Are you worried that he could be GAY?

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

Some women get into a relationship with a guy and they're worried that he could be gay.

Today I've got an interesting situation - a guy who seems like he's into her, but... maybe there's more to it.

What do you think?

Read on...

DATING & RELATIONSHIP QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hey, Carlos - It's been amazing working with your Forever Yours program - I'm learning so much, and getting the courage to change things in my life!

I am in a tough situation, please advise.

I have fallen in love with a colleague living overseas, who is very successful. We are both performers. We did everything in our power to collaborate as soon as we could, and just spent 2 weeks together on 2 projects in Europe, and planning more in upcoming months.

%name Are you worried that he could be GAY?

After lots of interest and support shown to me from overseas, he was flirting heavily with me in person, but in the end nothing really happened in the physical realm, not even a kiss. He also commented continuously that we need to talk, and asked me to extend my trip by two days for that reason, but even with the extra time, we never discussed any personal matters, just set lots of plans for future work.

Everyone who experienced our join performance and saw us together thought there is electricity flowing through us and that our voices sound like one, it was incredible, we opened a lot of doors to people's hearts.

At the same time, he has shared a lot of intimate personal history with me, I've done the same, and we clearly have a very strong connection between us, with trust deepening.

There are two strong complications:

After being heterosexual until 24 or so, he has been involved with men in the last 7-8 years, although modestly; he told me he is not opposed to being with women, but it has not happened since.

I myself am in a BTN relationship, I believe; with a great man overall, but I've fallen out of love completely, since he is very unhappy with the way he's chosen to make money and disregard what he is passioned for - music. We have a sunny 3.5 yo son too, for whom I'd love to provide an environment filled with genuine love, joy and intimacy, which I long to experience myself.

I would love to gain more clarity on whether he is interested in me as a woman, and in having a relationship with me.

From Forever Yours I gather that I should probably give him some space and back off right now, since he seems scared to move forward, even start looking at other people, or maybe give another chance to reconnect with my current partner - he sees we are on the verge of separating and finally willing to make an effort on his side as well; still I'm head over heels into my colleague.

What should I do??!

Please offer your acutely tuned expert advice!

With deep gratitude,

- Vicky
______________________
CARLOS CAVALLO ANSWERS:

Vicky, I have to say that you have an interesting situation.

Unfortunately, there's also a Chinese curse that says: "May you live in interesting times."

I don't think you're cursed, by any stretch, but I understand your confusion and frustration about this man.

I have a big concern about this guy that you should probably focus on a bit more. You said that: "he has been involved with men in the last 7-8 years" and that "he told me he is not opposed to being with women."Hang on, Vicky...The truth is -I think he's gay.Not really bisexual, either.Gay.

Why?

Any man with a yearning for women would not express it as weakly as: "not opposed to being with women."

A man with a strong sex drive for a woman would never describe it in those terms - no matter how paraphrased that might be.

how do average guys get hot women Are you worried that he could be GAY?

When I think of women - and I'm a typical guy - I get a hot flash of "YEAH BABY! GIMME SOME OF THAT!"

You'd never hear someone describing something they have a passion for as "not opposed" to it. That's like me saying that I'm not opposed to a really good meal.

I believe that's described as "damning with faint praise."

I believe it's been shown in studies that women are much more open to same-sex fun and romance than men are, so you might be more liberal minded about his interest in guys.

But if he's been with just guys for 7-8 years, that's a huge clue right there that he's more into the dudes than dudettes.

It's also fairly well known that many men find it so difficult to "come out" that they will play at being bi when they are actually just fooling themselves.

Now, I could be off the mark on this, but this is my gut feel.

Especially when you said: "nothing really happened in the physical realm, not even a kiss"

If a guy feels desire he WILL kiss you.

We're not equipped with some magical resistance potion to women. If we want you, we get a boner and chase you.

It is literally THAT simple. Pretending he's got something else holding him back in his mind is rationalizing.

When it comes to romance, if there isn't passion - it isn't satisfying. To either person. And you obviously deserve to have that passion with someone. I just don't think it's him.

What I think you have is a passion for performing together, and you are well-matched there. You're creating a passion in your performance, and that's being *mistaken* as romantic possibility.

Now if you really want to see if there's something underneath this guy's confusion and lack of action, by all means - you're going to be working with him so you have some time to figure it out.

And, yes, you need to completely back off from him if he's ever going to have the space to know if he really does have feelings or not.

I just want to protect you from the very real possibility that this guy is not someone you're in love with. Love is never really one-way only.

It's a complete circuit that requires both to participate. What YOU have is an infatuation that is strong.

But you need him to return that favor for it to turn into real Love.

Again, I hate to be the guy that says - "Meh, move on..."

I'd really like there to be some chance for you to make this work. If that's going to happen, your co-worker needs to awaken some very real passion. And that will have nothing to do with talking, by the way. You need to see ACTION.

Let me know how things go. And in the meantime, keep your own options open for a man who has real, awakened passion and sexual desire for a smart, capable woman.

Remember, love and passion doesn't need rational convincing. It's not something that takes effort just to start. It's already there for you...

And here's hoping it awakens with him...

Yours in Perfect Passion,

- Carlos Cavallo

Just go here and watch this short video, and discover the 3 questions that make any man open his heart, adore you the way you deserve, and make him yours forever...

240x400 2 Are you worried that he could be GAY?

UPDATED 9/24/2021

Carlos Cavallo's Dating Advice Guru Relationship Tips For Women
Carlos Cavallo - Dating Advice For Women

Carlos Cavallo Dating and Relationship Guru

FREE Report!

The 7 Mistakes Women Make That Make Men Pull Away...

  • The REAL Reason Men Run From Relationships...
  • How To Know If He's Still Interested In You...
  • Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out...
MORE
  • Take The Quiz!...
  • Listen to Carlos podcast

  • Carlos Cavallo's Relationship Tips

    Dating & Relationship Advice Published By:

    Morpheus Productions, LLC
    1115 Madison St NE #1047
    Salem, OR 97301

    1-888-414-0780

  • More Articles

    Unhappy In a Relationship - How To Fix It

    When you're unhappy in a relationship it's one of the most difficult situations. When you've got relationship problems, everything else just seems to fade into the background, and you want to know how to fix it. You wish you had a Magic Pill that would turn your unhappy relationship into a healthy relationship. Whatever the […]

    Read More
    How To Get Over Someone You Love

    According to relationship experts, the best way to get over someone you love is to just "get over them". But, this is the worst advice ever for how to get over someone. Breaking up hurts. But it doesn't need to be constant suffering. If you want to know how to get through a breakup, that's […]

    Read More
    How To Get His Attention Back Fast - Without Looking Desperate!

    You can be in a real panic when a guy stops paying attention to you or ignores you. When you feel him slipping away, all you can think about is how to get his attention back fast - and without looking desperate. If you sense he has lost enthusiasm for you, you don't want to […]

    Read More
    How To Get The Spark Back In A Relationship - 8 Must-Read Tips

    Every relationship is awesome at the beginning. But it's also perfectly natural to have slow periods in your relationship. You may be wondering right now how to get the spark back in your relationship. Falling in love is easy when the feelings of passion and desire run high. Staying in love is a little trickier. […]

    Read More
    "My Boyfriend Won't Make Time For Me!" - 9 Tips To Be His Priority

    If you've ever been in a relationship where you want to get the attention you deserve, you might have found yourself feeling neglected and unwanted. You may have even told your friends "My boyfriend won't make time for me! What the heck should I do?" Let's tackle this tricky situation and give you the tips […]

    Read More
    How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work - 20 Secrets To Success

    A long-distance relationship can be one of the most challenging situations for dating. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work you gotta know what most women don't know! There are a lot of barriers to keeping a long distance relationship healthy. A lot of people don't believe that long-distance […]

    Read More
    Is He Just A Friend - Or Is He Interested In You? - 16 Tips!

    If you've ever been in love with a guy and wondered: Is he just a friend or is he interested? - you're not alone. When a man and a woman hang out, even if they're only friends, there's always going to be a little bit of sexual tension. Many studies have shown that the number […]

    Read More
    Dating A Younger Man? 25 Things You Better Know

    One of the most controversial parts of dating and relationships is the age of your partner. Is it okay to date someone younger, older? If you're dating a younger man, you better know what to do. We often think about older women dating younger men as “cougars.”  But that label is just not fair. You […]

    Read More
    Will a Man Change For The Right Woman? Will He Change For YOU?

    One of the most common Romance novel plots is the rich, womanizing playboy that finds an amazing woman, realizes the error of his ways, and settles down to be tamed by this amazing woman. But is this realistic? Will a man change for the right woman? Well, we all change over the course of our […]

    Read More
    When To Date Exclusively - When does a relationship become exclusive?

    One of the most important milestones in a relationship is when you become exclusive. It's also one of the most anxious times for women because she's waiting for weeks or even months to figure out “Where is this going?"  So let's talk about exclusive relationships, and when does a relationship become exclusive? In many surveys, […]

    Read More

    WHY HE STOPPED LOVING YOU...

    FREE EBOOK & VIDEO Shows you whyhe stopped loving you...

    - The REAL Reasons Men Pull Away

    - How To Know If He's Still In Love

    - Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out!

    Your Book is on the way... Check your email now!

    linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram