10 Long Distance Relationship Tips - How To Make It Work!
By: Carlos Cavallo
A lot of people believe that long-distance relationships are a really bad idea. In fact, if you know what you're doing with a few long distance relationship tips, you can actually make it work.
As a matter of fact, long-distance relationships can work just as well and even better than regular relationships. Whatever "regular" is.
What Is A Long Distance Relationship?
One of the most important things to define is, what makes a long distance relationship long distance?
Is it the time or the actual distance?
I believe it's a little of both.
Here's my “scientific” definition:
You're in a long-distance relationship if it takes longer than 2 hours to get to the other person's house. Either by car or by plane.
Or if you feel like you're just not that close! Ultimately your heart has to agree.
If you don't feel like he's close enough for you to hold and love in person, then you are long distance.
Heck, maybe you even feel that he's just too far away emotionally. In that case, you still need to close the distance.
Things can be difficult in a long distance relationship, that's for sure. It can be lonely, a bit isolating, and sometimes sad. But in between there are a lot more high points of love.
And when you do get together finally, it's fantastic. You’ll have weathered more difficult times in your long distance relationship than most married couples ever will.
The Most Common Long Distance Relationship Problems
But first, we should take a look at a few of the things that could sabotage your long distance relationship. Take note of these:
PROBLEM 1: Not enough contact
One of the easiest things to do is to fall down on your communication with him.
This one is easy to fix, but it's also easy to screw up. Just remember that the answer is not always more communication. Sometimes it really is the quality of your communication.
This is a balance you'll have to figure out with him. You both have different requirements from each other, and probably different from almost everybody else at the same time.
PROBLEM 2: Not enough balance
Again, another problem coming in long distance relationships is when you don't keep a good balance of your regular life to your long-distance romance life.
Way back, I had a long-distance relationship with somebody that was halfway across the United States. I remember that I eventually got way too invested in it. I didn't balance all the other stuff I had to do in my life. Like exercise, self growth, etc.
It was a valuable lesson to learn.
I explain this relationship in detail and those lessons for success in my new program: “Long Distance Love.”
More on that in a bit.
PROBLEM 3: Urgent answer syndrome
Another of the big problems in a long distance relationship is expecting him to respond to you immediately every time you text.
I'll talk about this again in a little bit in the tips section, but you want to avoid getting too caught up in texting as your communication with him.
One of the ways this shows up is when you expect him to answer your text immediately.
You have to keep a realistic view of things when you're in a long-distance relationship.
He's not always going to be available for you. And you're not always going to be available for him.
So watch out for the Urgent Answer Syndrome - where you panic when he doesn't respond right away. Or he panics when you don't respond right away.
What's really happening here?
You're just falling victim to your anxiety. You're having scary thoughts about this other person spontaneously dumping you - maybe now they're suddenly dating and sleeping with somebody new!
If you read that and felt your heart sink a little bit, you know I'm right on.
That's what we do. We imagine the worst case, worst possible situation and make it real in our heads. Even though it's nowhere near “real.”
If you find yourself panicking frequently in a long distance relationship, you will need to have open communication with him about your needs. And you will want to strategize how to avoid these kinds of misunderstandings.
PROBLEM 4: Not handling different time zones
The reality is that he may be a few hours off from your time zone. If he is, this could make things a little complicated in terms of scheduling calls and things like that. He might be getting up when you're going to bed.
Plus you have to keep track of what he might be doing when you have free time. Because he may not be free when you are.
You may have to prepare yourself to schedule things a little differently to accommodate a boyfriend in another time zone. Especially if he is part way around the world in another country.
PROBLEM 5: Emotional Panic
I've been hinting at this one a little bit so far.
The most likely thing that will sabotage your relationship is your insecurities. If you go into an emotional panic because you suddenly think he's cheating on you, or mad at you, or any number of other barriers, that could end things really quick.
You need to know exactly how to handle this situation when it comes up.
Again, I cover this in great detail in my new program - Long Distance Love. I'll tell you more about that in just a moment...
Long Distance Relationship Tips
So now let's get right into it and talk about the tips that will help you survive your long distance relationship...
TIP 1: Watch out for trying to stay TOO connected
One of the things most people do when they’re in a long-distance relationship is try to simulate being there in person with him all the time. That's not a good idea. Mostly because it will just make him feel smothered. And it will also make you fatigued and stressed.
It's hard to balance communication in a relationship. You want to communicate enough, but not too much. And definitely not too little.
So the best thing to do is to simply play it very casually.
You don't have to have a call or even a text every single day. But you should at least agree on the minimum so the both of you feel like you're not anxious about the relationship.
The most likely contaminant to your relationship is when you feel like the other person might be slipping away and you start to panic. This is the worst threat to your relationship, and it's one you have to watch out for.
TIP 2: Bring Out The Bright Side
One of the worst ways to handle a relationship is to be viewing it as already suffering. In other words, you can't look at your relationship as already being in a challenged state. Already being "one down."
That's why it's key for you to look at this distance as being an opportunity - not a setback. And there are plenty of opportunities if you know where to look for them.
For one, this distance means you can communicate more effectively over the distance. You'll learn how to resolve things through communication that you might not if you were together.
Also, you'll appreciate your relationship a lot more than someone who gets to see their loved one every day. Just ask anyone who has a partner that goes off to service in the armed forces.
So when you look at your relationship, take a position that this distance is actually a great opportunity and a benefit instead of a handicap. And you will do much much better for it!
TIP 3: But Be Regular!
You also can't go the other direction and neglect your partner. So make sure that you are regular with your communications.
Make sure you at least talk or converse directly to each other at least every couple days.
You don't have to text every day. But you do need to make sure that you feel connected enough that missing a day won't feel weird or make you anxious.
TIP 4: Keep the sexy times moving
One of the most important things that you have to make up for is the lack of sexual contact between you and him. It's also one of the areas where you will most likely feel the stress and anxiety.
Make sure you're sending lots of dirty text messages, sexy voice mails, naughty emails.
You have to keep the flames of sexual tension hot. And the way to do it is to make sure you are playful and very naughty with your communications.
Never pass up an opportunity to throw in something suggestive or with a double meaning. Sure, it's a little bit like watching a Beavis and Butt-head episode.
But that kind of fun is ESSENTIAL to keep things hot.
TIP 5: Make sure you have some ground rules
Plain and simple, you have to have some structure to your relationship if you're going to keep it going over a distance.
Of course the rules should be set up so that both of you win. Make sure you take into consideration each of your needs and the frequency of them.
If you need a phone call every day, ask him if he can do that much. You might not get a couple hours every day, but the regularity will keep you feeling calmer and less anxious.
The rules are necessary to make sure that neither of you falls into bad patterns. A mature couple should be able to talk about your history and the things that you have discovered that made it difficult in your past relationships.
Use that knowledge now. Share it with him!
If you're going to make a long-distance relationship work, you have to set it up to succeed.
TIP 6: Watch out for texting
One of the biggest mistakes that people make in long-distance relationships is when they rely too much on texting.
Texting is very unsatisfying. And it's also very easy to get addicted to it thinking that it's loving connection.
Texting is actually very sterile.
And most men don't really enjoy constant texting. You might get a little bit of charge out of it, but when you rely on texting too much it will sabotage your relationship.
Try to set up ground rules for texting as well. Find out how he feels about it, and let him know where you stand.
Remember that texting also short circuits more meaningful communication. The more we duck out of phone calls and video calls, the less likely the relationship will grow and thrive.
TIP 7: Share a personal gift
One of the best things you can do is send a personal gift of some kind to him. Something that he can carry with him that reminds him of you. And he should do the same thing back.
We tend to invest emotional energy in certain personal knick-knacks. And one of the best things you can do is to give him something he can invest himself into while he's not around you.
TIP 8: Beware social media
While you do want to stay connected on social media, you don't want to become reliant on it. You might have noticed that it's easy to make up your own stories about what's going on with a person based on what you see on Facebook.
But that really isn't their life. It's just a digital representation.
TIP 9: Don’t forget the Bummers
It's important to share the things that aren't that positive, too. You might feel like you should only be communicating the positive stuff, but the negative stuff is also reality.
Keep in mind that we don't post a lot of the negative things that happened in our life on Facebook. Not many people air their dirty laundry on social media. Which is mostly a good thing, but also unrealistic.
Bummers happen to everybody.
Which is another reason to have a way to vent them with your partner. You have to be able to talk about the difficult stuff as well as the good stuff. That's how your communication will improve.
Make sure you create space in your calls and your communications to share the things that aren't so positive with each other.
Again, don't do this in text.
TIP 10: Keep your non-relationship life active
It's tempting to focus completely on your long-distance relationship as if it were your only relationship. But that's a surefire way to destroy it.
You've got to balance your life. Even if he was in the same city as you, or right next door, you'd still have to take care of the day-to-day.
So don't neglect your non-romantic relationships.
Stay connected to your friends. Stay connected to your family.
Go out with your friends and hang out. Don't feel guilty because he's not with you.
You've got a life - live it!
BONUS TIP: You Gotta Have A Plan!
By far, one of the most important things you need to succeed with a long distance relationship is a plan.
A simple plan for how you're going to make the relationship work, and how you're going to eventually get together when all is said and done.
That's the goal, right? To be together?
In fact, this is not just a tip. This is also the number one reason that most long-distance relationships fail.
Long distance relationships fail when they don't have a plan.
Eventually, you know you want to be with him. And he probably wants to be with you too.
But in reality, most long distance relationships end after just a few months.
They don’t end because of the distance - and they don't end because someone cheated either!
Long distance relationships end because neither person knew how to keep it moving forward.
How to keep it going and make the plan work...
The goal is easy: Fall in love, get together, move in or get married.
But almost nobody knows how to go from meeting to making a long distance relationship into a short distance love affair.
If you want to know how to do that, go take a look at Long Distance Love - Make Him Love You No Matter How Far Away.
I spent months researching and pulling together all the “success habits” of the long distance relationships that worked - where they finally got together and got married.
I found all the key factors that make these relationships work instead of fail. There are dozens of important strategies that work.
And a lot more that don't work that you have to avoid!
And I put them all in one easy-to-use reference for you.
You can basically download all these essential methods into your head in a matter of a few hours. And you’ll be able to make him love you no matter how far away he is.
This program is available right now!
Just click here to grab your copy - for a limited time with a special discount - HERE...
Discover The Secret To Long Distance Love - How To Make Him Love You No Matter How Far Away!
Table of Contents
Carlos Cavallo Dating and Relationship Guru
The 7 Mistakes Women Make That Make Men Pull Away...
The REAL Reason Men Run From Relationships...
How To Know If He's Still Interested In You...
Is He Afraid To Commit? Find out...
Carlos Cavallo Dating and Relationship Guru
Why He Stopped Loving You...
Get Your Free Book Now: The 7 Mistakes Women Make That Make Men Pull Away...
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