Is it love at first sight?

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

QUESTION FROM A READER:

I heard you on Art of Love series, and loved what you said. I had been a part of Christian Carter's programs and seminars... you are much more to the point, clear and concise and I love the extra information you get into.

I liked the visuals you provide along with the video explanation. You don't drag on before getting to the point. I like how organized your program is.

I have a question that it would be great to clarify: Love at first sight versus "strong attraction from the start."

7 ways 1 Is it love at first sight?

You say if it's not there "at the start" it will only be a buddy relationship.

I agree, but can you clarify "what is the start?" First or second date, or first few months of dating? What time frame would you give that "at the start" phase? Some people think it has to be by the second date. I'd love your thought on this!!

Jody - Los Angeles, CA
______________________

CARLOS CAVALLO ANSWERS:

Ah, that's an excellent question... When is "love at first sight"?

Well, let's be very clear... I believe in "lust that could be love - eventually" at first sight.

But when we jump in head-first to a relationship with someone just because the chemistry is good - we have to ask, is that really LOVE?

I believe that love takes time to form. You may have an inkling that something is hot between you two, but you can't know that it's love without knowing the person.

I've seen so many great relationships potentially ruined because one - or both - people didn't take the time to develop things more naturally. Instead, things were rushed, problems and red flags were overlooked, and it didn't work out.

What makes these situations even worse is a notion that it was "meant to be" on some level, so you cling to the wreckage a lot longer than you should - or is necessary.

So how do we avoid this mistake?

And what is the timing for that all-important feeling of Attraction?

Look, I know it's not "romantic" - but we do have to balance our head AND our hearts.

Reckless love, when it works out, is terribly alluring. Who doesn't want that high-octane feeling of "WOW!"

But that "reckless love" also comes with a high price to be paid sometimes. It's a gamble.

And it's it's a gamble with the most important part of you - your feelings and your trust. So don't take that too lightly.

You can believe in Love At First Sight - and you can also believe in the fact that if it really is "love" then taking more time won't hurt your chances at all.

In fact, if love requires you to rush in, I'd say that's the same kind of inauthentic scam that a bad salesman might pull on you... "Look, I need you to decide right now if you're in or not..."

And that almost never feels right to me. What do you think?

%name Is it love at first sight?

 

Besides, most "love at first sight" is declared AFTER the fact. Meaning that when it works out, we want to say that we just "knew" that person was for us, and that it was meant to be.

Maybe so, but if it hadn't worked out, you would not have been so forthcoming about your instincts on that person.

The truth is that the best relationships start off with that click... that ZING - as I like to call it.

Where there's equal amounts of heated attraction from both parties. It's that chemistry that creates a real romance.

It's actually kinda sad to see people that got together just because the had nothing better going on. They're together just because it's more convenient than magnetic.

When I met Jen, we had an immediate connection, and her warmth and femininity had me at the very start. Still, I gave it time, and knew that the fun part was dialing up that attraction and desire to be together.

So the question is, how should that spark of Attraction (with a capital "A") feel at the start?

I believe that you should feel it within the first 3 times you get together.

Part of it will be a very physical thing, where you just feel that sexual craving for the other person.

%name Is it love at first sight?

Another indication that you're digging that guy is that "positive mental pull" you feel for them. That's when you find your thoughts coming back to them for no apparent reason.

And then you realize that it's because you feel a draw to them. A sexual ZING.

If you ever find that you're pushing yourself to him because you "ought" to like him, or feel that push from others that say you "should" want him... or just because he looks good on paper...

Beware. That's when you have to watch out.

Because he might actually feel genuine attraction for you, but if you don't - no matter how much you want to - things will never escalate the way they should.

(See my answer to the woman trapped in a loveless relationship...)

And it works the other way, too.

So I say give it - at max - 3 encounters.

But if you know your gut, and your gut ever tells you NO... that's all that you need.

There will be that aching pang of "but what if..." as we always seem to pine away for those imagined missed opportunities. But those pangs are misleading and dangerous.

And they lead you to scarcity thinking. (See my discussion of that trap in the Forever Yours program.)

The world is FULL of eligible and healthy men to entertain as your possible Mr. Right. We live in a world of abundance...

Never forget that...

Yours In Perfect Passion...

- Carlos Cavallo

PS: If you'd like to learn the secrets that Jody wishes she had made, it's not too late for you, either.

Just go here and watch this short video, and discover the 3 questions that make any man open his heart, adore you the way you deserve, and make him yours forever...

336x280 2 Is it love at first sight?

What Do Men Look For In A Woman? 26 Things He Wants From You

Men are hard to read - and even harder is knowing what he’s thinking about your relationship. If you’ve ever asked him what he’s thinking, you know what I’m talking about. You are probably desperate to know: What do men look for in a woman? Maybe you want to get married, settle down and start […]

Read More
Chemistry In A Relationship - Do you have it? Find out…

Chemistry is one of those things that almost seems mystical. And if you don't know what you're looking for, you might not know if you have chemistry in relationship. Everybody talks about chemistry. And it is really important. If you don't have chemistry in your relationship, chances are your passion will just flicker and die […]

Read More
Communication In A Relationship - 9 Tips To Reach Your Man

Any woman who has been in a relationship knows that communication is one of the most important things. In fact, if you don't have communication in a relationship, you don't really have a relationship. But how do you communicate with guys? Men can seem so difficult to talk to. The funny thing is, to men, […]

Read More
How To Be Mysterious - And Make Any Man Desire You

If you ever watched a movie where a woman seduced a man, you may have wondered how to be mysterious like that. How do you make yourself attractive and alluring by being mysterious? Unfortunately, most women don't learn the ancient art of how to use their Feminine Mystique anymore. It's very rare that girls are […]

Read More
Questions To Ask A Guy Over Text

If you've ever found yourself wanting to flirt or just reconnect with a guy, you probably wish you knew some questions to ask a guy over text. This article is going to be different, though. Instead of giving you a bunch of careless questions, I'm going to give you the kinds of questions you MUST […]

Read More
What To Do When He Is Pulling Away From You - 7 Tips

Nothing sends a chill down your spine faster than knowing that your man is growing cold and distant. And when you feel that happening, you need to know what to do when he is pulling away from you. Distance is the one thing that panics men and women. The problem with guys is that they […]

Read More
What To Talk About With A Guy - 18 Tips

Have you ever been talking with a man and found yourself wondering what to say next? You wonder what to talk about with a guy… I'll be the first person to tell you that talking to a man is really not that difficult. The problem is that you only learned how to talk to other […]

Read More
Are You Dating A Married Man? The 26 Rules - And How To NOT Get Hurt

Most women never set out to date a married guy. But for some reason this guy was so appealing and so interesting, and now you find yourself dating a married man. He could be a guy you work with, a guy you met at a party, or really anywhere. Maybe you started talking and realized […]

Read More
How To Make Him Jealous - And Love You More! - 12 Secrets

One of the most common problems a woman has is when a guy seems to be losing interest. And you know that one of the best ways to get him interested again it's figuring out how to make him jealous - and how to make him love you again. It always seems like he's got […]

Read More
Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Guys? 9 Reasons Your Mom Would Never Admit

Have you ever fallen for a bad boy? Almost every woman has felt the attraction for a guy who's a little rough around the edges. And that might make you wonder why do good girls like bad guys? “So why do good girls like bad guys? I had this question for a real long time […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram