The Truth About Men – And What To Do About It

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

For the most part, guys are going to sleep with a girl they’re attracted to regardless of what’s going through their mind.

He’s probably not going to have some internal monologue like, “Hmm, should I go to bed with her? I mean, I don’t know yet if I’m fully committed to her, so I’m kind of on the fence with this…”

For men, that self-reflection comes AFTER the fact, not before (and especially NOT during).

And I’m not knocking on guys for being that way – that’s just how they’re hardwired.

More often than not, a man is a creature driven by the constant need to achieve some sort of end result. When he’s out to make something happen, he’s going to put all his focus and energy into it until he gets the desired results.

When he does, he’ll think to himself, “Well, that was fun. Should I do it again? Or should I move on to something else?”

After you sleep with him, this same kind of thinking is likely to kick in. And just to make it clear, this also happens to be the single most important determining factor in your future relationship.

have an engaging conversation when going on a first date with a man 2 300x200 The Truth About Men – And What To Do About It

The thing about commitment is that it’s NEVER a decision you can force a guy to make. The most you can do is guide him towards it, as opposed to a draw-the-line-in-the-sand approach.

Commitment Do’s and Dont’s

Without a doubt, he’s going to enjoy the sex, but that’s not the issue here.

This applies to all people, but it goes for double for guys: sleeping with him is by no means a contract for him to stick around.

From a guy’s perspective, he has a few conditions that need to be met before he can make the decision to commit to someone:

  • He needs to appreciate the value of your affections
  • Being with you should be a prize he worked for, not something handed to him without a ‘fight’
  • The desire to invest himself into the relationship

When a guy made the team in high school, it was special to him because he had to prove himself before getting picked.

If the coach just slapped a varsity jacket on him just because he showed up at the try-outs, it wouldn’t have meant as much.

That’s kind of how dating is for them as well.

If he doesn’t get the same satisfaction from ‘winning’ the chance to be with a great gal like you, he wouldn’t have much of a reason to pursue a long-term relationship.

Guys are funny like that, I suppose.

Getting Him to Stay Put

Here’s what you do: first, make him feel really great whenever you’re together. Focus all your attention on him, and make sure you’re having a ball.

So whenever you’re with him, let the fun side of your personality shine. Make it a great experience for your guy – he’ll want more of it and that’s all the motivation he’ll need.

 

On the other side of the coin, you shouldn’t constantly check with him on where you stand or bug him all the time to see you.

If you have an attitude that says, “Are you feeling that chemistry yet?”, he’s not likely to feel those fireworks with you.

Instead of pressuring him, stay chill and pull back a little every now and then. Don’t be available to see him at a moment’s notice all the time – you’re not a firefighter on call!

Keep living your own life and stick to your daily schedule. Make ample time for him, but don’t drop your other commitments.

Let him make plans in advance and let him know whether the time works for you or not.

Above all, don’t agree to see him at a weird hour.

This is the perfect antidote to the infamous booty call. Setting the bar for good behavior will keep him at his best and make sure he respects the time you do spend with him.

If he sees that you’re bending over backwards to accommodate him, he’ll simultaneously find it off-putting and suffocating. He won’t want to be with someone who’s too intense or doesn’t have a sense of balance.

Sure, there are players, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t men who won’t want to commit given the right conditions. And yes, there’s always a risk involved (i.e. him not wanting to stay), but anything worthwhile doesn’t come that easily.

And that’s the whole point. Nothing awesome – like a healthy relationship for example – falls out of the sky.

It needs to be cultivated and cared for so it can blossom.

Playing The Game Right

Oh, and if you’re worried about sleeping with him before you feel you’re ready, you can adjust the escalation level based on what you do and DON’T do.

In fact, guys unconsciously want YOU to call the shots. They just don’t have that same calibration when it comes to sex, so make sure to give him the right cues.

Keep any jokes within PG-13 territory – if he goes into rated R stuff, steer the conversation back on track so he doesn’t get any ideas.

Here’s another tip: no guy comes up to a girl’s place at midnight, thinking it’s just for “coffee” or to admire her art collection.

So it’s best to avoid getting trapped in any position that might make him think you’re ready when you really aren’t.

Also, keep your exchanges of affection out of isolated areas. Make him feel that you’re into him with a little kiss or hug, but avoid letting it escalate by not being alone.

Restaurants, movie theaters or anywhere with people around are good places, for instance.

So the message you should get across is that he’s in good standing, but you need time to take things to the next level.

If he’s cool with that, he’ll get the hint and stick around. And hey, don’t sweat it if he isn’t.

If anything, it just means you’re meant for someone else who’s going to value you.

I know how tricky it can be to figure out what’s going on in a guy’s head. If you knew for sure, it would be much easier to decide how to move forward.

But sometimes, you just don’t know if he’s truly interested or not.

Fortunately, you now have a way to read him like a book, and it’s as easy as checking out this fantastic new course I’ve put together, CLICK HERE

Yours In Perfect Passion...

- Carlos Cavallo

10 Long Distance Relationship Tips - How To Make It Work!

A lot of people believe that long-distance relationships are a really bad idea. In fact, if you know what you're doing with a few long distance relationship tips, you can actually make it work. As a matter of fact, long-distance relationships can work just as well and even better than regular relationships. Whatever "regular" is. […]

Read More
21 Toxic Relationship Signs & How To Fix It

If you're looking for signs of a toxic relationship, you probably suspect you have some unhealthy patterns in your relationship. Or you may want to ensure that your relationship stays healthy. By recognizing the signs of a toxic relationship, you can avoid a lot of the problems that people run into in relationships. Let's face […]

Read More
25 Texts You Should NEVER Send A Guy

When it comes to texting a guy, you need to know what texts you should never send a guy more than anything else. Mistakes in texting will earn you silence - sometimes making him ghost you. Guys interpret what you text him. And if we see any red flags, we get more cautious, more silent, […]

Read More
"Do I Love Him?" 25 Signs You're In Love (And not just infatuated)

Sometimes it’s easy to doubt your feelings. When it comes to your love relationship, you might be wondering: "Do I love him?" Is He The One? Sometimes it happens right at the very start. You meet a guy and you just click. And you think right away, I'm falling in love. Other times, you might […]

Read More
Dating a Man With Kids - What You MUST Know FIRST

It's possible that dating a man with kids is one of the most complicated things to deal with in a relationship. But it can also be one of the most gratifying and amazing accomplishments. There's a lot to be interested in. After all if you don't have kids of your own, you might like the […]

Read More
Is He Pulling Away From You? 10 Tips To Save Your Relationship

Has he stopped texting you right back? Has he stopped calling you? You might be wondering, is he pulling away from you? Maybe he's just pulling back a little bit... He isn't texting as much or calling as much... Or maybe he's pulling back a lot... Maybe he's completely ghosted you... Unfortunately this situation is […]

Read More
He Does These 7 Things If He Wants A Serious Relationship With You

What does a man want? Even more important: Do you know what he wants in a serious relationship with you? Men are truly not that complicated. When it comes to our needs in a relationship, we don't have a whole lot that you need to worry about. But you do have to be sure that […]

Read More
How To Make Him Fall In Love With You Again

There's a good chance you're reading this because you've just gone through a breakup. And the one thing you want to know is how to make him fall in love with you again. The other likely possibility is that you sense he is no longer feeling the same as he once did for you. Maybe […]

Read More
Why Does He Keep Coming Back? When he doesn't even want a relationship?

If you've ever had a relationship that was rocky, and sometimes downright difficult, you may wonder why does he keep coming back? Is he half interested? Is he just using me? What the heck is going on? This can really drive you nuts because you feel like you have a good relationship. It's especially confusing […]

Read More
Does My Guy Friend Like Me? 16 Signs To Look For

Sometimes your guy friends might make you scratch your head. They act a little bit flirty, or maybe hold eye contact a little too long, and you start to wonder “Does my guy friend like me?” The truth is, many men try this tactic for working (sometimes weaseling) their way into a woman's heart. For […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram