Is He Cheating? – How Technology Has Influenced (and Deterred) Infidelity
Have you ever wondered “Is He Cheating On Me?” and how often people actually cheat?
And is it possible NOT to cheat in the digital age?
Most people have wondered at some point if their partner has ever cheated on them. If you want to know the truth, you have every right to! Chances are, you have been cheated on.
A recent study through National Cellular Directory has found that 90% of people have been cheated on at least once in their dating history. So asking the question “is he cheating on me” could be closer to home than you realize.
An overwhelming percentage.
The same study shows that most people are finding out their partner is cheating through various forms of technology.
Because even though technology creates cheaters, technology can also catch cheaters.
Let’s talk about how you can catch your partner through the technological devices that they use everyday.
But first, here are some tips you can use to find out “is he cheating” and catch him cheating before you turn to their digital devices.
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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Step #1 – Quietly observe
Observe your partner’s behavior without giving it away that you think they are cheating. The last thing you want to do is let them know that you suspect infidelity.
For example, does your partner seem distant, on edge, and/or distracted? Do they not look you in the eye as often? Their behavior towards you will speak volumes to either their fidelity or infidelity.
Additionally, see if anything else has changed in your partner’s schedule or hobbies.
Some common questions to ask yourself when determining the chances of infidelity in your relationship:
- Has your partner’s hours changed at work abruptly with no explanation?
- Is your partner hanging out with a new group of friends?
- Is your partner all of a sudden interested in things that he/she has never been interested in before?
- Does your partner go to the gym more or is going to the gym when they have never been athletic?
- Is your partner dressing better and buying new clothes?
- Does your partner answer the phone less often?
- Does your partner act secretive when leaving the house?
Pay attention to your partner’s behavior and take notes. You can use their behavior to determine if you should move to the next step.
Is He Cheating? – Step #2- Look for clues in your home
Before checking technology for clues, first check your home or your partner’s home if you don’t cohabitate.
Here are some ways to look for infidelity clues.
Is he cheating?
- Look in your partner’s pockets.
- Check their clothes to smell cologne/perfume that isn’t theirs or yours.
- Sneak a peek at your partner’s wallet/purse.
- You can even step out of your/their place of residence and check their GPS in their car.
Simply use your imagination and think about what you can find that may give your partner’s infidelity away.
Now that you have studied their behavior and looked for clues to help build your case, here are the the top five ways you can use technology to catch your partner cheating based of a recent survey of victims of infidelity.
Is He Cheating – Technology’s role in infidelity
A recent study on catching cheaters conducted by National Cellular Directory found that technology plays a huge role in the act of cheating as well as catching cheaters.
Technology has given people new opportunities for individuals to commit adultery. However, the same new innovations has also allowed people to discover their partner’s infidelity in ways they have never been able to before.
You can use technology to answer “Is he cheating?”
Let’s dive in on how the participants of the study found out their partner was cheating and how you can use the findings of this study to catch your partner in the act of infidelity.
Way #1-Texting history
The study found that 36% of people find out their partner was cheating by checking their partner’s texts
You can start by check your partner’s text history by glancing at their phone. Unfortunately, if your partner secretly deletes texts it will be hard to prove that they are committing infidelity.
You need to be just as discreet as your partner is by checking their texts without them knowing. While they are sleeping, in the shower, in the middle of the night if you have to. If your partner is committed to you romantically and only you, looking at their phone is no spying.
When looking through their texts, look for the following red flags:
- Texts that are coming in late at night. Even if the name associated with the number is familiar,, they might have changed the name on their contact list so you wouldn’t know who they are talking to.
- Look for “code words” in texts. You can do this by looking for a word or phrase that is repeated often and doesn’t seem to make sense.
- Texts that are suddenly deleted, or you catch your partner deleting texts.
If you find any numbers associated with the red flags listed above, you can find out who your partner is cheating by looking up the phone number.
Way #2 – Call history
The study found that 34% of people found out through their call history.
You can check who your partner is talking on the phone to by looking at their cell phone call history.
However, your partner may be deleting their call history on their phone so you can also check their phone bill. He doesn’t want you asking “is he cheating on me?”
When looking through their call history, be on the lookout for the following red flags:
- Incoming or outgoing call after business hours.
- Repeated calls to the same phone number.
- Calls during “missing hours” where your spouse didn’t answer the phone. For example, your partner said their phone was off while they were working a late night, but you see call activity during that time.
If you see any of these patterns, write down any numbers that are a part of the pattern and look them up.
The study found that 29% of people find out their partner is cheating via social media.
If you want to try and catch your partner cheating on social media, you will need to look for little clues/patterns like in the other steps above.
However, it is more than likely that your partner is covering their tracks, they could have secret social media accounts from you and/or delete their messages before you see.
When looking through your partner’s social media accounts, check these red flags for is he cheating:
- Check for any friend requests from unfamiliar women/men…
- Check for any hidden social media accounts by Googling any usernames that are associated with your partner.
- Google your partner’s full name (it’s worth a try)…
- Check through their messages on social media at times during the day/night when your partner isn’t checking their social media accounts as often (such as when they are at work or sleeping)…
- Look through the accounts that like and/or comment on your partner’s social media posts and pictures to see if any of them could be a love interest…
Way #4 – His internet history will answer “Is he cheating”
The study found that 21% of people find out their partner is cheating through their internet history.
You can start by browsing your partner’s internet history. Look for any dating websites or logins to email accounts (or other types of online accounts) that you are unaware of.
If they delete their internet history, you still might be able to see some of their internet history through cookies.
Cookies can reveal the sites that your spouse has visited as well as give you access to their accounts through saved passwords.
Additionally, targeted ads are based on search history, so you can use the ads that appear on your partner’s smartphone and laptop browser to give you clues to what they are looking at online.
Way #5 – Through a private investigator
The study found that 1% of people find out that their partner is cheating through a private investigator.
It used to be that private investigators would follow people around to see what they were doing and where they were going, is he cheating.
Modern private investigators now also are also experts at the art of internet sleuthing to answer is he cheating.
If you think that your partner is cheating but you haven’t been able to find evidence of infidelity, a private investigator can do the work for you. However, they do cost a pretty penny.
Technology plays a major role in infidelity
With computers and phones making it easy to connect with people across the world or right next door, the act of infidelity has become an option for almost anyone.
Our phones are always in our pockets, our computers have become portable. What is considered cheating depends on the couple, but most people would consider some online sexual acts (such as webcamming) as cheating.
However, what really hurts the victim of infidelity is the secrets, the lying, the loss of trust and the distance.
For most couples who have experienced infidelity, the feeling of betrayal long after the actual act is so much worse, especially if the partner was not honest about the infidelity.
When a partner has to catch their spouse cheating, it is SO MUCH WORSE. The trust completely diminishes as their partner wouldn’t even come clean about their infidelity.
If you are the cheating partner…
It doesn’t matter if your friends or co-workers tell you to lie and that it’s not a big deal.
Additionally, how you feel doesn’t impact if you tell your partner or not. What does matter is that you are honest so your partner doesn’t find out for themselves and can’t trust you to be honest again.
If they confront you about your infidelity…
If your significant other is asking if you have cheated, they’ve probably already figured it out themselves or have heard rumors and if you tell your partner the truth at this point there is still hope that they can trust you again.
If your partner asks you directly and you lie to their face it makes it about unimaginable for them to ever confide and trust you again. It would be even more embarrassing if you lied and stated that you didn’t cheat and they pulled up phone records, texts and social media messages that are proof of your infidelity. Save yourself the embarrassment and fess up.
On a final note…
If you you find yourself asking – Is he cheating? – it is best to get to the bottom of things (even if it is just for your peace of mind).
Technology plays a major role in the world of infidelity. With that being said, it is also technology that helps victims of infidelity as they go through the process of digging up the details of their partner’s cheating habits. Use the methods above to help you determine if your partner is faithful or a fool.