The dangers of EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE and LETTING GO for good

By: Carlos Cavallo
 |

How much of your past have you allowed to affect your daily life?

Do you let the negative energy from your failed relationships to cause you distress and cloud your thoughts?

Or have you made the decision to refuse those past events from dictating your present AND future happiness?

If you’ve been hurt before, these are the questions you need to ask to know if you still have work to do.

It may hurt to answer them honestly, because it means confronting some truths that aren’t easy to digest, let alone think about.

But it’s necessary pain you need to experience to get through the healing process all the way.

o SAD COUPLE facebook 300x150 The dangers of EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE and LETTING GO for good

If not, you could very well be keeping yourself firmly rooted to the past, unable to open yourself to new experiences, people and relationships.

Worse, the negative energy I mentioned will slowly hijack your mindset, distorting other people’s actions and motivations.

When you haven’t let go of the bad things that happened to you, it’s easy to be on the defensive with a new guy.

What’s more, you’ll end up projecting an ex-partner’s attitude on this new person, thinking that he’ll do the same things your ex did.

The First Step To Letting Go

Like many say, getting started is always the hardest part; healing is no different.

The biggest hurdle for you right now is internalizing a basic truth: Letting go of past hurts is NOT the same as condoning them.

Just because you choose to stop wasting your time and thoughts on what your ex did, it doesn’t make his actions right.

That’s not the point of moving on. Leaving your baggage behind means cutting the cord, regardless of the wrong things that happened to you.

Sooner or later, all those negative thoughts will become TOO TOXIC for you to bottle up inside. Something has to give - let it be your grudges.

So again, letting go doesn’t make his offenses any less wrong; it’s just that it’s more important to unburden yourself from the mental shackles of your past.

Remember: the past only has as much power as you give it.

Moving Forward

Here’s another reason why the past seems to have such a grip on us: holding onto past grievances is a form of denial.

When you think about it, it’s much easier to believe that never forgetting the past (and always being on the defensive) will keep history from repeating itself.

Don’t give in to this illusion.

No matter what you do, there’s always the risk of getting hurt again. Sorry to tell you this, but that’s how dating (and life) works.

The future can be a terrifying place, especially if you let your emotional baggage decide what the outcome will be.

You might be telling yourself, “What’s the point of trying again if it doesn’t work out like before?”

Banner 2 240x400 180x300 The dangers of EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE and LETTING GO for good

To break free from this mindset, think of a general outcome you want to achieve, then break it down to smaller to-do items that you can work on every day.

This way, achieving a big goal in the distant future won’t seem so intimidating.

Don’t jump in with both feet, guns blazing.

Instead, take it one day at a time – this is how lifelong habits start.

The gratification you get from getting stuff done on a daily basis will keep you going.

Before you know it, those “little” priorities you accomplish every day will have added up to something worthwhile.

This applies to anything you set your mind on: being fit, starting a business, saving up to travel around the world, or being in a great relationship.

And if you’re interested in the last one, a good start would be to learn about a man’s Connection Style.

Having this knowledge will have a profound impact on the future of your dating life – you just need to go here to get started.

Yours, in Perfect Passion,

- Carlos Cavallo

More Articles

How To Get The Spark Back In A Relationship - 8 Must-Read Tips

Every relationship is awesome at the beginning. But it's also perfectly natural to have slow periods in your relationship. You may be wondering right now how to get the spark back in your relationship. Falling in love is easy when the feelings of passion and desire run high. Staying in love is a little trickier. […]

Read More
"My Boyfriend Won't Make Time For Me!" - 9 Tips To Be His Priority

If you've ever been in a relationship where you want to get the attention you deserve, you might have found yourself feeling neglected and unwanted. You may have even told your friends "My boyfriend won't make time for me! What the heck should I do?" Let's tackle this tricky situation and give you the tips […]

Read More
How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work - 20 Secrets To Success

A long-distance relationship can be one of the most challenging situations for dating. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work you gotta know what most women don't know! There are a lot of barriers to keeping a long distance relationship healthy. A lot of people don't believe that long-distance […]

Read More
Is He Just A Friend - Or Is He Interested In You? - 16 Tips!

If you've ever been in love with a guy and wondered: Is he just a friend or is he interested? - you're not alone. When a man and a woman hang out, even if they're only friends, there's always going to be a little bit of sexual tension. Many studies have shown that the number […]

Read More
Dating A Younger Man? 25 Things You Better Know

One of the most controversial parts of dating and relationships is the age of your partner. Is it okay to date someone younger, older? If you're dating a younger man, you better know what to do. We often think about older women dating younger men as “cougars.”  But that label is just not fair. You […]

Read More
Will a Man Change For The Right Woman? Will He Change For YOU?

One of the most common Romance novel plots is the rich, womanizing playboy that finds an amazing woman, realizes the error of his ways, and settles down to be tamed by this amazing woman. But is this realistic? Will a man change for the right woman? Well, we all change over the course of our […]

Read More
When To Date Exclusively - When does a relationship become exclusive?

One of the most important milestones in a relationship is when you become exclusive. It's also one of the most anxious times for women because she's waiting for weeks or even months to figure out “Where is this going?"  So let's talk about exclusive relationships, and when does a relationship become exclusive? In many surveys, […]

Read More
What Do Men Look For In A Woman? 26 Things He Wants From You

Men are hard to read - and even harder is knowing what he’s thinking about your relationship. If you’ve ever asked him what he’s thinking, you know what I’m talking about. You are probably desperate to know: What do men look for in a woman? Maybe you want to get married, settle down and start […]

Read More
Chemistry In A Relationship - Do you have it? Find out…

Chemistry is one of those things that almost seems mystical. And if you don't know what you're looking for, you might not know if you have chemistry in relationship. Everybody talks about chemistry. And it is really important. If you don't have chemistry in your relationship, chances are your passion will just flicker and die […]

Read More
Communication In A Relationship - 9 Tips To Reach Your Man

Any woman who has been in a relationship knows that communication is one of the most important things. In fact, if you don't have communication in a relationship, you don't really have a relationship. But how do you communicate with guys? Men can seem so difficult to talk to. The funny thing is, to men, […]

Read More
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram