Women want to feel more seen, heard, loved, and appreciated. But did you know guys do too? Do you know any compliments for a guy to make him feel your love?
Let’s put it this way:
How long would you stick around if you didn’t feel his love and appreciation?
Well, he won’t stick around long if you don’t give back to the Love Bank Account! So yes, you need to know the kind of compliments a man wants to hear...
Because some compliments won’t work. He won’t recognize them as a compliment. (There are a lot of “guy compliments” that he uses on you - that you miss!)
I can tell you from experience that most men NEVER get the kind of compliments they really want from a woman. So knowing these compliments for a guy will immediately give you the edge.
Now, keep in mind that all of these compliments can be used when TEXTING, too. Of course, every compliment works better if you say it in person.
Compliment Type #1: Recognize his efforts
One thing that many women don't realize is that men put a lot of physical and mental energy into making you happy.
In fact, you may not know this but men spend most of their time in a relationship focused on that one thing: Making you happy.
If you doubt this in any way, simply ask every guy you know at work or in your life if this is true when it comes to relationships. And tell him to really think about it.
I would say that at least 90% of men will agree that they are simply trying to make YOU happy in the relationship.
It all comes down to that (in)famous saying: “Happy wife, happy life”
Of course, men also know what happens when you're not happy and it comes time to go to the bedroom. In the words of Apollo 13: 'Houston, we have a problem.'
Guys don't only try to make you happy just to get sex - BUT that's one of the signals we watch out for.
We know if we want to be happy, YOU need to be happy.
So it's especially critical that you recognize the effort he puts in to make you happy. Keep an eye out for all the things he does to win your approval.
Of course, the tricky part is that many of the things he does you may not notice. And if you stop noticing them for long enough, he stops doing them.
You may notice this when it comes to chores around the house. If he didn't get recognized when he was doing them, he'll figure why bother? And then he stops putting that effort in.
So how do you compliment his efforts?
- “I really appreciate all the effort you put in around here.”
- “You are so good to me…”
- “Wow, you’re the best guy to have around in a pinch…”
- “You’re a regular Mr. Fixit! Thanks!”
- “What would I do without you around?”
- “Thanks for listening to me and letting me vent…”
Another important thing to recognize is that if he's not doing a lot right now, he may already be in that place of feeling under-appreciated. Start out by giving him the appreciation first, and then he will start to live up to your expectations.
There's a famous saying that I use quite a bit:
Don't be the person who sits in front of the fireplace saying: “FIRST you give me heat, THEN I'll give you the wood!”
Nothing in relationships ever works like that!
Compliment Type #2: Compliments of Respect
One thing I've noticed about mature, stable relationships is that the partners in them always respect each other. They don't resort to insults, petty put-downs, snarky comments, etc.
On the other hand, almost every single relationship that struggles has two people who probably aren't a good match for each other, constantly belittling the other person because of this poor match up.
I'm sure if you look back in your history, you'll find a similar pattern in many of your relationships. I know I have.
Here's a little secret about relationships you might not know:
Most of the problems in a relationship are simply because we expect the other person to behave and be just like us.
Literally exactly like ourselves.
We expect them to have the same:
- Communication styles
- (The list goes on and on!)
When this happens, respect is lost. And a relationship will soon be lost too.
This is why you need to make sure you compliment him by showing him respect. This is the first step to ensure that you get that respect right back. Because if he doesn't feel respected, why would he feel that he should pay that respect back?
While both men and women want respect, it's usually only in retrospect that you realize you weren't getting it.
Guys put extra value on respect, so this one is really important.
Here's a few ways you can show him it:
- “You’re a man of integrity…”
- “I really respect you…”
- “You’re such a hard worker…”
- “I really respect how you _____________”
By the way, if you don't feel respect for him to give him this compliment, why are you together?
If you're in a relationship where you can't find anything to respect about him, you need to get the hell out of there.
Compliment Type #3: You have faith in him
Another thing that men really want is for you to believe in him. Which is why it stings so much when a woman cuts a man down.
Especially when she communicates she doesn't believe in him.
He wants your faith in his ability.
He needs your faith to believe in himself in your relationship. Because there will be times when he doubts himself, and he will need your faith to bring himself back.
This is very often how women managed to pry into another relationship. There are some women who know this fact and use it to steal a man away from another woman.
You can tell him you respect him like this:
- “Once you put your mind to it, I know you’ll do it…”
- “I believe in you…”
- "You can get this done, I know it..."
- Remind him of something he’s already done…
Compliment Type #4: Compliment His Masculinity
Again we are in a culture where gender seems to be more and more blurry every passing day.
But rest assured that men are still men, and we still want women who are women. (I'm just talkin' about heterosexual relationships, as I always do.)
So when it comes right down to it, men want to feel like the man in the relationship. That means you can compliment him on anything that makes him feel more like he's the guy for you.
There's a wide variety of compliments that fit this description.
Let me give you some examples:
- “You're my hero…”
- “You are looking good today…” (Or just good in general)
- “Your butt looks great in those jeans” (Guys don't need as much visual appreciation, but we still appreciate it.)
- “Looking good handsome”
- “Even when you're a mess, you still look good”
- “You're my man”
You get the idea here. Simply establish that he is your one-and-only man, and he will respond to you.
Compliment Type #5: Trust compliments
Along with showing him you have faith in him, you also have to make sure he knows you trust him. That you would follow him and respect him as a leader in your relationship.
When it comes right down to it, you want a man that can make you feel safe.
Take a few seconds to really think about that. Imagine that you are with a man that does not make you feel safe. Don't you just want to run away?
This is essential for you to recognize: You NEED a man that can protect you. It is absolutely necessary, and you can't opt out of this.
When you tell him you trust him, he knows he has your confidence. If a man doesn't feel trusted he doesn't feel like a man.
So every compliment you can use that tells him you trust him is a good one.
- “I’m on your team…”
- “I’m with you…”
- “I got your back…”
- “I’d follow you anywhere…”
- “I’ll take your advice…”
Compliment Type #6: Let Him Know He’s Competent
Another need men have is to know that they are competent at what they do in life.
Competent means that he knows his stuff. Whether it's a hobby or his vocation or at lovemaking, he wants to know that he's good at it.
Because no man wants to think that he's inadequate or incompetent. That is a huge bruise to his ego.
Men are devastated when they discover they have work competence issues. A simple annual review can really affect him, even if he's not showing it on the surface.
So let him know that he's a winner - he is on top of his game.
- “You rock!”
- “Wow, you’re so good at that…”
- “You really know your stuff…”
- "That was awesome!"
- “You know a lot about that!”
The more you can make him feel like he's an expert, the better.
But What If He Doesn't Deserve The Compliment?
And once again, if you find that you cannot give him any of these compliments because they stick in your throat, because you don't honestly believe what you're saying - It's for one of two reasons:
- REASON 1 YOU CAN'T COMPLIMENT HIM: You have a very fragile sense of your self worth, and so complimenting others is difficult. It feels like giving value to others somehow diminishes YOU in some way.
- REASON 2 YOU CAN'T COMPLIMENT HIM: You are in a relationship that isn’t well matched. You might be seeking to hold on to him because of your own attachment issues. You really shouldn't be in that relationship.
These are the two most likely causes. And both of these can be really hard to accept about yourself.
And yes, no matter which one is your situation, it demands immediate attention.
For many years I had the first problem - not being able to compliment others because I was insecure about my own worth. My relationships kept failing, one after the other, until I addressed it. There's no escaping.
If you're in a relationship where you're not really that compatible with him, or he is someone that you find you can't really compliment, it's time to leave.
No joke, if you are hoping you can change him into the person that you can compliment, I want you to look back on your life and count up how many times that has work for you in the past.
I'm guessing zero, or else you be married to him.
So it's time to face the facts and leave this relationship before he leaves you. I'm sure there are other advisers out there who would tell you to just “work on it.” However, I won’t lie to you. there's very little chance you can salvage it.
BONUS 1: Believe It
Another vitally important part of your compliment is that you act like you believe what you’re saying. If you tell him you trust him, but then you proceed to quiz and question and undermine his feeling of being trustable, you can imagine what will happen...
He simply will stop trusting you back!
And - even worse - he'll probably stop believing you when you compliment him. That would be the death of your relationship.
And one last BONUS tip:
BONUS 2: Be Specific With Your Compliment
Very often, men feel like the compliments they get are on the weak side. They lack believability because he isn't really sure what you're complimenting about him. Or if it really even fits him. It feels generic, like it could be for any guy.
We all suffer from the "impostor syndrome." This is that feeling that we're actually just impostors in our life - and we're always going to be "found out" as a fraud.
This is why a specific compliment that zeroes in on him and leaves no doubts is the best compliment.
Don't tell him he's "handsome." That's a bit weak.
Instead, tell him you "love the way his beard gives him a strong 'King Leonidas' look." (From the movie "300." Very much a guy movie, and he'll get the reference.)
And the best compliment of all is one that either compliments his ability in some way, or WHO HE IS as a man.
The more you can compliment an identity he's striving towards, the better.
The trick of compliments are to use the kind of words that a guy can appreciate and understand. You have to know the words and the PHRASES that men respond to.
There are certain words that trigger a man's obsession with a woman.
You may have seen a guy when a woman says just the right thing to him, and he's smitten.
How does a woman have this kind of effect on a man?
Go watch this video and find out...