t want to commit given the right conditions. And yes, there’s always a risk involved (i.e. him not wanting to stay), but anything worthwhile doesn’t come that easily.

And that’s the whole point. Nothing awesome – like a healthy relationship for example – falls out of the sky.

It needs to be cultivated and cared for so it can blossom.

Playing The Game Right

Oh, and if you’re worried about sleeping with him before you feel you’re ready, you can adjust the escalation level based on what you do and DON’T do.

In fact, guys unconsciously want YOU to call the shots. They just don’t have that same calibration when it comes to sex, so make sure to give him the right cues.

Keep any jokes within PG-13 territory – if he goes into rated R stuff, steer the conversation back on track so he doesn’t get any ideas.

Here’s another tip: no guy comes up to a girl’s place at midnight, thinking it’s just for “coffee” or to admire her art collection.

So it’s best to avoid getting trapped in any position that might make him think you’re ready when you really aren’t.

Also, keep your exchanges of affection out of isolated areas. Make him feel that you’re into him with a little kiss or hug, but avoid letting it escalate by not being alone.

Restaurants, movie theaters or anywhere with people around are good places, for instance.

So the message you should get across is that he’s in good standing, but you need time to take things to the next level.

If he’s cool with that, he’ll get the hint and stick around. And hey, don’t sweat it if he isn’t.

If anything, it just means you’re meant for someone else who’s going to value you.

I know how tricky it can be to figure out what’s going on in a guy’s head. If you knew for sure, it would be much easier to decide how to move forward.

But sometimes, you just don’t know if he’s truly interested or not.

Fortunately, you now have a way to read him like a book, and it’s as easy as checking out this fantastic new course I’ve put together, CLICK HERE

Yours In Perfect Passion...

- Carlos Cavallo

Why Does He Keep Coming Back? When he doesn't even want a relationship?

If you've ever had a relationship that was rocky, and sometimes downright difficult, you may wonder why does he keep coming back? Is he half interested? Is he just using me? What the heck is going on? This can really drive you nuts because you feel like you have a good relationship. It's especially confusing […]

Read More
Does My Guy Friend Like Me? 16 Signs To Look For

Sometimes your guy friends might make you scratch your head. They act a little bit flirty, or maybe hold eye contact a little too long, and you start to wonder “Does my guy friend like me?” The truth is, many men try this tactic for working (sometimes weaseling) their way into a woman's heart. For […]

Read More
How To Win A Guy Over

Over the long hard Road of Romance, there's a good chance you've probably found a guy that wasn't ready to show you how much he wanted to be with you. You know you have to open his heart to you, and all you want to know is how to win a guy over. And you'd […]

Read More
Why Is He Trying To Make Me Jealous? - The Secret Psychology

Some women believe that men try to push their buttons. The truth however, it's exactly the opposite. If you're wondering “Why is he trying to make me jealous?” - then this article should help you understand him better. And I will also explain what to do if he is trying to make you jealous. Jealousy […]

Read More
How Men Test Women - Secret Tests That You Must Pass!

This is one of those things that I think every woman wants to know: How men test women. But first I have to set the record straight on something right off the bat: Men don't intentionally test women...! Now you might find that a little bit hard to believe. After all, a lot of men's […]

Read More
7 Signs He Cares About You

In today's dating world, it's hard to know if a man truly feels for you. You may find yourself looking for signs he cares about you quite often. The trickiest part is knowing for sure. We all want guarantees when it comes to relationships - especially when we're in love. But even more important, you […]

Read More
How To Get A Man To Marry You - 11 Secret Tips

If you're like most women who have been in a relationship for more than six months, you may start to wonder how to get a man to marry you. After all, marriage is the goal of a committed relationship. There are 4 big steps in any relationship: The first date The first sleepover Becoming "exclusive" […]

Read More
What Makes A Man Leave His Wife For Another Woman

What makes a man decide to leave his wife — What makes a man leave his wife for another woman? As a coach and counselor for women on dating and relationships, I often run into situations where a marriage has ended. And there's always the question about what makes a man leave his wife like […]

Read More
24 Signs He's Secretly In Love With You

Wouldn't it be great if there were secret signals that a guy likes you? Are there signs he's secretly in love with you? Well, the answer to that question is yes. No secret there. And I'm going to cover some of those secret signs here for you. The guy you're curious about might be working […]

Read More
How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

When you meet a guy or just want to start up a relationship with a man these days, you need to know how to start a conversation over text. Luckily, this isn't hard to do if you know what he is looking for. Sometimes it's hard to come up with the right thing to say, […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram