In today's dating world, it's hard to know if a man truly feels for you. You may find yourself looking for signs he cares about you quite often.
The trickiest part is knowing for sure. We all want guarantees when it comes to relationships - especially when we're in love.
But even more important, you want to know if he feels for you genuinely. You want to know if these are honest feelings of love, and not just lust or a desire to get you into bed.
There are a few ways you can do this without going insane in the process. Men give off very clear signs of how they feel. They do this through body language, words they use, and of course their actions.
Before I talk about some of the signs, let's talk about one very important fact about men:
Men will typically not tell you how they feel unless they are extremely emotionally compromised.
What I mean by this is that he will only tell you how he feels when:
He has the words to explain it
He is absolutely sure he feels it
He loses all ability to stop himself from telling you about his feelings
Most men simply don't have very good emotional coping mechanisms. But on the other side of that, there is one mechanism that has served him well.
Most men simply don't talk about their feelings with you to keep himself safe. We stay silent.
This is part of the nature of men. We are part born this way, and we are also nurtured to be this way.
Now you may think this means he doesn't care for you, if he can't talk about his feelings with you. But this is very far from the truth.
So when he is particularly quiet about his feelings, you can't project how he feels. Many women see men who are quiet and think this means he doesn't feel the same things you do. Not true at all.
He's just being as cautious as you are.
If he feels overwhelmed by his emotions for you, then he will break this Code of Silence and tell you how much he cares about you.
One of the big mistakes is to take any of these signs I’m going to show you and assume that if he doesn't show that sign, that means he doesn't care about you. That's not true either.
Here are a few quick reference signs for when a man does not care about you.
Let's look at some of the signs he isn’t The One for you first, before I get into the main list.
Signs He's Not The One For You:
No - or very little - trust: Without trust, your relationship is as good as dead...
You don't get a genuine Vibe of Desire from him. He should make you feel wanted and desired...
You never really feel like you're enough for him...
You're never his priority. He's always finding something more important...
He's not generous with you - whether that's buying you the occasional gift, or making you feel special from time to time...
He's cheated on you within the first several months of your relationship - this is a fatal mistake from which you should NOT forgive him...
He's very clingy and needy, very insecure - this usually means he will have more emotional and control issues coming soon...
He's into putting you down and making you feel inadequate or less than him...
No one in his family or friends knows about you...
He's only into the physical side of your relationship...
He almost never asks you questions about you, your interests, or your life...
You feel a lot of familiar anxieties come up from your childhood when you're with him...
Of course there are a ton more than these but they are a great place to start when you're wondering if he might not be the one for you.
Now, let's move over into the positive signs. These are some of the best indicators that a man cares about you and wants only the best for you.
SIGN #1 He Cares About You: Time is of his essence
One of the most important and treasured resources in a man's life is his time. Men value time most of all as it translates directly into his income and his recreation.
One of the most significant signs that he cares for you is his willingness to spend his time with you. Even if a guy is working two jobs, taking care of his mom, going to night school, whatever, he will make time for you if he cares for you.
This is a rule of relationships that many people trick themselves about. They will start making excuses for why the other person can't see them.
The truth is that we always make room - and time - for those we care about.
When a man has made the decision that he feels for you, time spent with you will be refreshing and rejuvenating for him. The energy and excitement of being with you is its own reward.
And you can bet your bottom dollar he will not avoid spending time with you.
This is a sign you can trust in. Don't ever make excuses for a man that isn't making time for you.
SIGN #2: DEEP Listening…
It's one thing to listen and just nod your head. Which, to be quite honest, is even hard to find these days.
But when a man really listens to you and lets you into his being, you'll know it. And it's a sure sign that he cares about you and loves you.
Deep listening is one of those skills that some men do possess.
A few of the ways you'll know he's deep listening to you:
He will ask you thoughtful questions
He won't judge you
He won't point out your errors and problems just to make himself feel superior
He may remain silent for most of the conversation. This may fool you because many of your women friends constantly interject and interrupt. Remember that men do not typically interrupt because we value being able to express a continuous thought.
SIGN #3: He’ll Tell A Different Kind Of Truth...
Look, the fact is that most humans aren’t good about being honest with themselves. We will often delude ourselves, ignore obvious signs, and trick ourselves into feeling good.
“Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” - George Orwell
Sometimes you need your man to tell you the uncomfortable truth. After all, if it’s true and you don’t like it, that’s not his fault.
Now obviously you want him to use some tact and tell you gently. If he's into telling you too much truth all the time to the point where it hurts you, then he's not really telling you the truth as much as leveraging ways to hurt you.
You definitely don't want a man to be rude or insult you just to push your buttons.
But if he's telling you from a genuine place of wanting you to make good decisions and help you, then he must want honesty above everything else.
But most guys simply tell the truth. We don't really have the same kind of gentle disclosure mechanism that most women have. It's something you have to be ready for in a relationship with a guy.
SIGN #4: He's your bodyguard…
Men are notoriously protective. We guard that which we love.
And when a guy thinks that someone has improperly Treated the woman in his life, he will switch into protective mode. He'll be glad to bounce anyone that does you wrong.
In fact, he may even pick the wrong fight - with a guy who could obviously beat him, all in the name of his love for you.
When I was in my twenties, I remember calling up a guy who was insistent on bothering the girl I was dating. I politely asked him to cut it out. And he was very respectful of my request. After it was all said and done, I was proud of having protected her in this way. She was also grateful and loving as well.
A guy doesn't need to be asked to protect you typically. He will gladly volunteer to step in if it's necessary.
SIGN #5: He's a big Giver in the boudoir…
When it comes to physical intimacy, a man will give way more than he gets if he genuinely cares for you. He's not doing it to get something back from you, but only to give you the pleasure you want.
A man loves giving you pleasure because it also gives him pleasure.
You may have heard me mention that a man's number one priority in a relationship is to make the woman happy.
And this is just one of those places where a man is generous about his giving.
And in the same way, if he isn't giving to you in the bedroom, that's a warning sign that he is not really feeling the love.
SIGN #6: Your friends and family give him the green light
Interestingly, the people that are closest to you tend to be the ones who resist when you have a new love in your life. That may be pretty frustrating for you, but it holds true.
This is because they only want the best for you. And they are watching critically to see if this guy measures up for you.
Sure, they only want you to be happy. But the truth is that they are also very protective of you.
So when the man in your life is welcomed and warmly pulled in by your family, that usually means they can sense how much he genuinely adores you.
SIGN #7: He's In It To Win It
Even though your relationship is essentially two single people coming together into one relationship, we realize that the relationship is where we both overlap.
When your man treats your relationship like a championship football team that must win at all costs, you've probably got a guy who will not let you down. His feelings run deep.
Just like the saying goes, there is no “I” in team.
What you're seeing is a mindset of dedication and devotion in action. Small actions show he's more into how you two can be a team are a dead giveaway that he cares for you in a big way.
SIGN #8: Small Sacrifices
While you shouldn't have to give up a lot to have a loving relationship, a strong relationship will involve a few sacrifices now and then. Sometimes this is through compromise, sometimes it's just giving something up to show that you're really invested in the relationship.
A guy who's really in it with you and cares about you will want to make your life better and easier.
He will be willing to do the things that he may not be asked to do. Or sometimes he will even be asked and he will just go along. Keep your eyes open for these gestures of love.
SIGN #9: He knows your pulse, and your temperature
One of the most powerful signs of how much a man cares about you and the relationship is he will want to know how you're doing. He'll be attentive to your emotional state.
Anyone who has invested their heart in a relationship will want to protect that investment.
This means he'll ask you about your day, but he'll also want to dig in and really understand what happened during your day. He may not be able to go into all the gory emotional detail, but he will want to know your feelings.
On the other hand, if he's not asking you questions or at least curious about where you both are with each other, that is a warning sign. It means he's not really worried about the relationship status. Which means, to him, it could keep going, or it could end.
However, if he seems to be a little too conscious of your relationship, that could be coming from his own anxiety.
Most men are a little bit aloof when it comes to relationships. They simply don't carry a lot of anxiety about the status of them.
A little awareness is good. But if he is too attentive to your relationship and asking frequently how you feel about him, he might be on the anxious attachment side. Being here is also a bad thing.
Seek for a balance. He should be curious and attentive, but not preoccupied.
SIGN #10: He’s staring at the horizon...
Guys are always looking out to the future. He keeps his eye on the horizon so that he knows how to plan his life.
When he has a woman in his life that he cares about, he will want to prepare for the future as well. You might find him doing some of the following:
Asking about the future with you. What you're planning, what's coming up in your schedule, Etc
If you mention future plans that don't explicitly include him, he will ask questions to find out if he's a part of them (you know you've done this before)
He will imply future commitments to you in the future as if they are a given
But the real trick here is knowing what to say when he does this with you. If you jump on those plans too quickly, you can scare him off.
This brings me to the most important sign:
BONUS SIGN HE CARES FOR YOU: He will test your love
It can be hard reading guys, no joke. Men are often very tight-lipped about how they're feeling, and they sometimes cover-up or cloak their feelings of love for you.
But one of the behaviors that most women aren't aware of is how men test women - and test her feelings.
Earlier, I mentioned that he will bring up the future with you. However, if you jump on this kind of future planning with him too quickly too early, you run the risk of scaring him off.
You might feel a little bit deceived when this happens too. After all, why would he bring that stuff up if he didn't expect you to go along with him?
Well the reality is he's testing the waters. He wants to see if you're resisting those future plans. Not if you are going along with the plans.
This is the key distinction you must be aware of.
If you start to seize on those plans and run with them, whether it's a vacation together or moving in together, you run the risk of freaking him out. The best thing you can do is to go along and not move in too quickly as if you were just waiting for the trap to snap shut.
Men will drop alluring bait in front of you in the form of small "teases." Stuff you'd like to have if you were more into getting a "commitment" from him than just wanting to love him for the present moment.
For example: He might throw out plans for the future that are enticing - just to see if you'll jump on them. If you start instagram-ming pictures of Bermuda because he mentioned a possible vacation there, he'll sense your desire to rush forward.
Women fall for this test all the time...
Are you just seeking out some kind of relationship "guarantee"?
Something you can call a "commitment"? (But really has no value on its own...)
What are the thoughts or intentions you might be embarrassed about if you were to reveal them to him?
We sometimes chase a person for a relationship and lose sight that our needs are only half the picture. They are looking for their needs to be met, too.
In fact, most women lose a man's interest because she doesn't even know what he's looking for in the relationship. She assumes it's all the cliché reasons that men get into a relationship - but then she realizes she's wrong.
Men want love and commitment - just like you do!
But they also want to be sure they are going to get their needs met.
Do you know what his needs are?
Do you know what men REALLY want?
Do you know what signals he's looking for that tell him you're The One for him?
If you don't, you need to find out right now. Or you risk never building a connection with him.
Just because he cares about you, that's not enough for him to commit his heart to you. He needs MORE.
Each man has his own connection "code" that tells him if the woman he's with is The One - the forever woman he can devote himself to.
The good news is that there are only 5 "connection codes" for ALL men!
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