I know I do. And I'm not some dreamy, starry eyed kid anymore, either. I've been through the ups and downs.
Yes, I still believe.
As Steve Martin said in the movie "L.A. Story," I believe there's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
If you still believe that there's someone out there for you - and I hope you do - I want to help you find him. I'm going to give you my tried and true 5-step method for finding the man of your dreams.
These steps work, and they work every time.
The only real question is if you'll follow them, or if you'll sit back and hope that destiny drops him into your lap. Because life isn't like a romantic comedy.
You need to get out and get looking for him. He doesn't have your address or your phone number, and he definitely doesn't read minds to pick you out of a crowd and find you on his own.
So let's get on with the plan...
STEP 1: ENVISON
This step is pretty darn important, yet I have met only a handful of people who have figured this step out on their own.
You gotta know what you're looking for, BEFORE you go looking for it.
Let me give you an example:
My friend Ashley went out looking for a new car a few weeks ago. She went to a Subaru dealership and left with a brand new Impreza. Sporty, red... cool!
Except that a few days later she realized it was totally NOT what she wanted. She just got caught up in the spirit of the moment and bought something they SOLD her on.
It's a great car, just not what she really wanted or needed.
This happened because she didn't go in there with a firm idea of what she did want. She just thought, Hmm - I need a new car.
The same thing will happen to you if you date around without a good idea of the guy you want to meet... or marry.
You'll get what you're given, and you may even find yourself settling for someone who is not what you want at all.
(Yeah, a lot of divorces happen because of this.)
Ok, so take a piece of paper out ... wait, sorry - open a Word or text document. (Who uses PAPER anymore?)
Take ten minutes to write down the basics of what you want in a man. Start with the physical aspects - if that matters at all to you. Then drill down into his personality.
What skills should he have?
What kind of character will he have?
What is his parenting style?
Even if you spend only FIVE lousy minutes on this exercise, you'll be light years ahead of most of the women you know.
Most women are in relationships they FELL into - because the chemistry was right - not the MAN.
Don't let that happen to you. CHOOSE what you want in life, and then make that your goal.
And don't worry - you can always change your list later if you find you were off about something. It's not set in stone.
But don't ignore this step just because you don't want to accidentally "eliminate" someone. You can't get what you want if you let everything you don't want occupy your mind and your attention.
Hone your focus.
No one ever hit the moon with a flashlight, but a laser can put a little red dot just about anywhere...
STEP 2: EMBED
Now that you've got an inkling of the man you want, you have to program this desire into your subconscious mind.
Napoleon Hill, author of the great book Think And Grow Rich, discovered the immense power of the subconscious mind when he went searching for the secrets of success among the achievers of the early 20th century.
He found that those who programmed their subconscious mind with what they wanted and then reviewed it regularly were almost 100% likely to get what they want.
This is true for ANYONE that uses this principle.
Just take that list of qualities and review it once a day - or heck, once a WEEK. Read it over, and take a little time to think about that guy.
Imagine him in your life...
Imagine yourself in his arms... feeling that satisfation of having found and captured the man of your dreams.
Does that feel good to you when you imagine it?
Just you wait until it's REALLY real. That's the feeling that lasts a lifetime...!
STEP 3: ENLIVEN
Even though you might know what kind of guy you want in your life - how do you know he will want you?
That's the question that haunts most women.
I'm here to tell you that most any man can be won, but few women know how to do that. But you have to be sure that you've done everything you can to get yourself ready for him to walk into your life.
You have to Enliven your own life! Make it exciting and fun to be a part of.
What are you doing to become the kind of woman that men find attractive?
Let me tell you something shocking here - something that the other dating advisors don't like to talk about: Men aren't interested in dating a woman that doesn't add something to his life.
You see, all men go into the dating world looking for sex. Yeah, it's true, we start with that focus, even if it isn't the best way to find a soulmate.
BUT - and this is CRITICAL - no man really stops with just wanting sex. His desire is what motivates him to chase you and win you over.
You have to tap into that energy, because it's the same energy that has sent armies to war, raised buildings, and changed the world.
And walked women down the aisle to get married.
And here's another secret: He doesn't really have to get you into bed to date you.
In fact, the sooner you give in to him and sleep with him, the faster his chase energy will disappear. (If he disappears because you said 'Let's wait', then he was never into you to begin with! FYI)
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