How To Be Mysterious - And Make Any Man Desire You
By: Carlos Cavallo
If you ever watched a movie where a woman seduced a man, you may have wondered how to be mysterious like that. How do you make yourself attractive and alluring by being mysterious?
Unfortunately, most women don't learn the ancient art of how to use their Feminine Mystique anymore. It's very rare that girls are taught how to be coy with boys.
The allure of a beautiful, mysterious woman...
And when you grow up, if you haven't learned this, it's very easy to fall into bad habits with guys. You find that you don't have the same kind of seductive power that the glamorous actresses have in the movies.
Well, it's time to change that. In this article we're going to explore how to be mysterious with men. And how to use this mystery to make him desire you - and fall in love with you.
The principles for being mysterious are based in psychology. We are curious about things naturally. And people are some of the most curious things on the planet.
First - as I usually do - I'm going to explain some of the things that destroy mystery. This will help you avoid some bad habits that may have crept into your dating.
Here are a few things you should definitely NOT do:
DESTROY THE MYSTERY - Don’t Do This #1: Don't drop too many hints
In fact, hints are okay if you aren't hinting too much about your interest in him.
For a while there when I was dating, it was pretty often that the girl I was on a date with would blurt out how interested she was in me. Right after that happened, I felt like the wind had been taken out of my sails.
There was no suspense. And it took all the fun out of my efforts to win her over. I just didn't feel any challenge.
I was bored before I began.
So keep your intentions and interests TO YOURSELF. It's what he doesn't know that makes him interested.
Don’t Do This #2: Don't talk about the future
It's disappointing to have your desires confirmed too early. For the same reason that when a football team is doing really well at the start of a game, that can make the game boring after a while. You want the game to be close to make it interesting.
The same thing is true about relationships. That early time, where things are still up in the air, where you don't really know if the other person is interested in you, is the most exciting part of a developing relationship.
This is where being mysterious comes into your playbook...
Don't confirm his curiosity too early. Keep the possible future a mystery to him where you're concerned.
Don’t Do This #3: Don't Tell Too Much
Sometimes it's very tempting to open your heart and tell him everything about you when you feel a click with him.
Bad idea. It's impulsive and it can really get you into trouble.
And the fact of the matter is that if you have interesting things to share with him, they are best offered at a drip not a pour. This is essential to your mystery.
We are conditioned to get to know someone slowly. That's how we develop a connection. If you tell him too much too soon, you run the risk of him making decisions about you without fully investing his heart yet.
Don’t Do This #4: Don't be too coy
Sometimes a woman can hold back too much. She thinks that being very tight-lipped and silent will make her sexy. But you can go too far.
It's true that the less you say, the less he can make a decision about you too early. That's a good thing.
But you also have to give him something to entice his curiosity. (We'll talk about that in the next section.)
Curiosity from him = Mystery from you
What Is A Mysterious Woman?
First of all, let's take a moment to discuss what mystery really is. It's simply the ability to entice a man's imagination into thinking about you. Nonstop.
Keep him wondering...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's something I'm sure you're interested in. Every woman intuitively knows that if a guy is thinking about her, he must be interested in her.
And if he keeps thinking about her, he will fall in love with her. It's guaranteed.
You may want to argue for all kinds of flowering notions, such as “letting everyone in your heart and being wide open to everybody.”
This is a surefire recipe for disaster.
Not everyone deserves all of you.
The people that are most in demand, that are most loved, limit how much of themselves they give away to other people. They are generous and compassionate, but they are not frivolous with their life force.
Being mysterious is knowing how to tantalize people with their own imaginations.
Starting today, adopt a philosophy of valuing your time and energy above other people's. This will make you happier and healthier and better able to connect and give to others when the time is right.
"Not everyone deserves to have you. It's time to start acting like it." - Carlos Cavallo
Think about mystery like this…
If you watch a good mystery movie, like Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rear Window” - or an Agatha Christie novel, what’s the worst thing someone could do? That's right - tell you the ending. That spoils the mystery and makes finishing the movie or book pointless.
That's what it's like for a guy when you tell him everything about you. Leave as much as you can to his imagination.
Let’s start with the first strategy:
Be Mysterious - Tip 1: The Eyes Have It
There are very few people who aren't aware that eye contact is one of the most powerful ways human beings connect. In fact, the reason our eyes look the way they do is to allow us to read emotions in other people's eyes.
Mystery... It's in your eyes.
The coloring of your iris - whether that's brown, blue, hazel, whatever - is simply a way to make your eyes stand out as different.
And they are as unique as your fingerprints.
Making good eye contact, for a couple of seconds at a time, is one of the best ways to entice a man's attention and create that mysterious allure.
Don't hold eye contact for too long as it may be intimidating to him. Just a few seconds is all you need.
Tip 2: Don't be too obvious in wardrobe
It's important that you don't give away too much in your appearance. One of the ways that women lose their mystery is when they dress in overly sexual or revealing ways.
Guys are most fascinated by women who are demure and careful about their appearance. Almost to the point of appearing proper.
When a woman dresses overly sexual, she broadcasts her intentions. It's obvious that she's seeking attention.
Keep him guessing and wondering for as long as possible.
Tip 3: Play your cards close to the vest
What this means is you should keep details of your life and your lifestyle to yourself. Let him wonder about you more than you tell him about you.
This doesn't mean that you withhold all details from him. On the contrary, you should tell him about yourself.
But know when to hold back.
If you start telling him about one of your hobbies and he seems interested, tell him a little bit about it, but don't tell him everything. Make sure you leave him with some curiosity.
The big mistake many women make is when the guy expresses interest in her, and she proceeds to eat up all the attention. Usually, she just talks too much and eventually he loses interest. This is devastating to the buildup of your Mystery.
Tip 4: Control your availability
You may have heard this before, but you need to make sure that you are a little hard to get. Your schedule should leave only small opportunities for him to fit himself in.
Your first reaction will be that if you don't make yourself available, how will you ever see him?
But this is the opposite way of looking at it.
Ask yourself: If you are a high demand woman, how would you behave?
Would you put everything aside to jump on any offer from any man?
No, of course not. You would weigh each option. You would not waste your time with men that you didn't consider really good candidates.
If you limit your time, the men that are really into you will make it clear how much they are into you. They will be motivated by your mystery.
As the saying goes, stop watering dead plants. Value your time and don't let anyone waste it.
After all, time is all you have in life.
Be A Mystery To Him - Tip 5: Be The Eye - Not The Storm
Women who are really confident have a very calm demeanor. They seem almost too calm, if you catch my drift.
Be the "calm" not the storm...
But we look to those people for grounding and stability.
To the best of your ability, always appear unruffled and completely relaxed around him. Almost to the point of seeming like you're observing him.
Men aren't used to encountering women who are cool, calm, collected. If you are, he will find you as a calm eye in the storm of life.
You should radiate CALM.
Tip 6: Being mysterious is not the same as hard-to-get
But both are GOOD!
When you want to be a mystery to a man, you know that this will serve you. It will get his interest.
And on the other hand, being hard-to-get is not bad, either.
Forget all those silly articles and New Age fluff that tells you that playing hard-to-get is manipulating. It's not. (If you doubt this read my article on it….) LINK
"Hard to get is good. Hard to get is how you get a man to really appreciate you and value you."
If you have tried being easy to get, you probably already know this. You probably already failed so many times with guys trying to be 'Miss Nice' and 'Miss Easy' that it makes you a little sick to your stomach.
There are a lot of conflicting messages about the difference between valuing yourself - and being a jerk.
Where does your confidence come from...?
Being hard-to-get also doesn't mean rejecting men. It means you give him enough challenge to see if he's really got what it takes to win you.
Just keep in mind that playing hard-to-get works.
Anyone that tells you otherwise is just afraid to demonstrate some posture and backbone. They're afraid to look like a b****, so they end up looking like a jellyfish.
And of course they get walked on by men like a rug.
Don't fall for this nonsense.
Be a ‘nice’ person, but don't be a pushover. Those are two different things.
Tip 7: Mysterious is a lifestyle
Even 20 years into a marriage, you should be challenging your husband to win you again and again... and again.
This is why the best relationships last. Because neither person gave up on keeping it interesting for the other person in the relationship.
You don't turn on your mystery just to win him, and then let it go. If you do that, you'll lose his interest later rather than sooner.
Instead, resolve yourself to be a woman who IS mysterious. It's your IDENTITY. Just enough mystery that you keep people's interest in you going.
Especially his interest.
In time, you'll find that it's much less work to let him “investigate” and chase you than it is for you to pursue him.
Stop chasing men!
It never works out for women who ruin their mystery by being obvious and needy.
Tip 8: Mysterious Is Not The Same As 'Pompous' or Arrogant
Some people think that being mysterious means you must act a little Superior.
This is not true at all. Being mysterious simply means you are being confidently humble.
Just a little bit out of reach. Not because you're stuck up, but because you're cautious.
You're not arrogant - you're self-assured.
Women who are mysterious know that they have VALUE to the world, which is why they don't give it all away by being obvious. They know that men (and women) value what is hard to get.
Trust me that your life will be much more happy when you live it from a place of valuing yourself.
Tip 9: Mix It Up
Another great way to be mysterious is to simply be a little bit more unpredictable than the average woman.
Mind you, I said unpredictable. Not erratic or unstable.
Unpredictability entices the male mind. Men are fascinated with women who don't conform to their expectations. A woman who acts in a way that he isn't used to seeing.
The unfortunate truth is that most women are UN-mysterious in the presence of a man. Which is to say, usually very predictable.
Have a few questions he hasn't heard before.
Tell him a story he's probably never heard.
If you usually act overly interested, try being a little bit more aloof…
These simple changes can make a big difference when it comes to projecting an air of mystery and getting a man interested in you.
A guy is going to ask a woman out simply if she seems just different enough from other women.
Tip 10: Be a little quieter on social media
Another way that many people broadcast their insecurities and destroy the mystery is by posting too much information on Facebook. Or Twitter or any of the other social media channels.
There's no mystery here.
Not knowing what someone is up to leads to being mysterious. And yet so many people give away all their Mystery by basically publishing their entire week’s schedule online.
Cut back on sharing those memes.
Maybe you don't need to post that picture of your lunch today...
If you have dirty laundry, don't air it on social media. Publishing unnecessary drama makes you look like a drama queen.
In fact, LESS is more. Post a picture every so often, but make it worthwhile. Make it meaningful.
Post quotes that are cryptic and expressing different ideas. Be mysterious to others and watch how they start to respond more to you.
There are so many different ways to use social media to your benefit. One of the best is to simply lean back and not use it so much.
Think about the friends you have that DON'T talk that much. Your curiosity probably makes you wonder more about those women more than anyone else.
Tip 11: Get A Grip On The Emo
Unfortunately the one thing that will scare a guy off faster than asking him to pay off your student loan debt is if you throw too much emotion at him.
Drama is the complete opposite of mystery...
Guys can handle emotions, but only to a certain point. After a certain Peak is hit, he is overwhelmed. In fact, there's a term for it - it's called "emotional flooding."
And trust me, you don't want to go there.
So the best thing you can do to be mysterious is to make sure you have your emotions well under control.
This doesn't mean that you have to be serious all the time, or you can't challenge him. But you do want to make sure that he isn't witness to a lot of drama.
Even that word - drama - makes some people cringe.
If you can keep on an even keel, he will be responsive to you. And he'll STAY responsive to you...
The truth about being mysterious is that men are drawn to mystery. We love a mysterious woman because she fires up our imagination, and makes us wonder what she's made of.
Men are fairly simple. We don't have a complicated emotional life. We experience an emotion and in a minute or two, it's mostly gone. (Unless we're angry.)
So when we encounter the complicated emotional terrain of a woman's mind, we become FASCINATED with her.
And fascination creates OBSESSION in a man's mind.
Knowing how men think is VITAL if you want to get him to desire you - AND keep him interested in you!
That's why the lost art of creating mystery in a man's mind can give you the edge you need to finally land that special guy.
The one you REALLY want.
If you're ready to stop losing relationships, it's time you learned how men think - and what makes him desire you...
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