Why You Should Move On If He’s NOT Single
So you met this incredibly smart, charming and sexy guy. And all signs point to the possibility that he also has the hots for you.
Now your mind is racing and your heart’s pounding. You can’t believe your luck, finding this one-in-a-million guy who, for all intents and purposes, is the perfect man for you.
There’s one catch, though: He’s already in another relationship.
The swirling vortex of emotions inside you is messing with your head and you’re not sure how to get out of this conundrum.
That sane, rational part of your brain is telling you, “Get out while you can…you’re playing with fire!”
But then, your heart gets into the discussion, too: “What’s so wrong about hooking up with him if he’s seeing someone else? He’s going to drop her as soon as he finds out how awesome you are!”
Making Sense Of The Chaos
Being in the midst of all this turmoil, it’s hard to make a definite decision. After all, it would be a shame if you let this amazing person slip through your fingers.
What are the odds of finding another person who understands you on a level you’ve never seen before, right?
But then again, is it really worth all the trouble to stick with a guy who’s already made a commitment to someone else?
While you’re contemplating what to do with him, chew on this for a while: if you have to sacrifice your principles just to get something, how much further are you willing to go?
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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Also, think about how YOU would feel if he talked to someone else AFTER he decided to choose you.
Are you willing to deal with that possibility?
What would you do if he found someone else and decided to drop you like a hot potato later on? Would you be able to handle that?
Taking The High Road
Besides, would you be able to live with the fact that you took him away from another person who committed herself to him?
If he does decide to leave her for you, there’s NO real reassurance that you won’t be on the other end of the bargain if someone else comes into the picture.
For all you know, you could find yourself in the exact same position as that girl he left – that’s obviously not where you want to be in the future.
As much as you’d want to tell this guy what to say or feel, you won’t be able to stop him from walking out that door when the time comes. The only thing you can truly control is your own decisions and how to move forward.
Making an Exit Strategy
Right now, your emotions are running high – it can change your perception of the situation. However, don’t let that be a reason for you NOT to remove yourself from it.
The thing about emotions is that they’re always fluid. What you feel now won’t necessarily be the same a few months down the road.
This is why you should never make a decision based on your feelings. Acknowledge what’s happening right in front of you – and not what’s brewing in your head.
Remember, how you may feel at a given time doesn’t necessarily reflect reality.
Let those emotions subside on their own. Think of it as a bonfire – eventually, the wood is going to burn itself out.
So, don’t forget that it’s going to take time for the affection that you feel for him to leave your system.
In fact, feelings of romance and infatuation trigger a release of hormones that stimulate the pleasure center of your brain.
Emotions are literally addictive, so you’re going to hit a withdrawal phase.
Ride it out. Embrace the fact that you’re going to look for that rush and power through until you’re on the other side.
When you look back, you’ll come to grips with your reasons for leaving in the first place. You’ll remember that you dodged a bullet by choosing not to get into a relationship with him.
Strength In Numbers
Who says you should get through this alone? You don’t exist in a vacuum, and the other people in your life will give you the support and perspective you need to ride out the storm.
Spend time with your loved ones, friends and everyone else who knows what a great person you are.
They are proof that being single for a while doesn’t mean your life is incomplete.
Not having a guy right now doesn’t take anything away from who you are, and being able to wait for the right one speaks volumes about your self-confidence.
Looking Forward To Better Things
You might be feeling that fear which all women experience at one point or another. It’s that nagging thought that you won’t find another person who’ll rock your world as much as that guy.
But that’s just your mind projecting a worst-case scenario which doesn’t really have any basis in reality. To help you gain a better outlook on your life, focus on the positive effects that your current decisions will have in your future.
By choosing to ditch him now, you’re clearing a path that will lead you to another guy who won’t put you through the same situation.
Think how good it would be to find a man who’s not going to take you for granted, or need to leave someone else high and dry.
Just imagine all the heartbreak and drama you’ll avoid when you decide not to pursue a relationship that was troubled to begin with.
Above all, don’t use up your energy trying to steal a guy away from another woman.
Relationships are tough, even without any cheating involved. You won’t be doing yourself any favors by having to hide an affair.
As hard as it is for you to see it right now, there are way more possibilities for a better relationship out there. It’s just a matter of stepping outside your situation to see them.
Finding the perfect guy for you the right way isn’t easy, but it’s totally worth it in the end. If you want to improve your chances drastically though, it won’t hurt to have a little help.
Yours In Perfect Passion…
– Carlos Cavallo